英文小品剧本

Posts Tagged 搞笑剧本 《正义必胜》英语话剧剧本 5人短剧。搞笑的匪徒,搞笑的绑架案，不错的剧本。 人物 Bunny Cheng: Bunny Chen Eliza Lin: Daughter Celine Tu: Reporter et Aside Sano Hsieh: Small gangster(小流氓) Trent Cheng: Big gangster(大流氓) ——————————————————————————– SCENE I A mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ringing. And her daughter is in the school now. Mom: Hello~ Caller: (A boy is crying.) Ha! Your kid is here. Do you hear his voice? If you want to save your kid, prepare the ransom. Mom: Are you crazy? I don’t have a son!!! Don’t try to cheat me. Stupid guy! The mother is very angry and hung up the phone. But later… the phone is ringing again… Mom: Hello~ Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now? Mom: (I recognize the voice.) You are a fraud, right? Do you want to trick me again? Is it fun? Don’t do such a boring thing, O.K.? I won’t believe you. Caller: Really? Listen to this.(A girl is crying on the phone, ”mom, help me~ help me~) Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor. This time is better but I still won’t fall into your trap to rob me of my money! If you call again, I will call the cop. Do you understand? (Hang up the phone more angrier.) But the voice sounds like her daughter’s and the mom is not disturbed. She decides to go to the elementary school to see her daughter. The mom got there… Mom: Eliza~ Eliza: Mom~ why you are here? Are you missing me? Do you come here to pick me up? Mom: Ya~ are you happy in the school? Let’s go home. I want to tell you something on the way home. Mom tells Eliza about the phone scam and wants her to be careful from now on. SCENE II Because the mother didn’t believe the two gangsters really kidnapped her kid, the gangsters were furious. So they decided to kidnap her daughter this time. The gangsters have found the school her daughter studies in, and observed for many days. Today is the day they plan to kidnap the child. The big gangster always focuses on what he’s doing but the small gangster is usually absent-minded. Big gangster: Hey! Concentrate!! (The big gangster hit the small gangster’s head) Small gangster: Ouch! O.K. O.K. At this moment, the girl appears. Small gangster: (Check the picture.) Hey!! Buddy!! Look! Is that her? Big gangster: Ha! Ha! Ha! It’s hunting time. Small gangster: I’m so excited!! Oh~ what a beautiful girl. Just like a fairy. My sweetheart… Buddy do you know? I feel that I get butterflies in my stomach! Big gangster: (Hitting the small gangster’s head again.) Hey! Wake up!! Stop day-dreaming. Let’s make a move! Small gangster: Oh~ my baby~ I’m coming!! Big gangster: Hey!! Lady!! Can you do me a favor? Eliza: Sure! What can I do for you? Small gangster: (Murmuring) This beautiful lady has a beautiful heart. Big gangster: Sorry. Ignore what he said. Eliza: Never mind! Big gangster: Thanks! I want to go to Tunghai University. Do you know how can I get there? Eliza: Oh… you should go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university. Big gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, turn right and we will see a supermarket at the end of the street. And… Eliza: No! No! No! Go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university. Small gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, then turn left and go straight to the end of the street, then we can see the university. Eliza: Oh, my! No! Wrong again! You two are really a stupid guy. Big gangster: It’s too complex. I can’t remember all the directions. I’m a foreigner. And I have an important presentation there. Could you go with us, guide us there? Please~ Eliza was confused. But she is a kind person and she likes to help people. Eliza: Umm… let me think… okay!! Let’s go! Small gangster: How kind of you!! My little girl. Big gangster: Sorry. Just ignore him. Thank for your help. Eliza goes with the gangsters. In the gangsters’ car, the small gangster suddenly shows a sharp knife. And shouts, “Don’t move!” Eliza is shocked and starts screaming. Eliza: What are you doing? Small gangster: I’m kidnapping you! Eliza: Oh~ I am so scared. Small gangster: (Talk to the big gangster.) Did you hear that, she is scared? Big gangster: Ya~ we are professional. Eliza: Not funny! I’m hungry. I want to go home! I want to go home! Small gangster: Shut up. Don’t be so noisy! Eliza keeps crying. Small gangster: You! Get out of the car! Big gangster: (Hit the small gangster angrily!) Idiot! I have a stupid partner. (Disappointed) Eliza: I agree! (Nod head.) Big gangster: Don’t cry baby, I give you a lollipop. Eliza: Thank you. How kind of you. SCENE III Mother is preparing dinner. Mom: Eliza! Eliza! Time for dinner! I’m hungry! Hurry up! No one answers her. And she realizes there is something wrong. Mom: Eliza, where are you? Don’t play hide and seek w ith me! It’s not funny. I’m hungry. As the mother is finding her daughter, the phone rings. Mom: Hello~ this is Anderson. I’m busy finding my daughter. Don’t bother me! Big gangster: Are you finding your daughter? Ha! Ha! Ha… she is right here. Mom: Good job! Tell her it’s time for dinner. I’m hungry! Big gangster: Hey! You are clueless. I have already kidnapped your daughter, Eliza Anderson! Mom: Hey! Buddy! Don’t trick me! Big gangster: Sure! Listen! (The gangster takes the phone to Eliza.) Eliza: Hello! Mom! I’m here! They are so kind. They gave me a lollipop. The gangster takes the phone away. Big gangster: Do you believe me now? If you want your daughter to come back for dinner. You have to prepare the ransom of NT $ 20,000,000. Mom: Too expensive! 20% off. Big gangster: Are you buying clothes? Mom: Bargain is my hobby. Big gangster: No negotiation you should bring the ransom to Tunghai Lake at 8:00 pm. And remember don’t call the cop. Or you will find your daughter in the lake. Mom: O.K. See you then! At Tunghai Lake. The gangsters and Eliza are baking fish from the lake because they are hungry. At this time, the mother is coming. Mom: Ha! (Mom shouts.) The gangsters and Eliza are shocked. And the small gangster’s fish is falling down on the floor. Small gangster: Oh,! My fish! Who’s there? Mom: It’s me, Bunny Anderson, Eliza’s mother, Anderson’s wife. Where is my daughter? Release my daughter. Eliza: Hi! Mom, I’m here. Do you want to come here to eat fish? Big gangster: Where is the ransom? Mom: Release my daughter first! Big gangster: Give me the ransom first! Mom: No way! And the battle begins. Mom: Justice is always the winner. Eliza: Oh~ Yeah! Mom, you win! Celine: Ha! I got it! I got it! A new…… headline. Celine: I am at Tunghai Lake. Earlier, there was a violent fighting. A watermelon knife V.S. A B.B.Q. fork. According to the witnesses, a mother fought with the gangsters for her daughter. And the mother won. Now, let’s interview the persons involved. Celine: Do you feel regretful? Do you feel sorry to this society? Small gangster: I…… Celine: I…… I know. You are very sorry and regretful. How about you? (Turn to the big gangster.) Big gangster: None of your business. (Run to the wall.) Leave me alone. Eliza: Me! Me! Celine: What do you want to say? Eliza: Uh…My mom is so cool. She came to save me! Mom: My turn. My turn. Celine: O.K. O.K. What do you want to say after winning the fight? Mom: Well…… Celine: Well, you are very happy and proud of yourself to be the winner in the battle. Mom: Yes. And the gangsters… Celine: Oh, the gangsters are very stupid and silly. Mom: Right. And they… Celine: They want to trick you, but… Mom: But… enough. I’m hungry. I want to go home with my daughter. Celine: Next time, if you receive a phone call from a scam artist, here are the things you can do to avoid being tricked. First, stay clam and be skeptical about it. The caller hopes to fool you with a moving story, causing you to forget your good judgment. A little doubt can protect you. Second, verify the story. Call the organization to make sure the story is true. Third, report it to the police. And don’t deal with the villains on your own. One phone call will often expose a trap quickly. However, to tell the truth, the mother is really very brave. She is my idol. I want to keep her sign. This is reporter Celine reporting from Tunghia Lake for TVAS. 《出租车司机》英语话剧剧本 一天出租车司机Tommy遇到了很多奇怪的事情。烦人的女孩、孕妇、抢匪、不管事的警察，甚至还遇到了鬼。。。 Cast Erin Chang: Robber Debby Tsai: Police officer Serrin Lee: Betel nut girl Alec Zhao: Ghost student Leo Lee: Taxi driver Yi-ling Chen: Pregnant woman ————————————————————————— Summary This story talks about a poor taxi driver, Tommy, who meets many strange things in one day. First, he carries a Betel Nut Girl who wants to harass him. Second, a pregnant woman makes him feel nervous. Third, he carries a robber and meets a police officer who only manages traffic. At last, he carries a ghost student. Tommy: Hello, my name is Tommy. Serving you is my honor. Where would you like to go? Betel nut girl: Hi! Tommy. I’m going to Chong-Shan North Road, please. Tommy: Ok, Chong-Shan North Road, no problem. Um? I remember there’s only a Chong-Shan East Road. Miss, are you sure you’re going to Chong-Shan North Road? Betel nut girl: Um, I’m not sure. You just drive. Maybe I will remember where it is later. Betel nut girl: How old are you? Are you married? You’re probably not married since you’re so young. Do you have a girlfriend? Tommy: Um…miss, we are almost at Chong-Shan East Road. Do you want to have a look? Betel nut girl: Oh! Not here. By the way, don’t you feel tired after driving all day long? Maybe I can help you relax. Tommy: What…what do you want to do? Take your hands off me or I’ll scream! Betel nut girl: I did nothing! You just missed a nice chance. Stop the car, I want to get off. Tommy: (Relived) Great! The total is 155 dollars, Thank you. Betel nut girl: Um! Take it! Pregnant woman: Hey! Taxi! Pregnant woman: Thanks. You are real a very kind man. Tommy: Where are you going? Pregnant woman: Hospital, please. Tommy: You’re going to the prenatal checkup, right? It must be very tiring carrying a baby. Pregnant woman: Yeah. It’s almost nine months. Tommy: Woo. Congratulations. Pregnant woman: Thank you. Pregnant woman: (screaming) Tommy: Are you ok? Pregnant woman: (screaming) Tommy: Is it time now? Are you going to deliver your baby now? I will drive as fast as I can. Stay down. Pregnant woman: (screaming) Tommy: We’re almost there. Pregnant woman: (screaming) Tommy: Here we are. Pregnant woman: Are we at the hospital? Well, how much is it? Tommy: Aren’t you going into labor? Pregnant woman: Me? Are you kidding? It’s still a long time before the expected date of childbirth. Tommy: What? Well, what were you just doing? Pregnant woman: Oh, I was just practicing! This is my first time to have a baby, you know. Practice makes perfect! I need to be ready so it will go smoothly. Tommy: Practice! All right… well, the total is one hundred twenty dollars. Tommy: This woman was so strange! I thought she was going to deliver the baby in my car! Robber: Get out of here, quickly! Tommy: A strange pregnant woman just got off my car and now here comes a robber. Tommy: Where do you want to go? Robber: Shut up! Just drive! Tommy: Hey…Hey. Be careful, there’s no eye in bullets. Robber: Shut up! Just drive your car. Tommy: Ok! Ok! You are the boss. Robber: Hum…your gold necklace is very good looking. If it were on my neck, that would be nice. Tommy: Oh…com…come on, don’t do this to me. This is a fake one. I just try to look tough by wearing it. Robber: STOP nonsense!! Don’t treat me like a fool, I warn you! I will shoot you! Tommy: OK! OK! Take it easy. My mouth is sealed. Robber: …. I don’t want to do this …really… but I have 6 brothers, 7 sisters and 8 kids to feed. I even have to sell chewing gums, raise pigs. The worse of all, my husband just got out of the jail…I really have no choice. Tommy: Don’t be so sad…. Here is tissue. Robber: Thank you. Now give me your gold necklace! Hurry up! Do you want to eat bullets!! Tommy: But…but…but…. Robber: Just hand it to me or I’ll become a really bad guy!! Tommy: I don’t want to die yet. The police: Beep~Beep~ stop the car. Tommy: OH! Thank God! I am safe now! Hey, cop, a robber wants to rob me and…. Police officer: Show me your license and registration. Tommy: But…sir.…I got a robber in my back…. Police officer: I only watch out for traffic! The public security is not my business. Tommy: Not your business? But… Police officer: Here’s your ticket. You were speeding. Tommy: But I got a robber in my car! She told me if I couldn’t drive fast enough, she’d shoot me. Police officer: And where is the robber? Tommy: Just right over….what!! She’s gone; she was here just now…. p>Police officer: See….your lie is stupid… Remember to take the ticket. Tommy: Sir! Sir! Tommy: I’m so unlucky. Today is not my day! Oh, no! How did I come to this middle-of-nowhere? Someone’s waving at me. Who would take a taxi in this strange place? Tommy: Hello! Serving you is my honor. Where do you want to go? Ghost student: To my home, please. Tommy: Um…can you say it more clearly? I don’t know where your home is. Ghost student: Oh, my home is located on Ta-Du Mountain. Tommy: No problem. Um… it’s an unusual place to live. Ghost student: Yes. It’s very special. My ancestors all lived here. Tommy: Oh! You’ve lived here for a long time, right? Ghost student: That’s right. Tommy: Here we are, but I don’t see any houses around. By the way, it’s so dark here. Ghost student: Don’t be so surprised. We’re in the mountain. Tommy: Are you sure your home is here? Ghost student: Yes. How much is it? Tommy: Um…The total is 100 dollars. Ghost student: I only have a 500 dollars bill. Tommy: That’s OK, I can give you change. Ghost student: There you go. Tommy: Um… What’s this? Ghost student: Money. Tommy: But…where did he go? Oh, no!…This is…ghost money…(screaming) The Rolling Orange英语话剧剧本 很有趣的4人话剧，讲述桔子的故事。一天早上，桔子一家醒来，发现人们开着卡车，搬着梯子，来摘桔子了，快来看看他们的命运如何吧。 人物 Tom: Father Orange Klye: Mother Orange Wallis: Older Sister Orange Jessie: Little Brother Orange Characters Father Orange: He is a middle-aged, considerate, and thoughtful man. Mother Orange: She is a younger and more youthful woman than Father. She is also very optimistic. Older Sister Orange: She is young , energetic, and competitive . Little Brother Orange: He is the youngest and, therefore, a little spoiled. SCENE I One Morning in an Orange Orchard. (Today is a sunny day . An orange family is discussing nervously about something on an orange tree in an orchard. ) Father: I was awakened early this morning by the sound of trucks in the field (yawning). Mother: Well, it wasn’t the first time to be like this. Sister: A whole bunch of strange men was brought in by trucks. Brother: That really scared me. They got out and started to climb up ladders. Sister: (Afraid suddenly) Oh! My friends were grabbed and put into large bags. I could hear them yell for help. Father: Hey! We shouldn’t look at them; otherwise, they’ll notice us. Mother: But it’s useless. Sister: Oh, God! We’re discovered! Brother: Oh! We’re being grabbed and pulled from our branches. What will we do for food and water? Sister: It will be so uncomfortable going to town in that bag with a lot of strangers. Mother: Well, we’ll just have to do our best. Father: Yeah! SCENE II On a Fruit Stand. (After having been on the road in a bag for half an hour, they are placed on a fruit stand. ) Sister: Gee! This place is so cold and desolate. I wish we had our friends here on this stand (looks at the opposite fruit stall). Brother: I tried to make friends with these people on our way here, but everyone looked pretty uncomfortable and scared. (Suddenly) Sister: Oh! Mother! How could they do that? Mother: What are you talking about? Brother: I know what she’s talking about (Brother turns to look). Father: What did you see? Sister: My friends were cut up and eaten. How could they do that? I’m so scared. Father: Now, children, be calm. Mother: Sh~ Someone’s coming. Father: Try to be quiet. Sister: I don’t want to be taken away. Brother: Oh! My friend’s being taken away. Sister: Your friend looks so fat. Mother: If we look sour, maybe we won’t be taken away. Brother: That’s a bright idea. But how could we look sour? Mother: Now, children, stop being scared and calm down. Father: Oh! No! I’m being looked at. Mother: I told you not to eat so much. Now you look so fat and juicy. (Father is being taken away.) Brother: Oh, no, Dad! Father: (Sadly) Good bye, children. Sister: Oh! Dad’s being put into the basket and taken away. Mother: Oh, no! Brother: Stop that. Our father can’t be taken away. Mother: Look, he’s being bagged and put into a cart. Sister: Hey! The cart’s wheels are going out of the store. Brother: A car’s pulling up. Mother: Oh, no! His bag is being picked up. Sister: But it’s breaking. And Dad’s falling out. Brother: Dad’s rolling away. All: (Jumping up and down cheering) ROLL! ROLL! He’s getting away. Sister & Brother: Yip! Yip! Hurray for Dad! Mother: Oh! Thank God. 搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》 演员表： 西门吹雪 叶孤城 花满楼 king 旁白 道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。 第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠 旁白：A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow . Birdsaredancinginthecold . Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep . Windiscominginsilence. Another mysteriousmanapproaches . Y与X相遇． X：oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou ! Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay. X:Excuseme， whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname? Y:ha ha ,Iwon’tchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. I’mthemostfamous——-YeGucheng. Whoareyou? X:Iamximenchuixue. Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue? X:Yes,whatiswrong? Y:IheardthatyouarethebestingMartialArts? X:Great, youknowme ! Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’tkillme! letmeyougo! X:No, Imustkillyou ! Y:Idon””””””””twanttobekilled.Thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme! X:Noway! Becausewearefightingnow!youknow? Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don””””””””t forceme! X:Pardon! (Y拿出一袋牛奶) X抢过牛奶:milk, verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat? Y:pleasedrinkit! X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme? X:Sure, must! milkismilk. Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood! verygood! Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!? X:I’msureIwon’t! Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon””””””””tbeatyourthistime, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-