802 The One With The Red Sweater

802 The One With The Red Sweater Scene: The Hotel Lobby, Rachel and Phoebe are at the front desk checking out.] Rachel: Listen y’know what sir? For the last time, I don’t care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little! Joey: (entering) Hey! Phoebe: Oh! Joey uh, were you in our room last night? Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill! (Chandler and Monica enter.) Chandler: (to the front desk clerk) Hi! We’re checking out of the bridal suite. Monica: (depressed) That’s right. I’m no longer a bride. I’ll never be a bride again. Now, I’m just someone’s wife! Chandler: And I’m the happiest guy in the world! (Monica goes and sits down in a huff.) Oh honey, come on don’t be upset. We still have so much to look forward to! Monica: Oh yeah, right. (Rolls her eyes.) Chandler: We got the honeymoon. Monica: That’s not ‘til Thursday. Chandler: The wedding pictures? Monica: They won’t be ready for weeks. Chandler: Not the disposable cameras from the tables. Monica: That’s true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason! Chandler: I’ll tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home. Monica: Okay. (Joey giggles.) Chandler: What? What did you take a picture of? Joey: Nothing! It was something. Chandler: Okay Ross has the cameras, has he checked out yet? Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not ‘til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left. Chandler: Oh. Monica: Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he had to. Rachel: Yeah, one time, when we were dating, uh we got a late checkout, he got so excited it was the best sex we ever had. Until y’know, he screamed out Radisson at the end. Chandler: Okay, well I’m gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. You’re 32! (Exits) Front Desk Clerk: (To Monica) Here’s a copy of your bill. Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries…Oh my God! I can’t believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night! Joey: Yeah, that’s sad. Mashuga nut? Opening Credits [Scene: Ross’s Hotel Room, he is letting Chandler in.] Ross: Hi. Chandler: Hey. (He sees that Ross is packing all of the hotel toiletries) Soaps? Shampoos? Are you really taking all this stuff? Ross: Why not? It’s built into the price of the room. Chandler: Yeah but you don’t need—(Picks up something)—What is this? Ross: Thread! Chandler: Score! Where are the disposable cameras? Ross: What disposable cameras? Chandler: The cameras? Remember last night I told you to take them? Ross: No you didn’t. Chandler: Yes! Remember? Right before we cut the cake, I went up to you and I said… Ross: Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that. Chandler: So you don’t have the cameras?! Ross: No. Sorry man. Chandler: So? What? What? They’re gone! Monica’s gonna freak! Ross: Well, I’m sure they’re still somewhere here in the hotel. I’ll-I’ll help you look for them. Chandler: Great. Ross: In-in three minutes. (Chandler goes into the bathroom, closes the door, and then opens it again right away. Ross looks up and hands him the toilet paper Ross already packed.) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is entering to see Monica sitting in front of a mound of wedding gifts.] Phoebe: Hey! Monica: Hey! Phoebe: Are you gonna open the presents without Chandler? Monica: No! (Pause) But, they’re callin’ out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldn’t mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is? Phoebe: A little mirror that when you look into it you see yourself as an old woman. (Monica opens it anyways.) Monica: A tiny salt shaker!!! Phoebe: Ohhh! My God! For tiny salt! Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Well that was fun. Phoebe: Oh yeah. Monica: Good. Okay, I’m just gonna wait for Chandler to open the rest of them. Phoebe: Okay. Monica: Whew. Although y’know, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean… I guess y’know it may just count as a half a present. What do you think? Phoebe: Well I guess it’s okay to open one more if it’s part of a set. Y’know, it’s probably this one. (Grabs another small one.) Monica: Or this one! (She grabs and starts to open the biggest present.) Rachel: (entering) Hi. Monica: Hey, how are you feelin’? Any morning sickness? Rachel: Shh-shh-shh! The guys don’t know yet do they? Monica: No! Joey and Ross don’t know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebe’s pregnant. Phoebe: Yeah that’s right Chandler does still think I’m pregnant. He hasn’t asked me how I’m feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course. Rachel: Don’t worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, ‘cause I’m going to tell the father today. Phoebe: Ooh, is it someone in this building? Is it that tall guy from the first floor? Rachel: Ew! No! Phoebe: What?! I think he’s cute. Rachel: Well then you have his baby. Phoebe: Believe me I’m trying. Monica: Wow. Y’know it is so weird. I mean, you’re gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea what’s gonna happen. Phoebe: Yeah. You’re just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever. You’re like Ed McMahon except without the big check, or the raw sexual magnetism. Rachel: Yeah. Uh-huh, I guess it is pretty big news. Phoebe: Pretty big? It’s huge! God, this guy doesn’t have a clue! He’s just walking down the street thinking, ‘I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock!’ then bam! He’s a father and everything’s different. Rachel: Well it’s only different if he wants it to be. I mean, I’m not gonna ask him for anything. Phoebe: Okay. Then he still has this huge decision to make. Now he’s walking around thinking, ‘Do I want to be a dad?’ and then bam! Monica: What was that bam? Phoebe: I don’t. He got…he-he-he-he’s hit by a bus. Joey: (entering) Hey! Rachel: Hey Joey, what would you do if someone that you slept with told you that she was pregnant? Joey: (warily) Who called here? Did she sound blond? Huh? Did-did-did she have an accent? I gotta make a call! (Starts to leave) I shoulda never walked into that Sunglass Hut! Rachel: Oh Joey! Joey! No, it’s not you! You didn’t get anybody pregnant! Joey: Oh. Why would you scare me like that? What the hell is going on? (Pause.) Is somebody pregnant? Phoebe: Oh yeah. That’s me. Joey: Oh my God Pheebs! You’re gonna have a baby? Phoebe: Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, I’m gonna have a baby! (Joey and Phoebe hug.) Joey: Whoa, wait a minute. Who’s the father? Phoebe: You don’t know him. It’s not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like she’s pregnant.) Joey: Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? ‘Cause I will track him down and kick his ass! Phoebe: David Lynn. Joey: David Lynn! David Lynn! David Lynn!! (Exits) Monica: Who’s David Lynn? Phoebe: Oh some guy from my gym. A little annoying. [Scene: The Banquet Room, Chandler is under one of the tables as Ross enters.] Ross: Chandler? Chandler: Hey! Did you find the cameras? Ross: No. Did you? Chandler: Yes! And that’s why I’m under the table. Celebrating. Ross: Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-one’s turned them. Chandler: Well this is great. Y’know, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, she’s really depressed. Ross: Now you guys just got married, why is she so depressed? Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I can’t believe I screwed this up! Ross: I’m sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Here’s a thought. This is the same ballroom. There’s a band. There’s gonna be plenty of dressed up people. Chandler: Are you suggesting we dance our troubles away? Ross: No-no-no, I’m saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody else’s faces. Chandler: Are you serious? Ross: I’m just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do-do you really want to start your life together by letting her down? Chandler: Marriage advice? Really?! Ross: I’m telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding! Aren’t these the same flowers? Chandler: I don’t know, Monica picked out the flowers. Ross: What about the chairs? Chandler: She picked those out too. Ross: How about the place settings? Chandler: That was her. Ross: What did you do? Chandler: I was in charge of the cameras! Gift shop? Ross: Hmm. (They head off to the gift shop.) [Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting on the couch as Phoebe enters.] Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, did you do it yet? Rachel: Not yet. Phoebe: Oh, well what are you doing here? Are you about to do it? (Gasps) Is it Gunther? Rachel: No! Phoebe, it’s not Gunther. Phoebe: Thank God, ‘cause that hair on a baby… Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I haven’t told him yet and I don’t think I can tell him at all now! Phoebe: Why not? Rachel: I don’t know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, ‘I’m gonna tell the father today’ and then bam! Phoebe: Bus? Rachel: No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is! Phoebe: Well-well but it is huge. Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didn’t even go to how huge this was going to be for the father. Phoebe: You’re thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. It’s like, it’s like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of…See? [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Obsessive Monica has now opened more of the wedding gifts.] Joey: (entering) Ooh-ooh-ooh! Are we opening presents? Monica: No! No! I shouldn’t have even opened these! I mean I—Joey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay? Joey: Okay. Monica: Give me one more. Joey: Okay. (Hands her one.) Phoebe: (entering) Hey. Joey: Oh good, uh you’re here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say. Phoebe: All right. (She sits down like she’s pregnant again.) Joey: Umm, now uh… It’s a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Y’know, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so… (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me? Monica: Oh my God! Joey! Phoebe: Hell yeah! I’ll marry you! (She grabs the ring and puts it on.) Monica: You can’t marry him! Phoebe: Hey lady, your day’s over! It’s my turn! Monica: Phoebe! Joey: Why?! Why can’t she marry me?! Phoebe: I can and I will! (Kisses him.) Monica: She’s not pregnant. It’s Rachel. Rachel’s the one who’s pregnant. Joey: Oh my God. Phoebe: Hey! Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didn’t have a baby in nine months! Phoebe: It’s Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths ‘I love you’ to him.) Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I can’t believe it! What? Rachel’s pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Who’s the father? Phoebe: We don’t know. Joey: Ohh… I wonder if that dude. Monica: There’s a dude? Joey: Yeah. Phoebe: Who? Who is it? Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didn’t see who it was but… (He walks out and closes the door.) Phoebe: Was that story over? (They follow him and meet him in the hall coming out of his apartment carrying a sweater.) Joey: The guy left this. Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! I know who the father is… (She walks into Monica and Chandler’s.) Monica: People have got to finish their stories! Commercial Break [Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross and Chandler are in their tuxes and have started to fake the pictures.] Chandler: (to another couple) Uh, excuse me? Could you take a picture of us? Woman At The Wedding: Oh! Of course. (Ross and Chandler pose and she takes the picture.) Man At The Wedding: Uh, would you take one of us? Chandler: Uhh… Yeah sure. (Holds the camera up to his face.) Click! Woman At The Wedding: It didn’t click. Ross: I heard it. I heard it. Man At The Wedding: But there was no flash. Woman At The Wedding: Why won’t you take our picture? Chandler: Oh yeah. I’ll take, I’ll take your picture. (He takes the picture with his finger over the lens.) Man At The Wedding: Uh, your finger was covering the lens. Chandler: Who are you? Ansel Adams?! Get outta here! [Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are about to go inside.] Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go! Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is? Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but I’m a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that won’t quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby. Rachel: Oh God… Oh, he’s in there right now? Phoebe: Uh-huh. Now you can turn around or you can go in there and rip the Band-Aid off. What to you want to do? Rachel: Uh, let’s rip! Phoebe: Really? Are you sure? Rachel: Oh Phoebe! Phoebe: Okay, sorry. Yeah. (They go inside to confront the father.) Tag: Hey Rach. [Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross is taking a picture of a plant, Chandler a fork. The band stops.] Chandler: Why don’t you go up on stage. I’ll get a picture of you doing the speech. Ross: Okay. Okay! (He goes up on stage, mimes like he's giving the speech, and Chandler takes his picture. However, before he gets down everyone starts clinking their glasses for a real speech.) Ross: Will the owner of a 1995 Buick LeSabre please see the front desk? Your car is about to be towed. Anxious Wedding Guest: (rushing up) That’s my car! Ross: A ’95 LeSabre?! Anxious Wedding Guest: Yes! Ross: A green LeSabre? Anxious Wedding Guest: Yes! Ross: I’m sorry, I meant a blue LeSabre. Anxious Wedding Guest: Yes! Green-blue! Ross: Well go! Go move it! (He runs off.) Chandler: Okay, you ready for the last picture? Ross: Yeah. Chandler: Get ready to run. (Chandler walks over to the new bride.) Congratulations on your wedding. (He grabs her, kisses her, Ross takes the picture, and they both run out.) [Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier.] Tag: So, what’s this about? Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater. Tag: No. (Unzips his coat.) This is my red sweater. Phoebe: Oh no. Could I get anyone a coffee or…poison? No? Just for me? Okay. (Walks away.) Tag: What’s going on Rach? Rachel: Nothing! Phoebe kinda made a mistake. But y’know you do wear that sweater a lot, are you involved in some kind of dare? Tag: Y’know, I’m actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasn’t mature enough, but I’ve really grown up and think we should get back together. Rachel: Oh, it’s just not the right time. Tag: It is the right time. (Takes her hand.) Rachel: Okay. Tag: I’m ready for more. Rachel: Tag… Tag: Come on Rach, let’s give it another try. Rachel: I’m having a baby. Tag: Oh. (He drops her hand.) (Pause) Rachel: You can go. Tag: Thank you. (Gets up and hurries out.) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Obsessive Monica has finished opening all the presents. She’s ashamed of this, at least, because as someone enters…] Monica: (throwing up the last present) I don’t know how any of these got opened?! Joey: (entering) You opened them all? Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again! Joey: Oh hey! You got my parent’s gift! (Holds it up.) Monica: Yeah. What is that? Joey: Well, I don’t know. I think it does something to salami. (Phoebe and Rachel enter.) Monica: Hey! How’d it go? Joey: Yeah. What-what did Tag say? Rachel: Tag is not the father! And Joey knows now? Joey: I do Rach. I do, and I so happy for you. (They hug.) Rachel: Oh wow, you didn’t even try to unhook my bra! Monica: So are you ever gonna tell whoever it is? Rachel: No, I will. I’m just not up for it tonight. Joey: Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know you’re not gonna be alone in this. Rachel: I’m not? Joey: Listen I uh… (He takes her hand.) It’s a scary world out there especially if you’re a single mom. Y’know, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Y’know? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me? Rachel: What? Monica: What?! Phoebe: What?!! Joey: Pheebs, give me the ring back! Phoebe: No!! Rachel: No! Joey, oh you’re so sweet. You’re so-so sweet, honey. But I’m not, I’m not looking for a husband. Joey: (heartbroken) I understand. Rachel: Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go and lie down. (Exits.) Phoebe: I can’t say that didn’t hurt. But I’ll take you back Joey Tribbiani. Joey: Uh yeah. Pheebs, listen about that. I only offered… Phoebe: Ooh! A Salami Buddy! Joey: There you go! (Chandler and Ross enter with the new pictures.) Chandler: We’re back! Monica: Great! We’re hangin’ in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Let’s stay in the kitchen! Chandler: It’s picture time. Ross: Now you are going to love these. Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Here’s a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And that’s me. (Another one.) And that’s me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple. Monica: Wow! That is a great picture! Chandler: Eh? Monica: Yeah! Oh and interesting because I found the cameras in one of our bags! (Throws them into his chest.) Ross: Huh, didn’t see that coming. Chandler: Okay, so this isn’t a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with…with this lady. Which by the look on your face I’m sure you’ll remember. So we don’t need—(Rips the picture)—There’s no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now. Monica: That would be a good idea. Chandler: Okay. (Sees the living room.) You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together! Monica: You kissed another woman! Chandler: Call it even?! Monica: Okay! (They high-five and he walks out.) Ross: Well, I’m gonna go get these (the floral bouquet he walked in with) in some water. Phoebe: Wait you stole those from these people’s wedding? Ross: No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. (Starts to leave.) Hey! My sweater! I’ve been looking for this for like a month! (He exits leaving a stunned Phoebe and Monica.) Monica and Phoebe: Oh my God!! Joey: (slow on the uptake) Oh my God! Closing Credits [Scene: A Street, Ross walks past Tag wearing the same red sweater.] Ross: Hey! How you doing? Tag: Good! Good, long time no see. Ross: Yeah. Tag: Like your sweater. Ross: Oh hey, right back at ya. Tag: Oh, it’s crazy about Rachel huh? Ross: Yeah. She—Well, she’s one crazy lady? Tag: So whose is it? Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I don’t some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later. Tag: Okay. (They separate.) Ross: He is so weird. End 802 红毛线衫 听着，先生 最后一遍告诉你， 我不在乎电脑记录。 我们没从迷你酒吧拿吃的 我们也没看色情电影 嗨 噢乔依，昨晚上你在我们房间吗 没有。 不是说电影名字 不会出现在收费单上吗？ 你好. 我们刚住完婚礼套房. 是的. 我不再是个新娘了. 永无机会再当新娘. 现在，我只是某人的妻子了. 而我则是世界上最幸福的男人。 噢，亲爱的，别这样. 别难过. 我们还有许多事值得期待 噢，是呀. 我们会度蜜月。 噢，那要到礼拜四呢. 婚礼照片. 要好几周才弄得好. 一次性相机，可不用等那么久 对！我就知道没白嫁给你 我等会拿去冲印，你先回家。 好的 什么？你拍的是什么？ 空白的。 本该有 内容 财务内部控制制度的内容财务内部控制制度的内容人员招聘与配置的内容项目成本控制的内容消防安全演练内容 ，不是吗？啊？ 呃，罗斯拿着照相机 他结帐走人了吗？ 你开玩笑吧? 不，我没有. 中午才是结帐时间，他还有11分钟 所以? 所以， 罗斯不到万不得已、从不提前结帐 嗯。有次我们约会就结帐晚了。 他太兴奋了。 那是我们做爱最美妙的一次。 最后他尖叫"Radisson" （酒店名） 唔，好吧。 我去找罗斯把他照相机里的胶卷拿去冲印。 32，乔依 你是32房的 这是你的帐单. 噢，谢谢 香槟，草莓. 噢，上帝! 真难以置信，钱德点了色情电视， 在我们的婚礼当晚！ 真悲哀 还点了Meshuga nut? 嗨 嗨 肥皂，香波? 你全都带走？ 为什么不呢? 房间价格包含这些东西 是，但你并不需要它们呀... 这是什么? 线. 答对了 一次性相机哪去了? 一次性相机? 相机，记得吗， 昨晚我让你把它带好. 不，你没说. 不，我说了，想起来了吗? 就在我们切蛋糕前，我走到你那， 对你说的…… 噢，是啊. 你走近我，问我能否帮个忙 接着我叔叔默里走到你跟前， 把帐单递给了你 接着你说：“他们干嘛称这是帐单， 而不叫‘南斯拉夫’?" 嗯，然后你就偷笑 那么，你是没拿相机咯? 没有，抱歉，伙计 那怎么办呢？照片没了? 莫妮卡要发狂了 嗯，我肯定相机还在饭店里 我来帮你找。 太好了 嗯，再等三分钟. 嗨. 嗨. 钱德都不在，你就想拆开礼物吗? 不 这只是，呃，你知道的，这…… 嗯，他们在叫我拆呢. 我说，这小家伙爬到我腿上呢. 噢，我只打开这个礼物， 钱德是不会生气的。 你说，这会是什么呢? 一块小镜子，这样的话， 你照镜子时会发现自己是个老女人 是个小盐瓶! 噢！ 上帝啊，装那些小小的盐粒. 噢，好啊. 嗯，这很有意思. 嗯，是的。 那很有意思。 嗯，我就等钱德回来， 一起打开其余的礼物了 好的。 吆! 虽然，这是一部分 装盐、胡椒粉 我猜，那个礼物可能还有另一半。 你怎么认为? 嗯，我想如果是一套的话， 我们可以再拆开一个看看。 我看，很有可能是这一个。 或者这个 嗨 嗨，你感觉怎么样？ 你早晨吐了吗? 嘘! 他们还不知道呢，是吧？ 是的。 乔依和罗斯什么都不知道。 钱德还以为怀孕的是菲比 噢. 是啊。钱德的确以为是我怀孕了. 但他不问我的感受，也不帮我提包 噢，我真为将和他终老的女人难过 当然，是在你之后 别担心，这黑锅你再背几小时就够了 因为，今天我要去跟孩子的爸爸摊牌 噢，那人在这栋房子里吗? 是一楼那个高个儿男人吗 噢——不是！ 哦？我认为他很可爱。 呵，那么你去怀他的孩子。 相信我，我正在努力。 你看，这真古怪 我是说， 你今天就要去告诉那个男人了， 而他却一点都不清楚会发生什么 他不知道 是呀 你即将走过去敲他家的门，然后 从此改变他的生活。 你就像爱德·麦克（名主持人）， 不过你没钱 （对我）也缺乏原始的性吸引力 唔，我想这可是条大新闻 大？是很重大. 上帝，这家伙一无所知 他只是走在街上想着 “我跟瑞秋发生关系了" 然后，砰 他变了父亲，一切都不同了 他愿意才会不同。 我意思是，我不会向他提出任何 要求 对教师党员的评价套管和固井爆破片与爆破装置仓库管理基本要求三甲医院都需要复审吗 好吧，可是，他仍然得做重要的决定 接着他团团转、想着， 我想当爸爸吗 然后，砰 那是什么？砰！ 我不知道。他，他被车撞了之类 嗨. 嗨. 你好，乔依，如果一个曾跟你发生关系的人 告诉你她怀孕了。你会怎样做？ 谁打过电话来? 听起来象金发女郎吗? 哈？她有口音吗? 我得去打个电话了。 我根本不该去Sunglass Hut零售店。 乔依……乔依 没说你. 你没让谁怀孕. 噢。 你干吗这么吓唬我? 到底出了什么事? 谁怀孕了吗? 噢，是的，我. 噢，上帝啊，菲比! 你就要有个孩子了? 是的 噢，天哪。 我就要生孩子了! 等等. 父亲是谁? 你不认识他. 那不重要。 他不想跟我或孩子有牵扯 哼，这家伙是谁? 他是谁？ 我会找到他，然后踢他的屁股 大卫· 林恩 大卫· 林恩是谁? 是跟我一个体育馆的人. 有点讨厌. 钱德? 喂，你找到相机了吗? 没有。你呢? 我找到了. 所以我才在桌子下面————庆祝 嗯，我去失物招领处询问过了。 我跟经理谈了。 但是没人捡到. 嗯，这太好了. 这是今天唯一能让莫尼卡高兴的事了 她相当沮丧。 可你们刚结婚 她干吗不高兴? 我努力不想这个问 题 快递公司问题件快递公司问题件货款处理关于圆的周长面积重点题型关于解方程组的题及答案关于南海问题 . 真难相信我竟然把相机搞丢了 抱歉，伙计. 有办法了 这是同一个舞厅. 有个乐队. 会有许多盛装的人. 你建议我们跳舞来忘掉烦恼? 噢，不，不. 我是说， 我们等会去礼品商店买点胶卷 套上咱们的晚礼服，再拍几张照片. 我们要做的就是别把别人拍进去. 你没开玩笑？ 我只是想到你家里新婚的妻子。 你真想让你们的共同生活从失望开始? 婚姻建议? 真的吗? 这看起来很象你的婚礼 这些花都是一样的吗? 我不知道。是莫尼卡挑的花。 嗯，那么椅子呢? 也是她挑的. 地方呢？ 还是她选的. 那你做什么了? 我保管相机. 礼品商店? 嗯. 喂. 噢，你说了吗? 还没有. 噢. 唔，那你在这干吗？ 你准备好去说了吗? 是阿甘吗? 不. 不是阿甘. 感谢上帝，我可不想孩子长那样的头发 菲比，孩子的父亲不在这，知道吗? 我没告诉他，我现在根本不能告诉他 为什么不? 我不知道. 我在路上边走边想 我今天就去告诉他，然后，砰! 巴士? 不，你. 菲比，你让我产生错觉. 你一直在说这多严重。 嗯，但它确实严重. 我知道，但我只是在想， 对我来说它有多重要。 我从没想过对于这个父亲来说， 这多重要。 你想得太多了 告诉他，作个了断 就像撕开这块邦迪。 看，快而且不疼。 天啊…… 明白了？ 噢…… 我们来拆礼物吗? 不，不。我们不该拆礼物 乔依，我失去控制了! 乔依，帮我个忙吧。 不过我说什么，做什么 请别让我再打开一个礼物了 好不好? 好的. 再给我一个. 好. 喂 噢，好呀——你在这. 唔，菲比，听着，坐下. 有些话我想对你说 好吧。 嗯…… 世道凶险 尤其对单身妈妈来说. 我总是觉得你和我，有一种—— 特殊的纽带，因此—— 菲比· 芭菲，你能嫁给我吗？ 噢，上帝啊. 乔依…… 好，我嫁你. 你不能嫁给他. 喂，女士！你风光过了 现在轮到我了. 菲比…… 什么？她为什么不能嫁给我? 我能嫁，而且我愿嫁。 她没怀孕. 是瑞秋. 怀孕的是瑞秋，明白了？ 噢，天哪！ 喂! 9个月后你不生孩子， 我想他会发现的 他是乔依. 我没法相信 瑞秋怀孕了? 啊哈. 是的. 好，那谁是孩子的爸爸? 我们不知道. 噢! 我琢磨着会不会是那个花花公子? 有个花花公子? 是. 是?是谁？ 大约一个月以前， 那家伙跟瑞秋过了一夜l. 呃，我不知那是谁，但…… 这事完了吗? 那家伙离开了. 噢，上帝。我知道孩子的爸爸是谁 说话不许只讲一半！ 嗯，打搅一下. 请帮我们拍张照片，好吗? 噢，当然. 呃，能给我们拍一张吗? 嗯，没问题. 按. 它没响. 我听到它响了。 听到了？ 我听到了。 但是没闪光. 你为什么不拍? 噢，我马上拍, 我会给你们拍照片的. 唔，你的手指盖住镜头了. 你当你是谁？安塞尔· 亚当斯（名摄影师）?! 出去! 抱歉以前给你心理压力 所以，我打电话给孩子的父亲， 让他来见你，你告诉他 走. 等，喂，等等. 菲比，你怎么知道那孩子的爸爸是谁? 我也许有时干傻事，但是…… 别只把我当成个大屁股的金发美女 我想这毛衣是孩子的爸爸的 噢，上帝。 噢，他现在在那吗? 嗯. 现在，你要么放弃，要么去撕开邦迪 你想干什么? 唔…… 撕开它 真的？你肯定? 噢，菲比. 嗯，对不起. 嗨，瑞秋 你为什么不到讲台上? 我给你拍张演讲的照片. 好的，好的。 那辆95年别克房车的车主在吗？ 请到柜台处 你的车要被拖走了. 那是我的车. 一辆95年的房车？ 是的. 是辆绿色的? 是的 噢，抱歉，我是说蓝色的. 是，蓝绿色. 好的，走吧. 去把它开走! 好的。准备好拍压轴照片了吗? 行了。 准备好发动了. 祝贺你们结婚. 干什么？ 瑞秋有些事想告诉你 嗯，我想这是你那件红色羊毛衫。 不 这是我的红色羊毛衫. 噢，不. 你们谁要咖啡，或者……？ 毒药？不？就给我？ 好的. 然后呢，瑞秋? 没什么. 菲比犯了点小错. 但是，你经常穿那件毛衣。 所以被卷入这场误会 菲比打来电话，我很高兴 我们分手是因为， 你认为我不够成熟。 但是我长大了， 我们应该重修旧好 噢，不是时候 是时候了. 嗯。 我还有进一步的准备 Tag…… 瑞秋，再给我一次机会 我有孩子了。 噢！ 你可以走了. 谢谢你. 我不知道这里头有多少打开过了 你全都打开了? 我知道！我很糟糕 钱德不会再相信我了 噢，嗨，你拿了我父母的礼物 嗯，那是什么? 我不知道。大概是某种意大利腊肠 喂，它们放在哪? 嗯，Tag在哪？ Tag不是父亲. 乔依现在知道了吗? 瑞秋，我为你感到高兴 哇噢，你甚至不打算解下我胸罩. 你打算告诉我们谁是父亲吗? 是的，我会说. 只是不打算在今晚 嘿，瑞秋，不管那家伙说什么 我想让你知道，在这世上， 你不孤独 我不是吗? 不. 听着，我，嗯…… 世道凶险 尤其对单身妈妈来说。. 啊，乔依…… 嗯, 我总是觉得你和我之间， 有一种特殊的纽带,你知道？ 因此，瑞秋· 格林， 你愿意嫁给我吗？ 啊? 什么? 什么?! 菲比，把戒指还给我. 不! 乔依，噢，你真可爱. 你真太可爱了，甜心. 但是我不需要一个丈夫. 我知道. 如果你不介意，我得去躺会了. 我受伤了 但是我会还给你的，乔依·崔白尼 嗯，是的，听我说，菲比，关于那个 噢，是.意大利腊肠!朋友！ 成了. 我们回来了. 太好了！你在厨房 我们就待在厨房. 欣赏照片时间. 你会喜欢它们的. 这个是罗斯的照片…… 那是我 我和罗斯. 噢，这是我们成为夫妻后的初吻 喔，棒极了，这张照片 嗯? 是的. 而且还很有趣， 我在我们的一个包里发现了相机 真没想到 嗯，所以那不是我们婚后的第一个吻 而是我跟这位小姐的第一个吻 从你脸上我能看出你会记得的， 所以我们不需要它了…… 没必要保留……不如我们…… 现在来拍点真正的照片， 再马上把它们冲印出来，你看怎样? 这是个好主意. 好的. 我不在时，你打开了所有的礼物? 我以为我们该一起拆礼物 你吻了另一个女人？ 扯平？ 好吧. 嗯，我要去把这些放在水里. 你从别人的婚礼上偷东西? 不，我从酒店大堂里拿的. 他们想让我为莫须有的 色情电影和一袋Meshuga nuts付钱 得给他们点教训 啊，我的羊毛衫. 我已经找它找了一个月了 噢，上帝! 噢，上帝! 噢，上帝! 嗨，你过得怎样? 很好，很好。 好久不见了。 是呀。 我喜欢你的羊毛衫； 噢，嗨，你穿着正好。 瑞秋真疯狂，是吗? 呃，是的，她是个疯狂的女人。 那么，是谁的? 不清楚，某个意大利牌子？ 得了，看看你自己衣服上的牌子好了 再见. 好的. 他真古怪.