郭德纲德云社相声文本-我的大学生活（Guo Degang Deyunshe - my university life comic text）

郭德纲德云社相声文本-我的大学生活（Guo Degang Deyunshe - my university life comic text） 郭德纲德云社相声文本-我的大学生活(Guo Degang Deyunshe - my university life comic text) Crosstalk text, crosstalk, "my college life" Performer: Guo Degang, Xu Deliang Guo: back to Peking University, I am very pleased, I also Peking University, I am Beijing Daxing Xu (singing): will you think of the diary you wrote yesterday? Guo: here comes the trouble Xu (singing): are you still thinking about your favorite crying tomorrow? Guo: very fragile when he was a child Xu (singing): the teachers can not remember, ever loved crying you Guo: it's crying Xu (singing): I also accidentally turn photos, just think of you at the same table Guo: sitting together Xu (singing): who married you sentimental? Guo: I can't stand it at first Xu (singing): who read your diary? Guo: looking at the diary, I told him to go Xu (singing): who will make your long offer? Guo: this eye can't be a singer Xu (singing): who does your wedding Guo: I bought it myself Xu: university life, so far away Guo: everyone has a day to graduate Xu: you're gone too Guo: I'm far away from the madman Xu: how I miss your hair, my feeling on my chest Guo: I'm killing you I remember, no one in the campus, you let me back your friendship Guo: just your little physique Xu: I want to say a word to you Guo: Speaking Xu: I love you Guo: Brokeback Mountain? Xu: I want to kiss you for the last time Guo: take a basin. I want to vomit Xu: what are you doing? Guo: you're disgusting Xu: what I'm doing is going back to a certain period of time Guo: ah Xu: make a memorial ceremony for youth Guo: Memorial, this word is very magnanimous. What do you pay homage to? Xu: my college life Guo: went to College Xu: I love my sacrifice Guo: speaking and reading poems Xu: for the first time, I was walking on the campus of the University Guo: never let it go in Xu: that's for me to report Guo: Oh, the first day Xu: the first time I walked on the main road of the university campus, looking at the banners coming on my face, I was very excited Guo: Oh Xu: a little trembling with excitement Guo: is it to welcome new students to enter school? Xu: carry out deratization campaign Guo: the trembling on, this is called the public Xu: you are the mouse? Guo: this word is not listening Xu: so my college life begins Guo: go ahead Xu: at the same time, I only try Guo: why? Xu: Learning Guo: that's the class Xu: my study is influenced by our dormitory boss, Guo: Oh, the boss likes to go to school very much Xu: painstaking scholarship Guo: a good student or more? Xu: very fond of learning Guo: there was a good result Xu: so his life is full of academic terms Guo: that can't be done Xu: once a bad eye, the Colonel's Hospital: doctor, my eyes, this light projected onto the object, and then reflected to my When the pupil on the side of the object in the body always produces a peer-to-peer like Guo: it's complicated Xu: and this image is not separate from this body, Guo: good Xu: instead, it presents a phenomenon of intersection Guo: Yes Xu: the doctor thought for a long time: you see the shadow of the thing, right? Yes, yes Guo: if I were a doctor, I wouldn't have to fight Xu: the general ability of the doctor is very strong Guo: This is called generalization ability, which is what Chinese people say Xu: I was influenced by our dormitory boss Guo: I don't think you speak like him Xu: I'm good at learning Guo: Yes, it is I learn to learn the evening morning afternoon, eat sleep with dreams to learn learn learn Guo: Hey, look at the others. That's a good result Xu: not so good. Unfortunately, when I was sophomore, my interest shifted Guo: ah? To sophomore, interest shifted, what do you like? Xu: that big one is four high, Guo: Yes Xu: who is good at learning? Guo: Well, tell me about it. I didn't go to school. I didn't know it very well Xu: I like sports Guo: Hey, have a good body Xu: This is affected by the second in our dormitory Guo: the eldest brother of his brother Xu: well! Guo: brothers can go together is not easy Xu: he's from Beijing, Guo: Oh Xu: Beijing people live on that safe road Guo: I know Xu: Beijing four know? Guo: I know Xu: on the opposite side of the fourth playground in Beijing Guo: I bought at the door to eat popsicles Xu: just stay there Guo: good Xu: he goes back to see the ball every weekend Guo: Uh huh Xu: his fans, we are fans all over the room, Guo: Yes Xu: but there is no TV in our dormitory Guo: oh! It's a tough day for the dorm Xu: we speak with the ball when he came back, we are greedy ah, sad ah Guo: that's right Xu: I go back on that day, he was sitting in the dormitory, unrestrained and frank to take that Guo: what's wrong? Xu: it is the centre of McCain: Oh good, a left foot right foot along with a turn button, even had two forwards! Guo: Look! Xu: a midfielder to go Guo: Yes Xu: I'm listening. What's this ball? Serie A? Guo: not Xu: Premier League? Guo: not necessarily Xu: yesterday no ball ah Guo: just say ah Xu: listen to it. Guo: listen to people say Bai Xu: still the McCain: Ooh, this man is also strong midfield ah, a cross line, winger immediate impact, with a trip over the line. Guo: Uh huh! Xu: straight corner kick, corner kick is high and floating, forward forward, when a head Guo: the ball is coming Xu: No. Guo: what? Xu: let the goalkeeper seal it out Guo: Look! Xu: seal out, it doesn't matter, how far has not sealed? Guo: Uh huh Xu: the foot of our striker is still left. When the left foot is buttoned, the right foot is a foot, the world wave Guo: my God, would you wait a minute and wait for a moment, world wave? Xu: world wave! Guo: Oh, you can explain this Xu: people in the world can not play such a beautiful arc, huh?! Guo: Oh, such a great ability Xu: the world wave, when it is a kick, hit the post Guo: how do you do this? And then come again Xu: again to his feet Guo: Well, there's plenty of time Xu: left right, disk keeper. Guo: Uh huh Xu: Kongmen! Guo: Well, look Xu: heels into the Guo: make so much strength Xu: Unfortunately, he didn't shoot Guo: what? Xu: Well, a dozen bell bells, they don't play Guo: Oh, junior high school students play football Xu: anyway, I was very influenced by him Guo: you look at this a naomenzi sweat sell enough strength Xu: I play in the morning, play in the afternoon and play in the evening, Guo: that's a good body Xu: No, by the third year, my interest shifted again Guo: Ooh, again, what was it love? Xu 3: ah, my first awakening interest in the opposite sex Guo: I know, I like men Xu: it? Ah? To love the man more like you Guo: Junior talent be wary to say you want to change, I believe that children Xu: so before I, I used to like women too Guo: later, he liked men Xu: No, I used to like girls Guo: now like men Xu: don't beat me around, OK? I used to like women, but I didn't pursue them Guo: Yes Xu: I dare to pursue female classmates in junior middle school Guo: what a big thing it is Xu: influenced by the third of our dormitory Guo: Oh, the second brother Xu: Why are all brothers? Guo: the eldest and youngest, three brothers entered together is not easy Xu: we are a dormitory Guo: Oh, that's how it came Xu: they are all brothers Guo: Well you see, do not have water Xu: Lover ah Guo: willing to remain, not always show his face Xu: love, my lover, when he was twenty-one, he let a woman dumped twenty-eight Guo: it's stronger than me. I made ten yellow and more than 20 pieces that year Xu: he has a lot of experience Guo: learning from others Xu: yes. I fell in love with a girl in Chinese Department Guo: how old is it? Xu: very beautiful Guo: beautiful Xu: more than 20 years old Guo: Look! Xu: but I am. I dare not speak to her Guo: you have to build up your guts Xu: when we have taught me. Guo: what do you mean? Xu: you don't have any experience Guo: Well, learn from others Xu: you have to talk to girls, you know? Accosted! Guo: Yes, it is translated into Chinese. Xu: anyway, that's what it means Guo: Uh huh Xu: you don't know how you ask people Guo: look for words Xu: follow me Guo: learn from him Xu: she walks ahead. You walk behind Guo: EH Xu: when you see nobody Guo: Uh huh Xu: you find something, you have nothing on the body, you pick up something casually from the ground, ask her in the past: "classmate, you dropped it?" Guo: that's a way Xu: don't you know that? Guo: good idea Xu: that's a good idea Guo: Uh huh I met her in the next. Guo: it begins Xu: she's walking in the front Guo: Uh huh Xu: I'm following behind Guo: that's right Xu: I said to myself, "calm down." Guo: calm down Xu: courage, courage! Guo: take a little more Xu: have the courage! I patted her shoulder: "classmate, is this brick you dropped?" Guo: don't mention it. There's nothing else to pick up on the ground! Xu: she snatched up the brick and patted me Guo: Yes, the student later became a monk named Lu Zhishen, and she also played a classmate called Kansai town Xu: never heard of, now the girls are so tough, sassy. Guo: Oh, very good, a very spiritual. Xu: it is quite a spirit, although this time did not succeed, but since then, the campus is full of girls and I approached the figure Guo: you introduce this scene with Xu: classmate, is this spade you dropped? Guo: This is an undergraduate with spades. Yeah, shoot him in the dead Xu: classmate, did you drop this table? Guo: the pocket is too small to hold, right, call him dead Xu: classmate, is this isolation pier lost by you? Guo: you don't have the strength to take up arms? Yes, just write the tablet directly Xu: I'm not discouraged! Guo: Yes, you are dead! You go to the construction site, let the object go! Isolation pier classmate, this building you dropped it? Huh? Xu: I've been beaten by a lot of them Guo: who doesn't play? Who regrets? Xu: but I'm not discouraged Guo: This is called the shame not impatient! Xu: last time, I saw a beauty in the chemistry lab.. Guo: he's in the chemistry lab. He's not busy Xu: in front of her, I picked up a test tube on the desk: classmate! Guo: Speaking Xu: nothing Guo: what? Xu: aqua regia Guo: ooh! Next time you don't go behind her, you go ahead of her, and you can't just walk the dog Xu: nothing next time. That's the next time Guo: what ah Xu: classmate ~! Guo: that's sulfuric acid splashed on your face Xu: have you dropped the paper money? Guo: I say haunted!! Wang Shuitai is fierce. It's said that even gold can be made Xu: until the end of the fourth year Guo: Senior 4 Xu: I still sing my single love song, walk on the campus without love, and be stubborn to think of yourself as a baby Guo: how can it be a baby? Xu: 4 is still a virgin is not a baby? Guo: Yeah, yeah, it's a lot harder than finding a dinosaur Xu: the fourth is going to be over soon Guo: graduating soon Xu: the credits are almost the same Guo: that's right Xu: the job is nowhere to go Guo: yo! Xu: it's very stressful Guo: hurry too Xu: there are one or two families Guo: not too much Xu: we don't go to class. We have a lot of our own things. The teacher quit Guo: what? Xu: call it next time! Guo: Yes Xu: that morning, I slept in a dazely, I had: ah, wakes up, dude, today I have to interview, call for I promise Guo: why do you have to go to the interview? Xu: looking for a job! Guo: Oh Xu: it's very stressful Guo: that's right Xu: Hey, buddy buddy, my class, I was just on today, I can't leave Guo: Yes Xu: please promise me Guo: you have to do it for him Xu: Hey, dude, I go to work. I can't ask for leave. Please promise me Guo: Yes, you have nothing to do except the dormitory Xu: Liang Liang, in fact, on the metaphysics of Ontology Guo: this man, I know, just said it once again Xu: I want to go to class Guo: it can be understood Xu: but yesterday, twelve or thirteen hours ago Guo: how accurate? Xu: that's when I eat Guo: when you eat Xu: it's time for me to use water and protein to supplement food Guo: it's too detailed Xu: there's a gas coming down the mouth into the abdominal cavity Guo: don't eat out Xu: so tonight, I, I, I, I, my lower part of the lower abdomen, there is a burst of pain, like the feeling of pain, this morning up, this feeling is more and more obvious, more and more obvious............ Pull away! Guo: that's great. You summed it up quite accurately. It's kind of disgusting to listen to him Xu: I stayed up late last night, too Guo: did you pull it too? Xu: how about writing resume? Guo: resume writing? Xu: looking for a job Guo: the pressure is great Xu: Yes, I slept in a daze. I said, OK. I'll answer it for you Guo: go to them for their names Xu: come to the classroom, to sit here, the upper eyelid began to hit the eyelid Guo: I haven't slept in one night Xu: eyes closed, dizzy and listen to a teacher named Xu Deliang! Guo: call him Xu: arrive! Guo: promise! Xu: Zhang three! To Li four! To ~ Guo: Yeah Xu: Wang five! From - to - Guo: here comes the man. This is... Wait a minute. How can you make your voice sound high and low? Xu: afraid the teacher can hear it Guo: imitate someone else's voice Xu: of course Guo: what a genius! Xu: the teacher said, "Xu Deliang."! Guo: EH Xu: why don't you do that?! Why not?. Guo: Yeah Xu: look at your eyes! I woke up today, yo, class is two people Guo: you have to learn a three man's voice was considered a failure Xu: in an instant, July Guo: July, graduating soon Xu: students will each one pursues his onward journey. Guo: where are you going? Xu: brothers, they're going to be separated. Well, (singing) friends walk together in their lives Guo: it's singing again Xu (singing): those days are no longer, a word, a lifetime, a lifetime of love, a glass of wine. The eldest brother went to Guangzhou, the second son went to the United States, the third went to Shanghai, and the old four went to Zhejiang Guo: there are all Xu: he went to Heilongjiang. I said, boys and girls, it doesn't matter! Look for me when you go back to school! Guo: detention? Everyone else has gone. Have you failed? No graduation Xu: what does not call graduation? Guo: you stayed Xu: they said I was English. I didn't graduate. I didn't graduate Guo: Oh, English, this is tough Xu: no grade one Guo: Well, it's a little difficult Xu: I'm not fitter I grading why ah Guo: Yes, I sympathize with you. I also did not enter the ballad troupe because of English Xu: later they regretted it...... Guo: say your nonsense! Forgot? This is not nonsense in the North I hug, and you almost Guo: after graduation, everyone has gone and left you Xu: luckily, there are exams, Guo: and exams? Xu: and make-up! Guo: Oh you see Xu: I can't pass the make-up exam Guo: not! Xu: not ah Guo: why? Xu: I'm looking for a job Guo: you have to rush to work Xu: where is your mind to study? Guo: just talking about crosstalk Xu: it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter! I have a way Guo: what's the solution? Xu: on the day of the exam, I sneaked into the classroom at four o'clock in the morning! Guo: what are you going to steal? Xu: what do you steal? I checked the table and pressed it on the table as I checked it Guo: wouldn't you have this skill, Finished out moment stamps can make money Xu: very small characters! Guo: can you see that look in your eyes? Xu: they are all English Guo: my God Xu: dense all required sentence words, with a table, ho! At first glance, the table was covered with black sheets Guo: all right, ink makes it too much Xu: just sit there. I think I passed this time Guo: no way out Xu: I can graduate Guo: Yeah Xu: eight o'clock and Lahu Lahu pull classmates came in, I see, how didn't know anyone? Guo: have you spent your eyes? Xu: normal, make-up, ah, which department have ah Guo: Yes, maybe there are other Xu: huh? The teacher doesn't know. When they walked across my desk, they looked at me with admiration Guo: they haven't seen anything. Look at you Xu: the heart says, hey hey, start late Guo: don't grin Xu: you deserved it! Guo: none of you are killed Xu: Yes, I passed! Guo: bad luck Xu: send the papers to see my teacher Guo: how about that? Xu: studying japanese! I said the teacher was wrong, not the teacher! You see, I'm going to check on it, 206, isn't it 206? Guo: 206 ah Xu: how do you speak Japanese? You went into the wrong house. You're all in the wrong house Guo: all wrong Xu: are you all in the wrong house?! Guo: Hey Xu: the teacher said you show me your ticket, classmates, is the 206, this is a 206. What can I do? I'm going to go to the exam now. I'm not going to the exam now. I can't finish it. Guo: you go out time stamps Xu: or I'm going to study Japanese with this? Guo: you don't necessarily! Xu: it doesn't work! Guo: Yes Xu: what can I do about it? Guo: what should I do? Xu: so! Guo: Uh huh! Xu: knowing that there are tigers in the mountains Guo: good! Xu: inclined to Tiger Hill line! Guo: good! Xu: the exam has obstacles, have red heart! Guo: this poetry of Tang dynasty! Xu: the foot is like the East wind! Never mind is not the English test, the 206, I come! Guo: that's right! Xu: I'm going to carry the table! Guo: lack of insight!