绝望主妇第三季 剧本7

绝望主妇第三季 剧本7 Desperate Housewives - Episode 03.07 - Bang This was typed by Amanda, a mere human, and mistakes are possible. If you find any, no matter how trivial, please let me know. (desperate_housewives at yahoo dot com) In the interest of finishing the transcripts faster, screen caps will no longer be placed on the transcripts. You can find screen caps at the following websites: Desperate Housewives Wisteria Lane The Suburbs Desperate Housewives If you know of any other screen caps sites, please e-mail them to me: (desperate_housewives at yahoo dot com) Starring "Susan Mayer" - Teri Hatcher "Lynette Scavo" - Felicity Huffman "Bree Van De Kamp" - Marcia Cross "Gabrielle Solis" - Eva Longoria "Edie Britt" - Nicollette Sheridan "Carlos Solis" - Ricardo Antonio Chavira "Julie Mayer" - Andrea Bowen "Tom Scavo" - Doug Savant "Orson Hodge" - Kyle MacLachlan "Mary Alice Young" - Brenda Strong "Mike Delfino" - James Denton Also Starring "Andrew Van de Kamp" - Shawn Pyfrom "Danielle Van de Kamp" - Joy Lauren "Austin Britt" - Josh Henderson "Preston Scavo" - Brent Kinsman "Porter Scavo" - Shane Kinsman "Parker Scavo" - Zane Huett Guest Starring "Ian Hainesworth" - Dougray Scott "Karen McCluskey" - Kathryn Joosten "Carolyn Bigsby" - Laurie Metcalf "Nora" - Kiersten Warren "Harvey Bigsby" - Brian Kerwin "Arthur Shepherd" - Matt Roth "Kayla Huntington" - Rachel Fox "Mr. Stevens" - Michael Bofshever "Mr. Katzburg" - Michael Durrell Co-Starring "Ida Greenberg" - Pat Crawford Brown "Maya" - Kathleen Gati "Stockboy" - Matt Casper "Reporter" - Christine Clayburg "Cashier" - Maile Flanagan "Judge" - John C. Moskoff "Police Captain" - Joe Sabatino "Female Hostage" - Anne Bellamy Written by: Joe Keenan Directed by: Larry Shaw Friday Carolyn Bigsby is sitting in her car. "It was supposed to be an ordinary day for Carolyn Bigsby. She had planned to bake her husband a strudel, give her dog a bath, and water her African violets. Yes, Carolyn had planned to do all sorts of things she thought mattered. But earlier that day, a woman who wasn't her friend told Carolyn something she wasn't supposed to hear. From that moment on, Carolyn felt nothing really mattered anymore." Carolyn enters the market as Susan leaves. Susan: "Hello, Carolyn." Carolyn: "Yeah, hey, how are you?" Carolyn goes to the back of the store where Harvey, her husband, is. Harvey: "Carolyn? What are you doing here?" Carolyn: "I've been thinking, Harvey, that if you loved this Monique woman so much, maybe you should be with her." Harvey: "For God sakes, Carolyn, she's dead." Carolyn: "Yeah, I know." Carolyn pulls out a gun and points it at Harvey. He runs away and she shoots. She follows him, still shooting. He runs into the manager's office. "Yes, Carolyn Bigsby had planned on it being an ordinary day..." Carolyn bangs on the door of the office. Carolyn: "Harvey! You come out of there, damn it!" "But as every housewife knows..." Carolyn turns the gun on the other customers in the store. Carolyn: "Down. Nobody goes anywhere." "...plans change." The Night Before Lynette is sleeping in her bed. Dream "Lynette Scavo had a dream last night. It was one she'd had many times before. She dreamt of the last time she saw me and of the last time we spoke." Lynette gets out of her car and sees Mary Alice standing on her lawn, staring down at a letter in her hand. Lynette: "Hey! Mary Alice, are you okay?" Mary Alice: "Yes, thank you. I'm fine." Lynette: "Okay. See you later." Lynette goes inside her house. "It was still hard for Lynette to accept that this unremarkable exchange had been our last. Or that moments later, I would enter my house and put a bullet through my brain." A shot is heard and Lynette wakes suddenly, sitting up in bed, breathing hard. Friday Morning - Outside Susan's House Lynette, Susan, and Gabrielle are standing in Susan's front yard, sipping coffee. Lynette: "I had the Mary Alice dream again last night." Gabrielle: "Oh, hon, again?" Lynette: "I haven't had it for months. I don't know why it came back." Susan: "Well, somebody just bought her old house. Maybe that triggered something." Lynette: "It was awful, as always. I saw she was in pain, and I just walked away and..." Susan: "There was nothing you could do." Lynette: "And that's what I did, nothing." A man comes out of the Young's old house. Susan: "Hey, is that the new neighbor?" Gabrielle: "Oh, he's cute!" Lynette: "Edie said he's a bachelor..." Gabrielle: "Keep talking." Lynette: "...who lives with his invalid sister." Gabrielle: "You can stop now." Susan: "Should we go introduce ourselves?" Gabrielle: "Yeah, let's give him the scoop on the neighborhood." The women head towards the Young house. Lynette: "Do you think he knows Mary Alice shot herself in his living room?" The women stop walking. Susan: "Then again, he probably wants some time to unpack." They turn around and walk back to Susan's house. Bree's House Bree: "Orson? If you have a moment, there's something I'd like your thoughts on." Orson: "Certainly. What is it? The menu for our holiday open house?" Bree: "No, it's the police report from the night you beat your first wife. I'm still working on the menu." Orson: "I assure you, I did not beat my wife. She suffered these injuries in a fall." Bree: "Well, how did she fall?" Orson: "I pushed her. It was self-defense. She attacked me." Bree: "Why would she attack you?" Orson: "She spilled some red wine on a white tablecloth. She was trying to clean it up with dish soap. When I pointed out her mistake, she started screaming, "Shut up, shut up!" And striking me repeatedly with a sauté pan. Well, look...the police dropped the charges. Where did you get this?" Bree: "Carolyn." Orson: "Well, of course. Who else? If she paid this much attention to her own marriage, maybe Harvey wouldn't have cheated on her." Bree: "Harvey cheated?" Orson: "Yes, with some flight attendant named Monique. Darling, I could never strike a woman. Well, you do believe me, don't you?" Bree: "All right, I accept your explanation. I just wish there were fewer things for you to explain. By the way, to remove a red wine stain, you sprinkle salt to absorb it." Orson: "That's just what I was saying to Alma when she clocked me." Outside Lynette's House Tom is watering the bushes and Lynette walks outside when Nora drives up to their house. Lynette: "Whoa, what fresh hell is this?" Nora: "Hey, Tom..." Lynette: "Whoa! Whoa, whoa! You have stepped onto my property and you've talked to Tom. That's two rules you've broken and I'm not sure that top doesn't make three." Nora: "Would you tell your lunatic wife I'm not talking to her?" Lynette: "You're the lunatic if you think I'm letting you anywhere near my husband." Tom: "Just drop Kayla off and go." Nora: "Kayla won't be visiting today. We're moving. And here's where you can send the child support." She hands him an address on a piece of paper. Tom: "Mexico?" Nora: "An old friend of mine got me a sweet job dancing at a nightclub in Tijuana." Tom: "Great, and you're taking Kayla?" Nora: "Thank your wife. She's been itching to get rid of us ever since we got here. She finally got her way. Wave bye-bye to your daddy, honey." Tom: "Nora, can't, can't we just talk about this?" Nora: "Oh, we're not allowed to talk. Remember?" Lynette: "She's Tom's daughter. You can't just take her out of the country." Nora: "Watch me." Judge's Office Carlos, Gabrielle, and their respective lawyers sit before a judge. Judge: "Does either party have anything to add before I rule on the division of assets and alimony?" Gabrielle抯 Lawyer: "No, we're confident that your ruling will reflect the pain and suffering endured by my client." Carlos抯 Lawyer: "Your honor, does the definition of suffering encompass the seduction of my client four days ago?" Judge: "Excuse me?" Carlos抯 Lawyer: "She thought he was coming into some money and hoped to stall the divorce until she could claim her share." Gabrielle: "How dare you! That is a vicious lie." Carlos turns on a tape recorder and Gabrielle抯 voice from the tape fills the room. Gabrielle's Voice: "Oh, Carlos, give it to me! Carlos! Yes! Yes! Carlos..." Carlos turns off the tape recorder. Gabrielle: "You recorded our lovemaking?" Carlos: "It's all right here, your honor. When she climaxes, she actually starts screaming out dollar amounts." Judge: "Mrs. Solis, would you like to respond?" Gabrielle: "As a matter of fact, I do have a few thoughts." Later, Gabrielle is physically removed from the room, kicking and shouting as Carlos and the lawyers follow sedately behind her. Gabrielle: "Carlos, you're a dead man! Do you hear me?" Carlos: "Oh, the ruling seems fair to me. You get the house. I just get everything in it." Gabrielle: "I said dead!" Carlos: "No alimony. That's a drag. But, hey, you like to work, right?" Gabrielle: "Come on, just give me one clean shot at him. I'm willing to do the time!" Susan's House Julie comes into the kitchen where Susan is cleaning out the trash container. Julie: "Mom, I was packing your suitcase and you're totally out of toothpaste. Do you want me to go to the store and get some?" Susan sees a crumpled beer can behind where the trash can normally is. Susan: "What is this?" Julie: "Oh, um, it was Austin's, okay?" Susan: "Edie's nephew? Since when are you friends with him?" Julie: "Uh, we are not friends. I was tutoring him, he brought beer, I told him to throw it out, and he did. End of story." Susan: "Did you have any?" Julie doesn抰 say anything. Susan: "Oh, I cannot believe your timing. I'm about to fly off to Paris and you're inviting boys over for Oktoberfest." Julie: "Oh, that's it! Go to your room and finish packing. This conversation's over." Susan: "The last time I checked, I was the parent." Julie: "Yeah, well, the last time I checked, I was the daughter who never gave you any reason to doubt her." Susan: "Okay, I know I--" Julie: "And don't play the parent card with me. I just finished packing your suitcase, doing your laundry, and balancing your checkbook. And now I'm going to the store to buy your toothpaste." She storms out. Susan: "Well, a simple 'No, I didn't drink any beer' would've sufficed." Wisteria Lane Bree is walking down the sidewalk. Carolyn, driving by, sees Bree and stops to chat. Carolyn: "Bree! You haven't returned any of my calls. I've been worried. Have you told the wife-beater you're leaving him yet?" Bree: "Sorry, no. Turns out he has an explanation for the police report." Carolyn: "Oh, come on. There's never a good reason for hitting a woman." Bree: "I used to think that, too. Then I met you. Good day." Carolyn: "I'm trying to help you. You're living in a fool's paradise." Bree: "Well, I guess that makes us neighbors." Carolyn: "What's that supposed to mean?" Bree: "It means you should stop worrying about my marriage and start worrying about your own." Carolyn: "Don't play coy with me. You've got something to say, then just say it." Bree: "Okay. Does the name Monique mean anything to you?" Lynette's House Tom is on the Internet. Tom: "Hey, I found this site that offers really cheap fares to Tijuana, but should I even be thinking of going to Tijuana?" Lynette: "It's fine with me...soon as you figure out a way to leave your genitals here." Tom: "What are you saying, Lynette? I'm not allowed to visit my daughter? What?" Lynette: "See? This is exactly what she wants. She takes Kayla, and I get blamed. Well, screw her. Let's sue for custody." Tom: "Full custody? You'd go for that?" Lynette: "You bet I would. Kayla will be much better off without crazy in her life.And so will we." Tom: "I am right there with you. I just, I never thought you'd want a fifth kid." Lynette: "I don't, but I didn't want the first four, and they're starting to grow on me." She kisses him and leaves. Gabrielle's House Gabrielle comes into the house. Carlos is reading the newspaper in the living room. Carlos: "Hey, look whose plastic handcuffs got taken off. Okay, you 抮e clearly still a little miffed about the settlement. But come on, be fair. I did buy most of the stuff in this house, honey." There's a smash from the other room. Carlos goes into the kitchen. Gabrielle is smashing items onto the floor. Carlos: "What the hell are you doing?!" Gabrielle: "Oh, I'm helping you pack. Think of all the money you're gonna save on bubble wrap." Carlos: "Hey! Do you know how much that was worth?!" Gabrielle: "Do you know how much I was worth?! When we met, I was on the cover of magazines. I had a career and a future, but I gave it all up for you, and what did I get in return?" Carlos: "If you break one more thing, so help me..." Gabrielle: "What? What are you gonna do?" Carlos leaves the room. There's a loud banging noise from another room. Gabrielle throws another piece of crystal to the ground and runs into the living room where Carlos is hitting the wall with a sledgehammer. Plaster rains down. Gabrielle: "Carlos, have you lost your mind?!" Carlos: "Well, you're helping me pack my stuff. I'm helping you remodel your house. You know, I don't know about you, but I always thought there should be a window that was right there. We can stop this right now, or we can keep on playing. Your call." Gabrielle knocks a vase over. Field's Market Julie is shopping when Austin comes up behind her. Austin: "Toothpaste, mouthwash...did somebody get an anonymous e-mail?" Julie: "Said the boy with the economy-sized acne cream." Austin: "There you go again, checking out my basket." Julie: "Ugh, go away. Do you know how much trouble your stupid beer can got me in?" Austin: "Well, then let me make it up to you. I'll carry your stuff." Julie: "Whatever." She hands him her basket and walks away. While she抯 turned away, he takes a bottle of whiskey from his basket and slips it into her bag. Carolyn's House Carolyn picks up her phone and dials a number. At the Field's Market, Harvey picks up while he signs a delivery man's clipboard. Harvey: "Yeah?" Carolyn: "Harvey, it's me." Harvey: "Hey, hon, I'm in the middle of something here, so, um..." Carolyn: "I know about Monique." He turns to the delivery man. Harvey: "Um, could you excuse me a second?" He walks away. Harvey: "Look, I don't know who you've been talking to, but, um..." Carolyn: "Did you love her?" Harvey: "She was just a friend and she disappeared eight months ago. The police just found her body." Carolyn: "Eight months ago. That's right when you fell into that big depression. And I kept thinking, 'Why is Harvey so blue? How do I cheer him up?' That was about her, wasn't it?" Harvey: "It's over. She's dead." Carolyn: "But if she weren't, who would you be with, me or her?" Harvey: "She's dead." Field's Market At the cash register, the cashier is ringing up Julie抯 purchases. Cashier: "That'll be twelve ninety-nine. I'll take your Field's card." Julie reaches in her bag for the card and the whiskey bottle falls out. Austin: "Couldn't keep your wallet in your pants." Cashier: "Mr. Bigsby?" Harvey: "Look, um...I gotta go." He hangs up and goes over to the cashier. Carolyn's House Carolyn goes over to a drawer and takes out a gun. Lynette's House The three boys make a human pyramid. Twin: "Mommy, look at us!" Lynette: "I'll look as soon as I get back from the store." Parker: "Bye, mom!" Lynette leaves the house. Wisteria Lane Edie is jogging down the street when her cell phone rings. She stops jogging and answers the phone. Edie: "This is Edie. Yeah, I'm his aunt. He shoplifted what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be right there." Susan's House Ian comes into Susan抯 room, where she抯 packing. Ian: "You're still packing? We're going to be late." Susan: "Nope, we're fine. Besides, I can't leave until Julie gets back with my toothpaste." Ian: "Oh, we don't need it. I packed a large tube and some dental floss." Susan: "Really?" Ian: "Why are Americans so amazed when the English display the slightest acquaintance with dental hygiene?" Susan: "Okay, I'm gonna need some help with this big baby. Go! Zip, zip, zip!" Ian: "Uh, Susan, do you really need all this? I mean, we're not emigrating." Susan: "It's my first time in Paris. I want it to be magical, and that means accessories, so back off." Ian: "It's the fashion capital of the world. Uh, while I'm working, you can take my credit card and buy some new things." Susan: "No, no, I am not gonna spend your money." Ian: "I have an expense account." Susan: "And you just tell me this now?" She unzips the suitcase and begins removing items. Ian: "I'll tell the driver you'll be a minute." He leaves. The phone rings. Susan picks it up. Susan: "Hello? Yes, this is her mother. What?" Field's Market Susan walks into the store and heads to the back office. Near the front, Lynette is talking with Art, the new Wisteria Lane neighbor. Lynette: "Well, you're gonna love the neighborhood. Are you all moved in?" Art: "Uh, pretty much. Just waiting on some medical equipment for my sister." Lynette: "Oh, yeah, I heard she isn't well. Can I ask what's wrong with her?" Art: "Oh, of course. Unfortunately, she has this rare degenerative..." Lynette sees Nora enter the store. Lynette: "Oh, that's rough. Excuse me." Edie, Susan, Julie, Austin, and Harvey are in the back office. Susan: "You told me you weren't even friends with him. Now you're shoplifting together?" Julie: "Mom, you know I wouldn't steal." Susan: "Yeah, I wanna believe that, but suddenly you're having boys over, you're drinking beer..." Austin: "And soon she'll be listening to that rock 'n' roll music everybody's talking about." Edie flicks him on the head. Harvey: "So, how are we gonna handle this?" Susan: "Listen, I have somebody in the car who's late for a plane. Can you give me two minutes?" Julie: "Mom..." Susan: "I am so disappointed in you." She leaves the Field's Market, passing by Carolyn, who抯 entering. Susan: "Hello, Carolyn." Carolyn: "Yeah, hey, how are you?" In the back of the store, Edie is talking with Harvey. Edie: "Look, make him work it off. You get a free stock boy for a month." Austin: "A month? It was a ten dollar bottle of whiskey." Edie: "Exactly. You weren't even smart enough to steal the good stuff. Harvey, don't walk away. Come on. Let's sort this out." In a different part of the store, Nora runs into Lynette. Lynette: "Hey, Nora. How's tricks?" Nora: "I thought it was your car I saw in the lot. You're a conniving bitch." Lynette: "Ah, I see you've heard from our lawyer." Nora: "So it's not enough that you run me out of town. You gotta steal my damn kid." Carolyn walks past them and stops when she sees Harvey. Harvey: "Carolyn, what are you doing here?" Carolyn: "I've been thinking, Harvey, that if you loved this Monique woman so much..." Lynette walks around Nora, going into another aisle and Nora follows her. Lynette: "Even you have to admit Kayla would be better off with us than in a dingy apartment over a Tijuana strip club." Nora: "Believe me, Lynette, you do not wanna screw with me." Lynette: "You went after my husband. If anyone should be afraid, it's you." A gunshot rings out. In the next aisle, Carolyn, pointing the gun in front of her, walks after Harvey, who rushes Edie and himself into the back office. Harvey: "Go! Go!" Carolyn shoots again. Carolyn: "Harvey! Harvey, you come out of there, damn it!" She turns the gun on the customers, including Julie and Austin, around her. Carolyn: "Down. Everybody down. Nobody goes anywhere. Don't move. Get down." Field's Market Parking Lot Susan is talking with Ian ion the limo. Ian: "You can't be serious. We have tickets. The plane leaves in two hours." Susan: "I'm sorry. I know, Julie picked a lousy time to rebel. I just can't fly off and ignore it." Ian: "You're overreacting. It's an adolescent prank, and you're turning it into some great bloody crisis." Susan: "You have a lot of meetings anyway. We抣l go some other time. I can't leave Julie right now." Ian: "We'll take her with us." Susan: "Oh, that's responsible parenting. 'Stealing whiskey? That's it, young lady. I'm taking you to Paris.'" Ian: "Ah, ah, but that's just some ruse. Once we get her on the plane, we'll make her fly coach, middle seat, no mercy." Susan: "I'm sorry." Ian: "It won't be Paris without you." Field's Market Lynette and Nora rush up to an employee, who's crouched behind a display case. Lynette: "What the hell's going on?" Employee: "It's Mrs. Bigsby. She has a gun." Lynette: "What?" The three of them look over to where Carolyn is standing with the gun. Carolyn: "I said nobody move!" Employee: "She's at the back. I think we can make it." He gets up and runs towards the front entrance. Carolyn sees him and shoots. Carolyn: "Hey!" The employee, shot in the back, still manages to make it outside. Lynette and Nora scramble over each other to hide in the next aisle. Carolyn: "Attention, shoppers, we抮e having a special today on not getting shot, but it's only available at the back of the store!" She finds two women crouched near the front of the store and herds them to the back. Carolyn: "Hey, how are ya? Thanks for joining us. Do I know you?" Woman: "My son, Jordan抯, in your Sunday school class." Carolyn: "Oh, he's a great little boy, so don't do anything that'll make him wake up tomorrow without a mommy. Um, for the rest of you, hi, I'm Carolyn. I'm sorry for putting a crimp in your day, but I'm pretty sure that my cheating husband is in here right now phoning the police, so I'm counting on all you folks to help me keep them outside till Harvey and I have a chance to talk things over." She looks up at the security camera. Carolyn: "Harvey! You're inconveniencing your customers. Get out here!" Inside the Office Harvey is on the phone to the police while Edie watches the TV screens that show the video from the security cameras. Harvey: "Yeah, she's got hostages!" Edie: "Oh, my God. Austin's there and Julie! Get your ass out there before someone gets hurt!" Harvey: "What am I, a moron? She'll shoot me." Edie: "She has got ten innocent people out there. Sometimes you've got to take one for the team." In the aisle, Nora and Lynette are huddled in a corner. Lynette dials a number on her cell phone. Parker picks up. Parker: "Hello?" Lynette: "Hello, sweetie, it's Mommy. I need to talk to daddy." Parker: "Porter's hogging all the Legos." Lynette: "Tell him I said to share. Now put daddy on." Parker: "I did tell them, but he says he needs them all for his robot." Lynette: "Put daddy on and I'll buy you a real robot." Parker: "You will?" Lynette: "A big one with laser beam eyes. Now go get daddy!" Parker: "I'm getting a real robot!" Twin: "A real robot?" He puts the phone down and runs off. As Lynette and Nora sit huddled around the cell phone, a gun appears by Lynette's face. Nora gasps. Carolyn: "I'm having a real bad day here. Is a little cooperation too much to ask?" Lynette hands Carolyn her phone. Before Carolyn closes the connection on the phone, Tom抯 voice is heard. Tom: "Lynette? Lynette?" Field's Market Parking Lot Susan waves goodbye as Ian drives off. Susan sees a man on his cell phone, hiding behind a car. Man: "It's terrible. Terrible." An ambulance pulls up to the Field's Market and people run past Susan, away from the store. Susan: "Excuse me, what's going, what's going on?" Woman: "Crazy woman with a gun in there!" Susan runs to the store. A man shouts to her. Man: "No, no, no! Stay back!" Susan reaches the front entrance right as Carolyn locks the door from the inside. Susan: "Carolyn! Open up! My daughter's inside!" Carolyn: "Sorry, store's closed." Susan: "Yeah, but there's a crazy woman in there!" Carolyn: "Yeah, I know." She holds up the gun. Gabrielle's House Somebody rings the doorbell. Gabrielle, looking disheveled, opens it, to reveal Mrs. McCluskey standing on her porch. Mrs. McCluskey: "Quick, turn on the TV." Gabrielle: "It's kind of on the fritz." Mrs. McCluskey: "Well, turn on your radio." Gabrielle: "If only you'd come ten minutes earlier." Mrs. McCluskey: "Some woman is shooting up Field抯 Market. She's got hostages." Gabrielle: "Oh, my God!" Mrs. McCluskey: "Yeah, we're all watching it over at Bree's house, and, uh, is everything okay here?" Gabrielle: "Yeah, everything's fine. Having a little squabble." Carlos walks by, turning on a chainsaw as he walks upstairs. Gabrielle: "Give us a minute. Carlos, where do you think you're going with that?!" Bree's House A crowd of neighbors has gathered in Bree抯 living room to watch the news. Reporter: "Information is very thin at this time. We do not see anybody in the front of the building at this hour but..." Bree: "Coffee's almost ready, and if yo'd prefer to watch the coverage on channel nine, it's on in the den. Orson, Greta needs a coaster." the doorbell rings and Bree answers it. Ida Greenberg and another neighbor walk in. Ida: "Bree, have you heard?" Bree: "Oh, it's just awful. Deviled egg?" Ida: "Oh, thank you." (to the other neighbor) "I told you she'd have food." Field's Market The hostages are sitting on the floor. Carolyn: "I'm sure some of you might be thinking that this is all my fault, and that I'm the bad guy here, but I'm not. He is." Her cell phone rings and she picks it up. Carolyn: "Will you people stop calling me? I'm right in the middle of something." She hangs up and turns back to the group of customers on the floor. Carolyn: "He humiliated me. First he cheated on me with a stewardess named Monique. How cliché is that? And then he told people about it. Now there are news trucks out there. Judy Pope's husband has an affair, nobody finds out. Mine cheats, and they break into programming!" She goes to the security camera and shouts up at it. Carolyn: "The whole town is laughing at me! You hear that, Harvey?" Harvey and Edie watch the video of Carolyn. Harvey: "I only told one person." Edie: "Well, it was clearly the wrong one." In the store, Carolyn抯 phone rings again. Carolyn: "I told you to stop calling me. Tish, I'm sorry. I thought it was somebody else. Oh, my God, was that today? I'm so sorry. I know, Tish. Yeah, I know. I know I volunteered for the winter fair..." While Carolyn is on the phone, Julie talks to Austin. Julie: "How can you look so calm? Aren't you scared?" Austin: "No, because I'm not gonna die today and neither are you." Carolyn is still on the phone. Carolyn: "Tish, I really don't think that I can. I'm telling you, um, oh, Tish, for God sakes, turn on your damn TV!" Field's Market Parking Lot Susan walks up to one of the cops. Susan: "Excuse me, my name is Susan Mayer." Cop: "Ma'am, this is a restricted area." Susan: "I would like to trade places with one of the people inside. Don't, don't you do that?" Cop: "Oh, you mean our hostage exchange program?" Susan: "Okay, you don't have to be nasty. My daughter is inside there." Cop: "Ma'am, we're doing everything we can to get her out safely. Now please step back." Susan walks away and sees a megaphone abandoned on a car. Cop: "I want the perimeter locked down. Nobody goes in, nobody goes out, and see if you can get me an open phone line with the manager's office." Susan picks up the megaphone and sneaks around to the front of the store and begins speaking into it. : "Attention! Attention, Carolyn Bigsby!" Susan Cop: "Where's that coming from?" Susan: "This is Susan Mayer again. First of all, I'm sorry for the crazy lady remark. Second, I have a proposition for you." Cop: "Find her now!" : "Let Julie go and take me instead. Repeat, take me. I will Susan be a model hostage. If we have a deal, signal by sending Julie to the..." The cops grab her and take the megaphone away. Susan continues shouting. Susan: "Carolyn, Carolyn! Call my cell! It's five seven two--." The cops escort her away. Bree's House The TV is still on. Reporter: "Now we don't know where anyone is inside the building right now, but we are standing by, waiting for information. I'm hoping to talk to the chief of police in just a couple of minutes, get a few more details..." The phone rings. Bree: "Andrew, honey, would you please get the phone?" Reporter: "Police have just released the name of the hostage taker. It's Carolyn Bigsby, wife of store owner Harvey Bigsby. Harvey has informed police that he is barricaded inside the store in his office..." Neighbor: "Oh, my God, Bree, don't you know her?" Bree: "Uh, yes, um...I just...ran into her this morning." Orson looks at Bree. Andrew: "Uh, mom? That was Edie Britt on the phone. She's inside the market." Gabrielle: "Is she all right?" Andrew: "Yeah, uh, she's locked inside the manager's office, but she said that Julie Mayer and Mrs. Scavo are with the hostages." The doorbell rings. Bree answers it to find Tom with all of the kids. He walks in. Tom: "Bree, would you mind watching the kids? I've got a doctor's appointment, and Lynette is taking her sweet time at the market." He suddenly notices all of the people in her living room. Tom: "I'm sorry. Are you guys having a party?" Later... Reporter: "We continue to report live on the scene as the hostage standoff as Field抯 Market enters its third hour. According to a police spokesman, there has been no further contact from the hostage taker. We continue to wait for the latest information. No new news at this point. We will bring you the latest as soon as it becomes available." Bree is in the kitchen, slicing bread. Orson enters. Orson: "Are you all right?" Bree: "I'm fine. I just, I'm running out of food, and it's not as if I can go to the grocery store." Orson: "Bree..." Bree: "Thank God I found this stale baguette so I can make bruschetta, and there's shrimp in the freezer, so I'm gonna make my rice and seafood dish." Orson: "Bree, this is not your fault." Bree: "I had to tell her. She hurt me, so I hurt her back. If anything should happen to Julie or Lynette..." son: "Is there anything I can do?" Or Bree: "You can peel a clove of garlic." Orson: "Okay." Field's Market Parking Lot The cops keep the bystanders from pushing forward. Tom and Susan stand quietly together. Field's Market Carolyn has opened up a bag of cookies and is eating them. Carolyn: "I wanted kids. I wanted kids so badly but Harvey had two from his first wife. He said it made her fat. Harvey likes 'em lean. I run four miles a day. This is my first cookie in six years. You hear that, Harvey? I'm breaking my diet!" Inside the office, Harvey is on the phone. Harvey: "She's starting to lose it out there. What do I do?" Cop: "Just keep her calm, tell her you're sorry, and see if you can get her to release the kids and old people." Harvey: "Okay, I'll try." He pushes a button on a microphone so he can talk to Carolyn in the store. Harvey: "Carolyn. Honey, uh, it's me, Harvey. Look, I抦 really sorry. What I did was wrong, but I still love you a lot." Carolyn: "Cut the crap. I had my hair done this morning. Did you notice, huh? Did you even notice?" Harvey: "Well, I was distracted. You were shooting at me." Edie: "Tell her to let the kids go." Carolyn: "Who the hell was that? You got a woman in there?" Harvey: "She's a customer!" Carolyn: "Don't lie to me, Harvey! She's another one of your whores, isn't she?" Edie: "Oh, fantastic!" Harvey: "Carolyn, I swear..." Carolyn: "Shut up. I hope you're having a good time in there, whore, 'cause I got a bullet for you, too." Edie glares at Harvey, who shrugs. Bree's House Gabrielle is sitting on a bench in the backyard when Carlos comes outside and joins her. Carlos: "God, what a nightmare." Gabrielle: "You know what the weird part is?" Carlos: "What?" Gabrielle: "I keep thinking about that crazy lady in the market, and...I understand her. I, I could be her." Carlos: "Come on." Gabrielle: "No, I mean it. The rage that I have felt in these past six months...if I had had a gun in the courthouse today..." Carlos: "You could never shoot me." Gabrielle: "I don't know what I'm capable of anymore. This divorce has turned me into this bitter, hateful person, and I don't like her." Carlos: "Hey, baby." Gabrielle: "For what it's worth, I don't like what it's turned you into either." Carlos: "Then let's stop being those people." Gabrielle: "Okay." Carlos: "Okay." Gabrielle leans into Carlos, who rubs her back. Field's Market Parking Lot Susan and Tom are sitting off to the side together. Tom: "Hey, just so you know, I heard the woman in there teaches Sunday school." Susan: "Oh." Tom: "A Sunday school teacher would never hurt a kid. No way." Susan: "Thank you. I'm sure Lynette's gonna be fine, too." Tom: "Oh, I'm not worried about Lynette. Hell, with Lynette in there, they don't even need that negotiator. You put Lynette in a room with a woman who wants to shoot her husband, she'll have them renewing their vows." Susan: "Right. Lynette is very persuasive." Tom: "I give it an hour, tops. Then we'll all be back home eating our hamburgers. She was gonna go to the store tomorrow, but we were out of hamburger. And I wanted hamburgers." Susan puts her arm around him. Field's Market Nora is whispering to Lynette. Nora: "I hope all this is giving you a little perspective on our situation." Lynette: "Shh! She told us not to talk." Nora: "You're thinking about your kids, right? How awful it'd be to never see them again. Well, that's what you're asking me to feel, but for the rest of my life!" Lynette: "Nora, please!" Carolyn: "Hey, what'd I say?" Lynette: "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We'll, we'll be quiet." Carolyn: "You and your friend are really starting to bug me." Lynette: "She's not my friend." Nora: " She's trying to steal my kid." Lynette: "Nora, shut up!" Carolyn: "Is that true?" Lynette: "No! I, we're, we have, we're sharing custody, and then, she tried to seduce my husband, so..." Carolyn: "She put the moves on your husband? Why didn't you say so?" She turns the gun on Nora and shoots her. The other customers gasp and shriek. Field's Market Parking Lot Reporter: "That was a shot! We just heard a shot fired inside the building. A shot has been fired." Field's Market Carolyn: "I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'thank you.'" Field's Market Parking Lot Reporter: "We just had a shot. We heard a shot fired inside the market. You can see police are responding, taking this very seriously. We are going to just continue to stand and watch and wait and see what happens." Ian's limo pulls up and Ian runs up to Susan. They hug. Ian: "It was on the television at the airport. I came as soon as I could." Susan: "The last thing I said to her was that she disappointed me." She begins to cry. Bree's House The TV is still on. Reporter: "Police have just confirmed that a hostage has been shot. Repeat, a hostage has been shot. There's no word on the name of the victim at this time, but it is believed to be female." One of the twins comes up to Bree. Twin: "Mrs. Hodge? When's mommy gonna be back from the store?" Bree: "I'm sure she'll be back soon. Why don't we, uh, go have some cookies?" Parker: "Mommy said we can't have cookies before dinner." Bree: "Well, uh, I'm sure she won't mind. Come on. Let's go. Come on." Field's Market Art unwinds paper towels and hands them to Lynette, who presses them to Nora's bullet wound in her chest. Lynette: "Okay, I gotta keep the pressure up to stop the bleeding!" Nora: "Good news is you won't need that lawyer now." Lynette: "You are gonna get through this just fine. There is a parking lot full of ambulances out there. You gotta let us take her out of here!" Carolyn: "No one's leaving." Nora: "Listen to me, Lynette. About Kayla..." Lynette: "Oh, forget it! Forget it! We'll work that out later." Nora: "No, I don't have, have later, you stupid bitch. Okay? So listen." Lynette: "Okay, I'm listening." Nora: "Kayla's the only good thing that I've ever done in my whole life. I need you to really take really good care of her. Okay? I don't have all day. Come on." Lynette: "Yeah, yes, I will, I will, I will. I will love her like she is my own. I will, Nora. Nora? Nora!" Nora dies. Lynette, hands bloody, stares up at Carolyn. Carolyn: "Oh, don't look at me that way. You know you wanted her dead." Lynette: "How can you say that?" Carolyn: "Well, you told me about her and your husband after I made it pretty clear where I stand on whores." Lynette: "I did not want this. Don't you dare say that I wanted this." Carolyn: "Shut up!" Lynette: "No, I will not shut up! What's the matter with you?!" Carolyn: "Have you not been paying attention? My husband cheated on me!" Lynette: "Who cares?! Who cares? We all have pain! Everyone in here has pain, but we deal with it! We swallow it and get going with our lives! What we don't do is go around shooting strangers!" Carolyn: "She deserved it!" Lynette: "Well, maybe you deserved to be cheated on! I'm, I'm, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Carolyn: "Yeah, you shouldn't have." She aims the gun at Lynette, but Art takes a can from his shopping basket and throws it at Carolyn, knocking the gun out of her hand, but not before she shoots, hitting Lynette in the arm. Austin grabs Carolyn before she can grab the gun again and the two of them struggle. Somebody picks up the gun and Carolyn falls to the ground, dead. It's revealed that Jordan's mother is the one who pulled the trigger. Later, the hostages leave the market and run into the arms of their loved ones. Susan hugs Julie, who抯 safe. Edie and Austin walk out and Julie runs over and hugs him. Lynette is wheeled out on a gurney and Tom runs up to her. Their reunion is shown on TV and at Bree's house, Bree closes her eyes and bows her head. Hospital Lynette lies sleeping in her hospital bed, her arm in a sling. "Lynette Scavo had a dream that night. It was one she'd had many times before." Dream Lynette gets out of her car and sees Mary Alice standing on her lawn, looking at a letter she抯 holding. Lynette: "Hey! Mary Alice, are you okay?" Mary Alice: "Yes, thank you. I'm fine." Lynette: "Okay. I'll see you later." Lynette turns to go inside. "But this night, something changed." She turns back to Mary Alice and goes over to her. Lynette: "No, you're not. I can tell. Please, tell me what's wrong. Let me save you." Mary Alice: "You can't." Lynette: "Why not?" Mary Alice: "Sweetie, we can't prevent what we can't predict." Lynette: "Isn't there anything I can do?" Mary Alice: "Yes. Yes. You can enjoy this beautiful day. We get so few of them." They smile at each other and Lynette turns around, her face upturned to the sky. When she turns back around, Mary Alice has gone inside. "This was the last time Lynette would ever dream of me, and for her sake, I am grateful." ~ The End ~