穿普拉达的女王-台词1

Hi.Uh,IhaveanappointmentwithEmilyCharlton?-AndreaSachs?-Yes.Great.HumanResourcescertainlyhasanoddsenseofhumor.Followme.Okay,soIwasMiranda/'ssecondassistant&butherfirstassistantrecentlygotpromoted,andsonowI/'mthefirst.-Oh,andyou/'rereplacingyourself.-Well,Iamtrying.Mirandasackedthelasttwogirlsafteronlyafewweeks.Weneedtofindsomeonewhocansurvivehere.Doyouunderstand?Yeah.Ofcourse.Who/'sMiranda?Oh,myGod.Iwillpretendyoudidnotjustaskmethat.She/'stheeditorinchiefofRunway,nottomentionalegend.Youworkayearforher,andyoucangetajobatanymagazineyouwant.Amilliongirlswouldkillforthisjob.Itsoundslikeagreatopportunity.I/'dlovetobeconsidered.[Giggling]Andrea,Runwayisafashionmagazinesoaninterestinfashioniscrucial.WhatmakesyouthinkI/'mnotinterestedinfashion?-[CellPhoneRinging]-Oh,myGod.No!No!No!What/'swrong?She/'sonherway.Telleveryone!She/'snotsupposedtobehereuntil9:.Herdriverjusttextmessaged,andherfacialistrupturedadisk.-God,thesepeople!-[Whistles,Whispers]Who/'sthat?ThatIcan/'teventalkabout.Allright,everyone!Girdyourloins!-[ExcitedChattering]-Didsomebodyeatanonionbagel?[Exhales,Sniffs][BellDings]Sorry,Miranda.[BellDings]Moveit!Ooh!Idon/'tunderstandwhyit/'ssodifficulttoconfirmanappointment.Iknow.I/'msosorry,Miranda.Iactuallydidconfirmlastnight.Detailsofyourincompetencedonotinterestme.TellSimoneI/'mnotgoingtoapprovethatgirlthatshesentmefortheBrazilianlayout.Iaskedforclean,athletic,smiling.Shesentmedirty,tiredandpaunchy.AndR.S.V.P.YestotheMichaelKorsparty.Iwantthedrivertodropmeoffat9:30andpickmeupat9:45sharp.-[Whispers]9:45sharp.-CallNatalieatGloriousFoods,tellhernoforthe40thtime.No,Idon/'twantdacquoise.Iwanttortesfilledwithwarmrhubarbcompote.Thencallmyex-husbandandremindhimtheparent-teacherconferenceisatDaltontonight.Thencallmyhusband,askhimtomeetmefordinneratthatplaceIwenttowithMassimo.TellRichardIsawthepicturesthathesentforthatfeatureonthefemaleparatroopersandthey/'reallsodeeplyunattractive.Isitimpossibletofindalovely,slenderfemaleparatrooper?-No.-AmIreachingforthestarshere?Notreally.Also,IneedtoseeallthethingsthatNigelhaspulledforGwyneth/'ssecondcovertry.Iwonderifshe/'slostanyofthatweightyet.Who/'sthat?Nobody.Um,uhHumanResourcessentherupaboutthenewassistantjob,andIwaspreinterviewingher.Butshe/'shopelessandtotallywrongforit.ClearlyI/'mgoingtohavetodothatmyselfbecausethelasttwoyousentmewerecompletelyinadequate.Sosendherin.That/'sall.Right.-Shewantstoseeyou.-Oh!Shedoes?Move!-Thisisfoul.Don/'tletherseeit.Go!-That/'s[Sighs]Whoareyou?Uh,mynameisAndySachs.IrecentlygraduatedfromNorthwesternUniversity.Andwhatareyoudoinghere?[ClearsThroat]Well,IthinkIcoulddoagoodjobasyourassistant.And,umYeah,IcametoNewYorktobeajournalistandsentlettersouteverywhereandthenfinallygotacallfromElias-ClarkeandmetwithSherryupatHumanResources.Basically,it/'sthisorAutoUniverse.-Soyoudon/'treadRunway?-Uh,no.Andbeforetoday,youhadneverheardofme.No.Andyouhavenostyleorsenseoffashion.Well,um,Ithinkthatdependsonwhatyou/'reNo,no.Thatwasrtaquestion.Um,IwaseditorinchiefoftheDailyNorthwestern.Ialso,um,wonanationalcompetitionforcollegejournalistswithmyseriesonthejanitors/'union,whichexposedtheexploitationThat/'sall.[Scoffs]Yeah.Youknow,okay.You/'reright.Idon/'tfitinhere.IamnotskinnyorglamorousandIdon/'tknowthatmuchaboutfashion.ButI/'msmart.IlearnfastandIwillworkveryhardIgottheexclusiveontheCavalliforGwynethbuttheproblemis,withthathugefeatheredheaddressthatshe/'swearing¡­shelookslikeshe/'sworkingthemainstageattheGoldenNugget.Thankyouforyourtime.Whoisthatsadlittleperson?Arewedoingabefore-and-afterpieceIdon/'tknowabout?BrownandLaw,please?Thankyou.-Andrea.-Hmm?Wait.Yougotajobatafashionmagazine?-Mm-hmm.-Whatwasit,aphoneinterview?-[Woman]wow.-Ow!Don/'tbeajerk.MirandaPriestlyisfamousforbeingunpredictable.Okay,Doug.HowisitthatyouknowwhosheisandIdidn/'t?-I/'mactuallyagirl.-Oh!-Thatwouldexplainsomuch.-[Doug]Look,seriously.MirandaPriestlyisahugedeal.Ibetamilliongirlswouldkillforthatjob.Yeah,great.ThethingisI/'mnotoneofthem.[Woman]Look,yougottastartsomewhere,right?Imean,lookatthisdumpNateworksin.Imean,comeon.Papernapkins?Hello.Yeah.AndLily,sheworksatthatgallerydoing,uh,youknowOh,I/'msorry.Whatexactlyisitthatyoudoanyway?Well,luckyforme,Ialreadyhavemydreamjob.[WithLily]You/'reacorporateresearchanalyst!-Oh,you/'reright.Myjobsucks.-No!-Itsucks.Idon/'tIt/'sboring.-It/'sallright.Breathe.-I/'mtrying.-Here.Takeadrink.-Iwillhaveadrink.Iwillhaveadrink.-Ah,yes.-I/'dliketoproposeatoast.Tojobsthatpaytherent.-Tojobsthatpaytherent.[Lily]Jobsthatpaytherent.Oh,baby.YoushouldseethewaythesegirlsatRunwaydress.Idon/'thaveathingtoweartowork.Comeon.You/'regonnabeansweringphonesandgettingcoffee.Youneedaballgownforthat?IthinkImight.Well,Ihappentothinkyoulookgreatalways.Aww!Ithinkyou/'refullofit.[Giggling]-Hey.Comeon.Let/'sgohome.-Yeah.Icanthinkofsomethingwecandothatdoesn/'trequireanyclothing.-Really?-Mmm.-[PhoneRinging]-[WomanSinging]Hello?Andrea,MirandadecidedtokilltheautumnjacketstoryforSeptemberandsheispullinguptheSedonashootfromOctober.Youneedtocomeintotheofficerightthissecondandpickuphercoffeeorderontheway.-Now?-Now,getapenandwritethisdown.Iwantoneno-foamskimmedlattewithanextrashotandthreedripcoffeeswithroomformilk.-Searinghot.AndImeanhot.-[LineClicks]-[Continues]-[CellPhoneRinging]Hello?-[Emily]Whereareyou?-Oh,I/'malmostthere.Yeah.Shoot!Oh![Ends]Istheresomereasonthatmycoffeeisn'there?Hasshediedorsomething?No.[Whispers]God.Oh.Bloodytime.-Ihopeyouknowthatthisisaverydifficultjob-Mm-hmm.Forwhichyouaretotallywrong.Andifyoumessup,myheadisonthechoppingblock.Now,hangthatup.Don'tjustflingitanywhere.Okay.Firstofall,youandIanswerthephones.Thephonemustbeansweredeverysingletimeitrings.Callsrolltovoicemail,andshegetsveryupset.IfI/'mnothere¡­Andrea,Andrea¡­youarechainedtothatdesk.-Well,whatifIneedto-What?No.OnetimeanassistantleftthedeskbecausesheslicedherhandopenwithaletteropenerandMirandamissedLagerfeld;justbeforeheboardeda17-hourflighttoAustralia.ShenowworksatTVGuide.-Manthedeskatalltimes.Gotit.-[PhoneRings]-Uh-MirandaPriestly/'soffice.No,she/'snotavailable.-Whoisit?-[MouthingWords]Yes,Iwilltellheryoucalledyetagain.-[BellChimes]-Right.Remember,youandIhavetotallydifferentjobs.Imean,yougetcoffee;[Scoffs]andyourunerrands.YetIaminchargeofherscheduleherappointmentsandherexpenses.And,um,mostimportantly,umIgettogowithhertoParisforFashionWeekinthefall.Igettowearcouture.Igotoalltheshowsandalltheparties.Imeetallofthedesigners.It/'sdivine.Okay.Now,stayhere.I/'mgoingtotheartdepartmenttogivethemtheBook.-The..-ThisistheBook.Now,itisamock-upofeverythinginthecurrentissue.AndwedeliverittoMiranda/'sapartmenteverynight,andshereturnDon/'ttouchit.Shereturnsittousinthemorningwithhernotes.Now,thesecondassistantissupposedtodothisbutMirandaisveryprivateandshedoesnotlikestrangersinherhouse.SountilshedecidesthatyouarenotatotalpsychoIgetthelovelytaskofwaitingaroundfortheBook.-[PhoneRings]-Oh,Emily?WhatdoIdo-Dealwithit.-[Rings][Sighs][Rings]Hello.Mrs.Priestly/'soffice.Hmm.That/'swhatImeant.MirandaPriestly/'soffice.[Groans]Um,youknow,sheisinameeting.CanIpleasetakeamessage?Uh-huh.Okay.CanyoupleasespellGabbana?-[LineClicks,DialToneHums]-Hello?Iguessnot.Iguessedaneightandahalf.Um,uh,that/'sveryniceofyoubutIdon/'tthinkIneedthese.Mirandahiredme.SheknowswhatIlooklike.-Doyou?-[Chuckles]Emily.Emily?Shemeansyou.-Wejustcutonthebias.-[Miranda]That/'snotwhatIaskedyou.Icouldn/'thavebeenclearer.Thereyouare,Emily.-HowmanytimesdoIhavetoscreamyourname?-Actually,it/'sAndy.MynameisAndy.Andrea,but,uh,everybodycallsmeAndy.[Chuckles]Ineed10or15skirtsfromCalvinKlein.-Whatkindofskirtsdoyou-Pleaseboresomeoneelsewithyourquestions.AndmakesurewehavePier59at8:a.m.Tomorrow.RemindJocelynIneedtoseeafewofthosesatchelsthatMarcisdoinginthepony.AndthentellSimoneI/'lltakeJackieifMaggieisn/'tavailable.-DidDemarchelierconfirm?-D-DidD-DemarchelDemarchelier.Didhe...Gethimonthephone.Uh,o...okay.-And,Emily£¿-Yes?That/'sall.It/'sjustthecavalierdisregardforcleardirections....[ChatteringContinues]DoyouhaveDemarchelier?Uh,Demarchelier.-[Groans]Leaveit.-Doyouhave...IhaveMirandaPriestlycalling.IhavePatrick!Uh,no,shecalledmeinthereand-andthensheaskedmeaboutPier59.AndtherewassomethingaboutSimone,Frankie,someoneelse.And,um,sheneedsskirtsfromCalvinKlein.And,uh,therewassomethingaboutapony.-Didshesaywhichskirts?-No.No.-Didshesaywhatkind?Color,shape,fabric?-Itriedtoaskher.YoumayneveraskMirandaanything.Right.Iwilldealwithallofthis,andyouwillgotoCalvinKlein.Eh.Me?Oh,I/'msorry.Doyouhavesomepriorcommitment?Somehideousskirtconventionyouhavetogoto?Uh-[CellPhoneRings]-Miranda?-Areyouthere?-I/'mabouttowalkin.I/'llcallyouassoonas[LineClicks]-[CellPhoneRings]-[HornHonks]-Hello?Hi.-[Emily]Whileyou/'reoutMirandaneedsyoutogotoHermestopickup25scarvesweorderedforher.-Okay.-CassidyforgotherhomeworkatDalton.Pickthatup.MirandawentouttomeetwithMeisel,andshewillwantmoreStarbuckswhenshegetsback.-HotStarbucks.-Canyoujustrepeatthatfirst-[DialToneHums]-Hello?Oh,myGod.Whattookyousolong?Ihavetopee!What?Youhaven/'tpeedsinceIleft?No,Ihaven/'t.I/'vebeenmanningthedesk,haven/'tI?I/'mbursting.Oh,hi.-[SnapsFingers]-Youdocoat.Dothecoat!Okay.Now,beprepared.Therun-throughisat12:30.Peoplearepanicking,sothephoneisgoingtoberingingoffthehook.Theru...Therun-through.Right.Yes.Editorsbringinoptionsfortheshoot,andMirandachooses.Shechooseseverysinglethingineverysingleissue.Run-throughsareahugedeal.Idon/'tknowwhyyoudon/'tknowthat,Andrea.-[Woman]Okay.Areyouready?-[Emily]Oh,hi,hi.Right.Well,aftertheloo,SerenaandIaregoingtolunch.-Thisisher...thenewme.-Hi.-Toldyou.-Ithoughtyouwerekidding.No,quiteserious,yeah.Iget20minutesforlunch,andyouget15.-WhenIcomeback,youcango.-Okay.[Serena]Whatexactlyisshewearing?[Giggling]Hergrandmother/'sskirt.[ManSingingInFrench]Hmm.Cornchowder.That/'saninterestingchoice.Youdoknowthatcelluliteisoneofthemainingredientsincornchowder.[ManSingingInFrenchContinues]Sononeofthegirlshereeatanything?Notsincetwobecamethenewfourandzerobecamethenewtwo.-Well,I/'masix.-Whichisthenew14.Oh.Shoot.Oh,nevermind.I/'msureyouhaveplentymorepolyblendwherethatcamefrom.-[CashRegisterClicking]-Okay.Youthinkmyclothesarehideous.Igetit.But,youknow,I/'mnotgoingtobeinfashionforeversoIdon/'tseethepointofchangingeverythingaboutmyselfjustbecauseIhavethisjob.Yes,that/'strue.That/'sreallywhatthismultibillion-dollarindustryisallaboutanyway,isn/'tit?-Innerbeauty.-[CellPhoneRings]Hello.Right.Comeon.-Miranda/'spushedtherun-throughupahalfanhour.-Mmm!-She/'salways15minutesearly.-Whichmeans?-You/'realreadylate.Come.-Shoot!Excuseme.-[BellDings]-Mr.Ravitz.Nigel.-Issuegoingwell?-Oh,yes.OurbestSeptemberever.Great.HeardMirandakilledautumnjacketsandpulleduptheSedonashoot.What/'sthatcostingme?About300£¬000Musthavebeensomelousyjackets.-IrvRavitz.-Oh,I/'msorry.ThisisAndySachs,Miranda/'snewassistant.Congratulations,younglady.Amilliongirlswouldkillforthatjob.Bye-bye.-Hmm?-ChairmanofElias-Clarke,IrvRavitz.Youknowwhattheysay?Tinyman,hugeego.No.AndI/'veseenallthisbefore.Theyskensistryingtoreinventthedropwaist,soactuallyit/'s-Wherearealltheotherdresses?-Wehavesomerighthere.-Stand,watchandlisten.-AndIthinkitcanbeveryinterestingNo.No,Ijust...It/'sjustbafflingtome.Whyisitsoimpossibletoputtogetheradecentrun-through?Youpeoplehavehadhoursandhourstoprepare.It/'sjustsoconfusingtome.Wherearetheadvertisers?-WehavesomepiecesfromBananaRepublic.-Weneedmore,don/'twe?-Oh.Thisis...Thismightbe...Whatdoyouthinkof-Yeah.Well,youknowme.GivemeafullballerinaskirtandahintofsaloonandI/'monboard.-Butdoyouthinkit/'stoomuchlike-LiketheLacroixfromJuly?Ithoughtthat,butno,notwiththerightaccessories.Itshouldwork.Wherearethebeltsforthisdre£¿Whyisnooneready?Here.It/'satoughcall.-They/'resodifferent.-[Miranda]Hmm.[Snorts,Chuckles]Somethingfunny?No.No,no.Nothing/'sYouknow,it/'sjustthatboththosebeltslookexactlythesametome.Youknow,I/'mstilllearningaboutthisstuffand,uh"This...stuff"?Oh.Okay.Isee.Youthinkthishasnothingtodowithyou.Yougotoyourclosetandyouselect....Idon/'tknow.....thatlumpybluesweater,forinstance...becauseyou/'retryingtotelltheworldthatyoutakeyourselftooseriously....tocareaboutwhatyouputonyourback.Butwhatyoudon/'tknowisthatthatsweaterisnotjustblue.It/'snotturquoise.It/'snotlapis.It/'sactuallycerulean.Andyou/'realsoblithelyunawareofthefact...thatin22,OscardelaRentadidacollectionofceruleangowns.AndthenIthinkitwasYvesSaintLaurent...wasrtit...whoshowedceruleanmilitaryjackets?-Ithinkweneedajackethere.-Mmm.Andthenceruleanquicklyshowedupinthecollectionsofeightdifferentdesigners.Andthenit,uh,filtereddownthroughthedepartmentstores...andthentrickledondownintosometragicCasualCorner...whereyou,nodoubt,fisheditoutofsomeclearancebin.However,thatbluerepresentsmillionsofdollars...andcountlessjobs...andit/'ssortofcomicalhowyouthinkthatyou/'vemadeachoice...thatexemptsyoufromthefashionindustry...when,infact...you/'rewearingasweaterthatwasselectedforyoubythepeopleinthisroomfromapileofstuff.SothenIsaid,"No,Icouldn/'tseethedifference...betweenthetwoabsolutelyidenticalbelts/'"...andyoushouldhaveseenthelookshegaveme!Ithoughtthefleshwasgonnameltoffherface.-[Chuckles]-It/'snotfunny.She/'snothappyunlesseveryonearoundherispanicked,nauseousorsuicidal.AndtheClackersjustworshipher.-Thewho?-TheycallthemClackers.Thesoundthattheirstilettosmakeinthemarblelobby.It/'slike,"Clack,clack,clack.Clack,clack."[Groans]Andtheyallactlikethey/'recuringcancerorsomething.[Chuckling]Theamountoftimeandenergy...thatthesepeoplespendontheseinsignificant,minutedetails,andforwhat?Sothattomorrowtheycanspendanother$3,0reshootingsomething...thatwasprobablyfinetobeginwith...tosellpeoplethingstheydon/'tneed!God!-I/'mnotevenhungryanymore.-What?-Thatiswhythosegirlsaresoskinny.-Oh.No,no,no.Givemethat.There/'s,like,eightdollarsofJarlsberginthere.[Sighs]Youknowwhat?Ijusthavetostickitoutforayear.Oneyear.AndthenIcandowhatIcametoNewYorktodo.ButIcan/'tletMirandagettome.Iwon/'t.Easythere,tiger.-Oh,goodmorning,Miranda.-GetmeIsaac.Idon/'tseemybreakfasthere.Aremyeggshere?Wherearemyeggs?Excuseme!PickupthePolaroidsfromthelingerieshoot.Havethebrakescheckedonmycar.-[TruckHornHonking]-[Gasps]Where/'sthatpieceofpaperIhadinmyhandyesterdaymorning?Thegirlsneednewsurfboardsorboogieboardsorsomethingforspringbreak.-Hello.-Thetwinsalsoneedflip-flops.-Ow!-Oh,mygosh!PickupmyshoesfromBlahnik,andthengogetPatricia.-Who/'sthat?-Goodgirl!Goodgirl!Goodgirl!GetmethatlittletablethatIlikedatthatstoreonMadison.Getusareservationfordinnertonightatthatplacethatgotthegoodreview.-GetmeIsaac.-Thirty-sixthank-younotesdeliveredtoday.-Whereiseveryone?-Whyisnooneworking?[Miranda/'sVoiceOverlapping]GetmeDemarchelier.IhaveMirandaPriestlycallingfor...Okay.IhavePatrick.[Sighs]ThankGodit/'sFriday,right?AtleastMirandawillbeinMiami,sowedon/'thavetobeoncallthisweekend.Youknow,mydad/'scominginfromOhio.Yeah,we/'regonnagoouttodinner,maybeseeChicago.Youdoinganythingfunthisweekend?Yes.[Piano][Andy]Yeah,Natesaiditwasgreat.Heactually...Heappliedhere,buttheywantedsomeonewithmoreexperience.-Here.-Huh?What/'sthis?Idon/'twantyoutogetbehindonyourrent.-Dad,howdidyou-It/'sI/'mgonnakillMom.[Chuckles]Dad,thankyou.Mm-hmm.-It/'sreallygoodtoseeyou.-Youtoo,honey.So,youwanttostartgrillingmenoworshouldwewaittillafterdinner?IthoughtI/'dletyouatleastenjoythebreadbasketfirst.No,no,no.It/'sokay.Gorightahead.We/'rejustalittleworried,honey.Wegete-mailsfromyouatyourofficeat2:a.m.Yourpayisterrible.Youdon/'tgettowriteanything.Hey,that/'snotfair.Iwrotethosee-mails.I/'mjusttryingtounderstandwhysomeonewhogotacceptedtoStanfordLawturnsitdowntobeajournalist,andnowyou/'renotevendoingthat.Dad,youhavetotrustme.BeingMiranda/'sassistantopensalotofdoors.EmilyisgoingtoPariswithMirandainafewmonthsandshe/'sgonnameeteditorsandwritersfromeveryimportantmagazine.Andinayear,thatcouldbeme.-Allright?-Mm-hmm.Dad,Iswear,thisismybreak.-Thisismy...mychance.-[CellPhoneRinging]Thisismyboss.-I/'msorry,Dad.Ihavetotakethis.-Takeit.Takeit.-Hello.Miranda?-Myflighthasbeencanceled.It/'ssomeabsurdweatherproblem.Ineedtogethometonight.Thetwinshavearecitaltomorrowmorningatschool.-What?-Atschool!-Absolutely.LetmeseewhatIcando.-Good.Hi.Um,IknowthisistotallylastminutebutIwashopingthatyoucouldmaybegetaflightformybossfromMiamitoNewYorktonight?Uh-[Dad]It/'srighthere.Thankyou.-[Andy]Yeah,anykindofjet.-FromMiamitoNewYork.-Thankyou.-Yup,Ineedittonight.Ineedit-Ow!-Ithoughtyouweregoingouttheother-Sweetie!No.-It/'soverhere,honey.-Tonight.Hi.I/'mtryingtogetaflighttonight...fortonight...fromMiamitoNewYork.Yes,Iknowthere/'sahurricane.Nothingisflyingout?Whatdoyoumean,nothingisflyingout?It/'sforMirandaPriestly,andIknowthatshe/'saclientofyours.Yes.Yes,hi.IneedajettonightfromMiamitoNewYork.Yeah.Sorry.Holdon.Hello?Miranda,hi.I/'mtryingtogetyouaflight,butnooneisflyingoutbecauseoftheweather.Please.It/'sjust...Idon/'tknow...drizzling.-[Thunderclap]-Someonemustbegettingout.CallDonatella.Getherjet.Calleverybodyelsethatweknowthathasajet.Irv?Callevery...Thisisyourresponsibil.....Thisisyourjob.Getmehome.Oh,myGod!She/'sgoingtomurderme.Whatdoesshewantyoutodo,calltheNationalGuardandhaveherairliftedoutofthere?Ofcoursenot.CouldIdothat?Comeon.Comeon.Thegirls/'recitalwasabsolutelywonderful.TheyplayedRachmaninoff.Everyonelovedit.Everyoneexceptme...because,sadly,Iwasnotthere.Miranda,I/'msosorry.DoyouknowwhyIhiredyou?Ialwayshirethesamegirlstylish,slender,ofcourseworshipsthemagazine.Butsooften,theyturnouttobeIdon/'tknow...disappointingand,um...stupid.Soyou,withthatimpressiveresumeandthebigspeechaboutyourso-calledworkethicI,um...Ithoughtyouwouldbedifferent.Isaidtomyself,goahead.Takeachance.Hirethesmart,fatgirl.[ClearsThroat]Ihadhope.MyGod.Iliveonit.Anyway,youendedupdisappointingmemorethan,ummorethananyoftheothersillygirls.Um,IreallydideverythingIcouldthinkof.-Uh...-That/'sall.Excuseme!Wheredoyouthinkyou/'regoing?Shehatesme,Nigel.Andthat/'smyproblembecauseOh,wait.No,it/'snotmyproblem.Idon/'tknowwhatelseIcandobecauseifIdosomethingright,it/'sunacknowledged.Shedoesn/'tevensaythankyou.ButifIdosomethingwrong,sheisvicious.-Soquit.-What?-Quit.-Quit?Icangetanothergirltotakeyourjobinfiveminutes...onewhoreallywantsit.No,Idon/'twanttoquit.That/'snotfair.But,youknow,I/'mjustsayingthatIwouldjustlikealittlecreditforthefactthatI/'mkillingmyselftrying.Andy,beserious.Youarenottrying.-Youarewhining.-LWhatisitthatyouwantmetosaytoyou,huh?Doyouwantmetosay,"Pooryou.Miranda/'spickingonyou.Pooryou.PoorAndy"?Hmm?Wakeup,six.She/'sjustdoingherjob.Don/'tyouknowthatyouareworkingattheplacethatpublishedsomeofthegreatestartistsofthecentury?Halston,Lagerfeld,delaRenta.Andwhattheydid,whattheycreatedwasgreaterthanartbecauseyouliveyourlifeinit.Well,notyou,obviously,butsomepeople.Youthinkthisisjustamagazine,hmm?Thisisnotjustamagazine.Thisisashiningbeaconofhopefor..oh,Idon/'tknowlet/'ssayayoungboygrowingupinRhodeIslandwithsixbrotherspretendingtogotosoccerpracticewhenhewasreallygoingtosewingclassandreadingRunwayunderthecoversatnightwithaflashlight.Youhavenoideahowmanylegendshavewalkedthesehalls.Andwhat/'sworse,youdon/'tcare.Becausethisplace,wheresomanypeoplewoulddietoworkyouonlydeigntowork.Andyouwanttoknowwhyshedoesn/'tkissyouontheforeheadandgiveyouagoldstaronyourhomeworkattheendoftheday.Wakeup,sweetheart.[Sighs]-Okay.SoI/'mscrewingitup.-Mmm.Idon/'twantto.IjustwishthatIknewwhatIcoulddoto-[Sighs]Nigel?-Hmm?Nigel,Nigel.No.Idon/'tknowwhatyouexpectmetodo.There/'snothinginthiswholeclosetthat/'llfitasizesix.Icanguaranteeyou.Theseareallsamplesizes...twoandfour.-Allright.We/'redoingthisforyou.And...-Aponcho?You/'lltakewhatIgiveyouandyou/'lllikeit.-We/'redoingthisDolceforyou.-Hmm!Andshoes.-JimmyChoo/'s.-Hmm.-ManoloBlahnik.-Wow.NancyGonzalez.Lovethat.Okay,NarcisoRodriguez.Thiswelove.-Uh,itmightfit.Itmight.-What?Okay.Now,Chanel.You/'reindesperateneedofChanel.Darling,shallwe?Wehavetogettothebeautydepartment,andGodknowshowlongthat/'sgoingtotake.[Groans]Imean,IhavenoideawhyMirandahiredher.Meneither.Theotherday,wewereinthebeautydepartment.ShehelduptheShuUemuraeyelashcurlerandsaid,"Whatisthis?"[Laughing]IjustknewfromthemomentIsawhershewasgoingtobeacompleteandutterdisas-[PhoneRings]-MirandaPriestly/'soffice.No,actually,she/'snotavailable,butI/'llleaveword.Okay,thanks.Bye.[ClearsThroat]Howdid...[Grunts]-Areyouwearingthe...-TheChanelboots?Yeah,Iam.Youlookgood.-Oh,God.-What?-Shedoes.-Oh,shutup,Serena.-Seeyouguystomorrow.-Goodnight,man.Takeiteasy.Takecareofthatfinger,huh?So,whatdoyouthink?Uh,Ithinkwebettergetoutofhere...beforemygirlfriendseesme.[WomanSinging]-[Continues]-[HornHonking][Continues][CellPhoneRings]-[Continues]-Thegownsarefabulous.Mm-hmm.We/'regonnausetheburgundy.-Gottafind...-[Ends]Sowespentawholesemesteronpotatoesalone.Youtakethefryandsqueezeit.-Seehowfirmthatis?-Hey.Oh,I/'msosorryI/'mlate.Therewasacrisisintheaccessoriesdepartment.-Ineededtofindapythonheadband.-Pythorshotrightnow.Ihaveexcitingpresentsforallofyou.Areyouready?-Whatisthat?-It/'saBang&Olufsenphone.CharlieRosesentittoMirandaforherbirthday.Ilookedituponline.It/'s$1£¬100-What?-Wow!AndIhavesomeproducts.MasonPearsonhairbrushes.-AlittleClinique.-Ooh!-Oh,damnit.Iloveyourjob.-Oh!Onemore.-Alittlething.-[Gasps]-Doyouwantit?Youwant....Oh.-Gimme!Gimme,gimme,gimme!-Ithinkshelikesit.-Oh,myGod!ThisisthenewMarcJacobs!Thisissoldouteverywhere.Wheredidyougetthis?Mirandadidn/'twantit,so...No,no,no,no,no.Thisbagis,like,$1,900.Icannottakethisfromyou.-[Cackles]-Yeah,youcan.-Whydowomenneedsomanybags?-Shutup.Youhaveone.Youputallyourjunkinit,andthat/'sit.You/'redone.Fashionisnotaboututility.Anaccessoryismerelyapieceoficonographyusedtoexpressindividualidentity.-Oh!Andit/'spretty.-Thattoo.Yeah.Butthethingis,itturnsoutthereismoretoRunwaythanjustfancypurses.Look,here/'sanessaybyJayMclnerney,apiecebyJoanDidion.EvenaninterviewwithChristianeAmanpour.-Lookslikesomeone/'sbeendrinkingtheKool-Aid.-Whatdoyou-[CellPhoneRinging]-Igotit.It/'s...Yup,theDragonLady.-Oh,Miranda?-Letmetalktoher.-Ineedthat.-I/'lltellhertogetherownscrambledeggs.Lily,no,no,no!Putthatthingup!Iwasgonnaanswerit!It/'sgonnamake...Givemethe...phone.[Beeps]-[Sputters]-Hi,Miranda.-Ooh.Shh.-Absolutely.-Shh!-Uh-huh.I/'mleavingrightnow.Youknow,youguysdidn/'thavetobesuchassholes.[Rings][Electronica][WomanSinging]Um,excuseme.I/'mlookingforJamesHolt.Um,that/'shimrightthere.-Oh.Thanks.-Noproblem.-Iputmystuffoutthere,andIpraytheyimprove.-Really?-Excuseme.-Hi.I/'mAndy.I/'mpickingupforMirandaPriestly.Oh,yes.YoumustbethenewEmily.-[Chuckling]-Nicetomeetyou.-Oh,letmeseethatbag.Very,verynice.-Ah.Distressed,studdedleather,piecedbyhand,finishedwithametallicfringe.[ClicksTongue]Verynice,indeed.Whomadethatfantasticthing?You.Hmm.Duh.Thisway.Uh,herewego.It/'sasketchofMiranda/'sdressforthebenefit.Alsothecenterpieceofmyspringcollection.Topsecretstuff.-I/'llguarditwithmylife.-Pleasedo.Comeon.You/'reworkingforMirandaPriestlynow.Youmustbeindesperateneedofhardliquor.Excuseus,girls.She/'llhavethepunch.[ClearsThroat]It/'sdeadly.Havefun.[ManSinging]-He/'sright,youknow.-Hmm?Thepunch.IdrankitatJames/'slastparty.IwokeupinHobokenwearingnothingbutaponchoandacowboyhat.-[Continues]-Ah.Well.-Wise.-[Chuckling]-Uh,hi.-ChristianThompson.ChristianThompson?You/'rekidding.No,you/'re...Youwritefor,like,everymagazineIlove.Iactually...Ireviewedyourcollectionofessaysformycollegenewspaper.Didyoumentionmygoodlooksandmykillercharm?-No,but...-Whatdoyoudo?Oh.Well,IwanttoworkforsomewherelikeTheNewYorkerorVanityFair.-Iamawritertoo.-Isthatright?-Mm-hmm.-Ishouldreadyourstuff.Whydon/'tyousenditover?Yeah?Thatwouldbe...Thankyou.Thatwouldbegreat.[Giggling]Butactually,rightnow,I/'mworkingasMirandaPriestly/'sassistant.Oh,you/'rekidding.Well,that/'stoobad.That/'s...Whoa.You/'llneversurviveMiranda.-Excuseme?-Well,youseemnice,smart.Youcan/'tdothatjob.Gottago.Okay.Well,itwasvery,verynicetomeetyou,Mirandagirl.Emily?CallJamesHolt/'soffice.TellthemIwanttomovethepreviewuptotodayat12:30.Telleverybodyelse.Bereadytoleaveinhalfanhour.Butwe/'renotexpecteduntilTuesday.Didshesaywhy?Yes.Yeah,sheexplainedeverydetailofherdecisionmaking.Andthenwebrushedeachother/'shairandgabbedaboutAmericanIdol.Iseeyourpoint.-[Andy]what/'sapreviewanyway?-Goodmorning,Miranda.[Nigel]Mirandainsistsuponseeingallthedesigners/'collections...beforetheyshowthem.-Greattoseeyou.-Hello,James.-[Andy]Andshetellsthemwhatshethinks?-[Nigel]Inherway.Uh,thisseasonreallybeganformewithameditation...ontheintersectionbetweenEastandwest.[Nigel]There/'sascale.Onenodisgood.Twonodsisverygood.There/'sonlybeenoneactualsmileonrecord,andthatwasTomFordin21.Anobibelt.[Nigel]Shedoesn/'tlikeit,sheshakesherhead.Thisisthedressthatwehavedesignedspecificallyandexclusivelyforyou.[Nigel]Then,ofcourse,there/'sthepursingofthelips.[Andy]Whichmeans?[Nigel]Catastrophe.[Whispers]Just,uh...Justgo.-Ijustdon/'tunderstand.I/'mappalled.-It/'sabsurd.Appalled.-Youdealwithit.-I/'lltalktohim.Sobecauseshepursedherlips,he/'sgonnachangehisentirecollection?Youstilldon/'tgetit,doyou?Heropinionistheonlyonethatmatters.-Callmyhusbandandconfirmdinner.-AtPastis?Done.AndI/'llneedachangeofclothes.Well,I/'vealreadymessengeredyouroutfitovertotheshoot.Fine.And,Andrea,IwouldlikeyoutodelivertheBooktomyhometonight.-HaveEmilygiveyouthekey.-Mm-hmm.-Guardthiswithyourlife.-Ofcourse.Youknow,ifIcandelivertheBook,thatmeansImusthavedonesomethingright.I/'mnotapsycho.Oh,and,youknow,shecalledmeAndrea?Imean,shedidn/'tcallmeEmily,whichis...Isn/'tthatgreat?Yeah,whoopee.Right.Now,it/'sveryimportantthatyoudoexactlywhatI/'mabouttotellyou.Oh.Okay.[Emily]TheBookisassembledby10:,10:30...andyoumustwaitaroundforituntilthen.YouwillbedeliveringMiranda/'sdrycleaningwiththeBook.Now,thecarwilltakeyoustraighttoMiranda/'stownouse.Youletyourselfin.Andrea.Youdonottalktoanyone.Donotlookatanyone.Thisisoftheutmostimportance.Youmustbeinvisible.-Doyouunderstand?-Uh-huh.Youopenthedoorandyouwalkacrossthefoyer.Youhangthedrycleaningintheclosetacrossfromthestaircase.-Uh...-AndyouleavetheBookonthetablewiththeflowers.[Panting]-Shit!-[Girl]It/'sthatdoortotheleft.Okay.[Whispers]Thankyou.-YoucangivetheBooktous.-Shh.Which...Whichtable?-It/'sokay.Comeonup.-No,Ican/'t.Ican/'t.-What?It/'sokay.-Comeon.-Yeah,comeon.It/'sokay.-Pleasestoptalking.OryoucanbringtheBookupstairs.Emilydoesitallthetime.Shedoes?Right.Shedoes,allthetime.Yeah?Okay.[Giggling][Miranda]whatdidyouexpectmetodo,walkoutinthemiddleofacovershoot?[Man]Irushedoutofaninvestmentcommitteemeeting...andIsattherewaitingforyouforalmostanhour.Itoldyouthecellphonesdidn/'twork.Nobodycouldgetasignalout.[Man]Iknewwhateveryoneinthatrestaurantwasthinking...thereheis,waitingforheragain.-Okay,okay!Okay,okay.-Oh,no.Shh!Itreallywasrtthatbigadeal.Ipromise.Thetwinssaidhello,soIsaidhelloback.-ThenIwentupthestairstogivehertheBookand...-Youwentupstairs?Oh,myGod.Whydidn/'tyoujustclimbintobedwithherandaskforabedtimestory?Okay,Imadeamistake.Iknow.Andrea,youdon/'tunderstand.Ifyougetfired,thatmightjeopardizeParisforme.Ifthathappens,IwillsearcheveryBlimpie/'sinthetristateareauntilItrackyoudown.She/'sgonnafireme?Idon/'tknow.She/'snothappy.[Miranda]Andrea?[SnapsFingers]Miranda,aboutlastnight,I...IneedthenewHarryPotterbookforthetwins.Okay.Okay.I/'llgodowntoBarnes&Noblerightnow.Didyoufalldownandsmackyourlittleheadonthepavement?NotthatIcanrecall.WehaveallthepublishedHarryPotterbooks.Thetwinswanttoknowwhathappensnext.Youwanttheunpublishedmanuscript?Weknoweveryoneinpublishing.Itshouldn/'tbeaproblem,shouldit?Andyoucandoanything,right?[CellPhoneRings]Yes,Bobbsey.Iknow,baby.Mommy/'sworkingveryhardtogetitforyou.Shedoesn/'tgetit.IcouldcallfrickirJ.K.Rowlingherself.I/'mnotgonnagetacopyofthatbook.Mygirlsareleavingonthetrainfortheirgrandmother/'sat4:...sothebookbetterbeherenolaterthan3:.-Ofcourse!-AndIwouldlikemysteakherein15minutes.Noproblem![Panting]Okay.Ihavefourhourstogettheimpossiblemanuscript.Smith&Wollensky/'sdoesn/'topenuntil11:30.HowamIgonnagetthesteak?Okay.Iwillbebackin15minutes.-Wishmeluck!-No.Shart.Yes,yes,yes,yes.I/'vebeenonhold.It/'sforMirandaPriestly.It/'sveryimportant.Yes,Iknowit/'simpossibletoget...but,well,Iwaswonderingifyoucouldmaketheimpossiblepossible...ifthat/'satallpossible.[Laughing]Yes,I/'mcallingabouttheHarryPottermanuscript.Uh,no.Unpublished.Notachance?Tellherthatit/'sforMirandaPriestly./'CauseIthinkitmakesadifference.Letmecallyouback.Youprobablydon/'trememberme.WemetatJamesHolt/'sparty.I/'mMirandaPriestly/'sassistant.TheHarryPottermanuscript?Oh,you/'rekidding.Uh,sorrytoask,butI/'mdesperate.Justtellheritcan/'tbedone.You/'llhavetocomeupwithaPlan"B."Well,thisisMirandaPriestlywe/'retalkingabout.ThereisnoPlan"B."There/'sonlyPlan"A."Issheback?AmIfired?Irarelysaythistopeoplewhoaren/'tme...butyouhavegottocalmdown.Bloodyhell!Coat,bag.What/'sthat?Oh,Idon/'twantthat.I/'mhavinglunchwithIrv.I/'llbebackat3:.I/'dlikemyStarbuckswaiting.Oh,andifyoudon/'thavethatHarryPotterbookbythen...don/'tevenbothercomingback.[PhoneRings]Hello.Quit?Areyousure?Ifailed.She/'sgonnafiremeanyway.-Imightaswellbeathertothepunch.-Wow.Andy,goodforyou.Congratulations.You/'refree.-Yeah.Well,listen,I/'llcallyoulater.-Okay.-[LineClicks,PhoneRings]-Hello.I/'mbrilliant.No,really.-Monumentsshouldbeerectedinmyhonor.-Youdidn/'t.Oh,yes.Afriendofafrienddoesthecoverart...andshehappenstohavethemanuscript.Oh,no,/'causethatwouldmeanthatIactuallydidsomethingright.[Chuckles]It/'sjust...Oh!Thethingis,Christian,Iwasjust...Look,youwantthisthing,youbetterhurry.I/'llmeetyouattheSt.Regis.-Excuseme.-[HornHonks]-WelcometotheSt.Regis.MayIassistyouwithanything?-Oh.Yes.-Uh,I/'mmeetingsomeoneattheKingColeBar.-Rightthisway.Hi.-Youhaveonehour.-Thankyou.Onecopy.Whataremytwinsgonnadowiththat?Share?Oh,no,Imadetwocopies...andhadthemcovered,resetandboundsothattheywouldn/'tlooklikemanuscripts.Thisisanextracopytohaveonfile.Youknow,justincase.Well,wherearethesefabulouscopies?Idon/'tseethemanywhere.[WhistleBlows][Andy]They/'rewiththetwins,onthetrainonthewaytoGrandma/'s.IsthereanythingelseIcandoforyou?Mm-mmm.That/'sall.Okay.