翻译理论与实践(31)

作业讲评: One morning, in the fall of 1880, a middle-aged woman, accompanied by a young girl of eighteen, presented herself at the clerk’s desk of the principal hotel in Columbus, Ohio, and made inquiry as to whether there was anything about the place that she could do. She was of helpless, fleshy build, with a frank, open countenance and an innocent, diffident manner. Her eyes were large and patient, and in them dwelt such a shadow of distress as only those who have looked sympathetically into the countenances of the distraught and helpless poor know anything about. Any one could see where the daughter behind her got the timidity and shamefacedness which now caused her to stand back and look indifferently away. She was a product of the fancy, the feeling, the innate affection of the untutored but poetic mind of her mother combined with the gravity and poise which were characteristic of her father. Poverty was driving them. Together they presented so appealingly a picture of honest necessity that even the clerk was affected. 1880年秋天的一个早晨,有一个中年妇人,带着一个18岁的青年女子,走进俄亥俄州科伦坡市的大旅馆里,到帐房的写字台面前,问他旅馆里有没有她能做的活。那妇人生着一副绵软多肉的体格,一张坦率开诚的面容,一种天真羞怯的神气。一双大落落的柔顺眼睛,里边隐藏着无穷的心事,只有那些对于凄惶无告的穷苦人面目作过同情观察的人才看得出来。跟在她后面的是她的女儿,一种畏惧和羞怯使她躲缩在后边,眼睛不敢对面前正视,这种神情是谁都看得出她从哪儿得来的。原来她的母亲虽然没有受过教育,却有一种含有诗意的心情,具备着幻想、感情和天生的仁厚;她父亲呢,又特具一种沉着和稳重的性格,两者结合起来就造成她这样一个人了。如今贫穷正在逼迫她们。当时她母女俩那种穷困窘迫的情景是很动人的,连那帐房也受感动了。(傅东华译:《珍妮姑娘》) 1880年秋天的一个上午,有一个中年妇女,带着一个18岁的年轻姑娘,走进俄亥俄州科伦布市的大旅馆里,找到前台店员,询问旅馆里有没有适合她干的活。那妇人生着一副绵软多肉的体格,一张坦率开诚的面容,一种天真羞怯的神气。一双大落落的柔顺眼睛,里边隐藏着困苦带来的忧郁,只有那些对于凄惶无告的穷苦人面目作过同情观察的人才看得出来。跟在她后面的是她的女儿,一种畏惧和羞怯使她躲缩在后边,眼睛不敢对面前正视,这种神情是谁都看得出她从哪儿得来的。原来她的母亲虽然没有受过教育,却有一种含有诗意的心情,具备着幻想、感情和天生的仁厚;她父亲呢,又特具一种沉着和稳重的性格,两者结合起来就造成她这样一个人了。她们到旅馆来找活干,实在是迫于生计的无奈之举。母女俩那副摸样显得很可怜,让人觉得她们所处的困境是实实在在的,连那店员也为之所动。 shadow: used in reference to proximity, ominous oppressiveness, or sadness and gloom; 阴影,比喻某种临近、不祥的压抑感,悲伤、忧郁等情绪 drive: (of a fact/feeling) compel someone to act in a particular way, esp. one that is considered undesirable or inappropriate; distress: suffering caused by lack of money or the basic necessities of life; distraught: (a), very worried and upset; The missing child's distraught parents made an emotional appeal for information on TV. appealing: (a), (1) attractive and interesting; (2) (expression or tone of voice) showing that one wants help or sympathy hubbub, noun[U] 1 a loud noise, especially caused by a lot of people all talking at the same time: I could hardly hear myself speak above all the hubbub in the theatre bar. 2 general excitement and activity: Once the hubbub of the election had died down, it was back to normal for the President. as it were sometimes said after a figurative or unusual expression: If he still refuses we could always apply a little pressure, as it were. He is, as it were, a walking dictionary. 他可以说是一部活字典。 He is, as it were, an eternal boy. 他好像是个永远年轻的小伙子。 在某种程度上 He became, as it were, a man without a country. 他在某种程度上成了一个无国籍的人。 With this customer, he felt himself, as it were, casting pearls before swine. 面对这个客商,他感到好像是在对牛弹琴。 Anna translated it, as it were, into Marion's normal voice. 安娜把这问话还原成玛丽恩的清醒的语调。 He gets the solid shape, as it were, inside his head. 可以这样说,他把立体的形体放在头脑里。 bout, noun[C] a brief period of illness or involvement in an activity: She had a bout of flu over Christmas. He suffered from periodic bouts of insanity. a drinking bout (= brief period of drinking a lot of alcohol) slumber, noun[C or U] LITERARY sleep: I fell into a gentle slumber. I didn't want to rouse you from your slumbers. FIGURATIVE Sharp cuts in interest rates have failed to bring the economy out of its slumber. slumber, verb[I] LITERARY to sleep assail, verb FORMAL 1[T] to attack someone violently or criticize someone strongly: The victim had been assailed with repeated blows to the head and body. He was assailed with insults and abuse as he left the court. 2[T often passive] to cause someone to experience a lot of unpleasant things: to be assailed by doubts/fears/problems 词义的理解 王宗炎(1988,23)先生曾精辟地指出:“辨义是翻译之本。”英语词汇量大,词义丰富、多变,翻译中词义理解出现错误是常有的事。“参译”中不少误译、错译源自原文词义理解偏差,其中有的是望文生义,有的是译者没有细究,凭想当然,有的是认错了“假朋友”。例如: (1) Surely we must acknowledge a new responsibility to use that power wisely and with appropriate restraint. (lesson 3, p36) 我们必须承担一种新的责任,明智地使用那种权利,并加以克制。(第三课,p45) (2) The Nazi Regime is indistinguishable from the worst features of Communism. (lesson 5, p79) 纳粹体制与共产主义的最糟糕之处毫无两样。(第五课,p99) (3) “Now then,” he said, “you two was in the hit-’n-run.” (Lesson 6, p93) “现在呢,”他说道,“你们与开车肇事后逃逸有关。”(第六课,p120) Now then 在此为语气助词,用以唤起对方注意,而不是副词。改译:“喂,”他说,“那起交通肇事 逃逸案是你们俩干的吧?” (4) “Anyhow, what I found made me do some scouting----across at police headquarters where they know me too.” (Lesson 6, p96) “不管怎样,我的发现让我进行了一番侦察――对面的警察局,都知道我的侦察能力。”(第六课,p122 across用作副词,表示(相隔)一定的距离,不一定是“对面”。该句的最后部分更是错得离谱。改译:我的发现让我去警察局做了一番调查,那里的人我也熟。 (5) “I guess you’d have to take that chance.” (Lesson 6, p98) “我想你们得碰运气了。”(第六课,p123) (6) Undoubtedly what this oafish detective said was true: (Lesson 6, p100) 毫无疑问,这个胖得畸形的探长的话不假:(第六课,p124) oafish 是由oaf(笨蛋、白痴)加形容词后缀-ish派生而来,是“呆头呆脑”的意思,不是“胖得畸形的 (7) You people are hot. (Lesson 6, p99) 你们都成新闻焦点了。(第六课,p124) hot 为多义词,此处应取wanted by the police(被警方通缉)之义,“参译”取的是(of news) fresh and recent,and therefor, of great importance, 与上下文不符。 (8) Their speech and manner would betray them, making them conspicuous. (Lesson 6, p101) 他们的言谈举止会把他们暴露无遗,从而引起他人的怀疑。(第六课,p125) (9) A gay but inconsequent entertainment. (Lesson 14, p266) 一部开心热闹但不合逻辑的娱乐片。(第十四课,p316) inconsequent 既有illogical 也有irrelevant之义,但前者在上下文里显然“不合逻辑”。改译:挺 逗乐的喜剧片,但没多大意思。 习语(固定搭配)的理解 英语中的固定搭配(又称习语)是广大英语学习者倍感头痛的问 题 快递公司问题件快递公司问题件货款处理关于圆的周长面积重点题型关于解方程组的题及答案关于南海问题 。这些短语不但数量多,应用广, 形式灵活多变,而且意义上往往又与其字面意义相去甚远,稍不留神就会掉入陷阱。翻译时最忌望文 生义,下面两例恰恰如此: (10) “It’s no go, old girl, I’m afraid.” (Lesson 6, p94) “没有用的,老婆子。我担心得很。”(第六课,p120) (11) But isn’t the Pacific your fight, pure and simple? (Lesson 14, p268) 简单地说,难道你们不想参加太平洋战争?(第十四课,p316) 例(10)中的I’m afraid 只相当于一个语气助词,起婉转作用;例(7)中pure and simple也只是用以加 强语气而已,意思是“纯粹的、不折不扣的”,但“参译”将两个习语理解错了。 语法结构关系的理解 以下各例译文或多或少地走了样,原因是译者忽略了原文中的某些重要信息或细节,抑或是被表面 现象所迷惑,指代或修饰关系没有理清: (12) Things seemed much the same as in other Japanese cities.(lesson 2, p12) 这儿的一切都与日本其它城市一模一样。(第二课,p21) (13) But the old Webster’s labels don’t“colloquial” and doesn’t include “hang on to”in this sense at all. (Lesson 但老式版本的韦氏对第一句的don’t评论是“太口语化”,第二句里的hang on to根本就没有收录。 (第十一课,p235) (14) The consequences of all-out war between nations armed with nuclear weapons suddenly included the possibility of the destruction of both nations --- completely and simultaneously. (lesson 3, p38)两个拥有核武器的大国突然间爆发的全面战争,其后果就有可能导致两个国家的毁灭----同时而又彻底地。(第三课,p46-47) (15) …and it seams you claim a “poor to fair”knowledge of Russian. Hey? How is that?That’s very unusual. (Lesson 14, p263) 似乎你还会点俄语。是不是啊?水平如何?可不简单哟。(第十四课,p313-314) 例(12)中much 一词意义有些特殊,在此处作almost, nearly解,因此该句宜译作“这儿的一切与日本其它地方似乎没什么不同。”例(13)中“参译”译者忽略了in this sense这一重要信息,导致译文意思与原文南辕北辙。旧版词典并不是没有收录该词条,只是词条的义项中缺了该释义罢了。笔者改译:但旧版韦氏将don’t标为“口语体”,而hang on to的这层语义根本就没有包括在内。例(14) 中suddenly 明明是副词,修饰后面的动词included,而不是修饰前面的名词短语,“参译”译者把这种语法关系弄错了。最后一句中how is that中that指的是亨利“会点俄语”这一事实,而不是指他的俄语水平。改译如下:你好象填了“会点”俄语,对不?那是怎么回事?你居然懂点俄语,我简直不敢相信呢! 长句、难句的理解 《高级英语》中部分课文有一定难度,其中不乏长句、难句。“参译”对这些句子的处理大部分还是经得起推敲的,而且还有一些可圈可点的佳译。但有些句子的翻译却不敢恭维。下面仅举一例: (16) They doubted that “Lincoln could have modelled his Gettysburg Address” on it -- a concept of how things get written that throws very little light on Lincoln but a great deal on Life. (Lesson 11, p185) 他们怀疑,“林肯若参照该词典能写出《盖茨堡演讲》吗?”----这种如何描写事物的概念 方法 快递客服问题件处理详细方法山木方法pdf计算方法pdf华与华方法下载八字理论方法下载 对林肯不会有何裨益,倒是对《生活》杂志影响很大。(第十一课,p233) “参译”之所以如此“歪曲”原意,是因为没有理解原文作者的本义。作者是在讽刺、挖苦《生活》杂志的编辑们,暗示他们非常无知,不懂得好的文章、尤其是名作、名篇是如何写出来的。原文中打了引号的部分应该是《生活》杂志社论在抨击新版韦氏词典时的原话,从中可以看出,他们在社论中含沙射影,借林肯《盖茨堡演讲》辞来蓄意贬低新字典,但正是这一点,揭示了他们的荒唐之处:有哪个高明的作家写作时一定要以某本字典作范本呢? 改译:他们怀疑,“林肯若参照该词典能写出《盖茨堡演讲》吗?”----关于文章是如何写出来的这种见解,对林肯的写作方式没有什么启示,但对《生活》杂志的写作方式倒是提供了最好的注脚。(言下之意:他们写作时一定是以某本权威字典作模型吧) 表达方面的问题 对原文正确的理解仅仅是为翻译打下了初步基础,如何用地道、流畅的中文加以表达也不是一件容易的事。严复的“一名之立,踌躇旬月”就充分反映了这一点。在翻译实践中,理解正确而表达不当的例子比比皆是。《高级英语》“参译”也不例外。笔者将“参译”中表达不当的例子分为以下四个方面: 译文不确切 从下面所举的译例中不难看出,译者对原文的理解并没有错,但译文没说到点子上,有的翻译过头(13),有的没有到位(18)。究其原因,一是译者没有摆脱原文字面意义的束缚,二是中文功底没有达到那中“炉火纯青”的境界。 (17) One of the peculialities of the Eastern bazaar is that shopkeeper dealing in the same kind of goods do not scatter themselves over the bazaar, (lesson 1, p2) 中东市场的一个特点就是同类商品的经销者不是……(第一课,p2) (18. )Bargaining is the order of the day. (lesson 1, p2) 讨价还价是常有的事。(第一课,p3) (19) Or sit in a tiny restaurant with porters and apprentices and eat your humble bread and cheese. (lesson 1, p 也可与学徒、脚夫一道坐进小饭店去吃那些不能登大雅之堂的面包和奶酪。(第一课,p3) (20) The Japanese crowd did not appear to have the same preoccupations that I had. (lesson 2, p12) 这儿的日本人似乎没有我这样的看法。(第二课,p21) (21) Brought not from the Aral Sea but shipped by rail through Siberia from the Pacific Ocean, more than a thousand miles away. (lesson 3, p28) 而是从一千英里以外的太平洋通过铁路转道西伯利亚运输而来的。(第三课,p42) (22) The prospects of a good catch looked bleak. (lesson 3, p27) 满载而归的捕获却是痴心妄想。(第三课,p41) 改译:要想捕到很多鱼看来希望渺茫。 (23) On some nights, in high northern latitudes, the sky offers another ghostly image that signals the loss of ecological balance now in progress.(lesson 3, p31) 在北方高纬度地区,有好几个晚上,天空也呈现出预示生态平衡失调不断加剧的可怕征兆。(第三课,p43)改译:在北方高纬度地区,晚空中时常会出现可怕的怪影,标志着生态平衡正在遭受破坏。 (24) I had not the slightest doubt where our duty and policy lay. Nor indeed what to say. (lesson 5, p77) 对于我们的职责所在、政策所归,我没有半点犹豫;对我要发表的讲话也无半点的怀疑。(第五课,p98)改译:对我们的职责、政策所在我毫无疑虑,对我要讲些什么也成竹在胸。 (25) This is no time to moralize on the follies of conutries and governments which have allowed themselves to be struck down one by one, …(lesson 5, p81) 现在没有时间来教育那些已经被各个击破的愚蠢的国家和政府,(第五课,p100) (26) …and sternly accused the editors of betraying a public trust. (Lesson 11, p185) 并义正词严地指责编著者辜负了大众的信任。(严厉地)(第十一课,p233) (27) …is observing and setting down precisely what happens when native speakers speak it. (Lesson 11, p187) 就是观察并精确地确定本族语者说话时发生了怎样的变化。(第十一课,p234) 改译:就是观察并准确地记录下本族语者说话时的具体情况。 (28) “Sir, I was apalled to hear about it..” (Lesson 14, p260) “先生,我当时听说时都惊呆了。”(第十四课,p312) (29) Saps at sea, eh? Not inapproriate! (Lesson 14, p266) 是《傻瓜出海记》,啊?还不错嘛!(第十四课,p315) 改译:《傻瓜出海记》,啊?挺有现实意义嘛! 译文生硬、不地道 与上述“不确切”译文稍有不同的是,下面的译文听起来觉得别扭,属于典型的“翻译体”。Eugine Nida在其《翻译理论与实践》一 书 关于书的成语关于读书的排比句社区图书漂流公约怎么写关于读书的小报汉书pdf 中为这种译文取了个名字,叫translationese. (转引自范仲英,98)“翻译体”的主要表现是不自然,生硬、晦涩、费解,甚至不知所云。出现这种现象的原因之一是译 者过于依赖英汉词典,谴词造句时思路没有打开,谨小慎微,不敢越雷池一步。相比之下,笔者提供 的“改译”就灵活些,更加文从句顺,流畅易懂: (30) Quite unexpectedly, the strange emotion which had overwhelmed me at the station returned, (lesson 2, p1出人意料地,那种在车站侵扰我的那种奇特的忧伤重新袭上心头。(第二课,p22) (31) “if you write about this city, do not forget to say that it is the gayest city in Japan.”(lesson 2, p16)“如果你要写着个城市,别忘了写这里是日本最快乐的城市。”(第二课,p23) (32) …as they exchanged the ritual formula of gratitude and respect: (lesson 2, p13) (他们不停地点头弯腰),致感激之情。(第二课,p21)