Definition of a Football Fan
What is a football fan? The word “fan” is an abbreviation
of “fanatic,” meaning “an insane or crazy person.” In the case
of football fans, the term is appropriate. They behave insanely,
they are insane about the past, and they are insanely loyal.
Football fans wear their official team T-shirts and warm-up
jackets to the mall, the supermarket, the classroom, and even—if
they can get away with it—to work. If the team offers a giveaway
item, the fans rush to the stadium to claim the hat or sports bag
or water bottle that is being handed out that day. Baseball fans
go similarly nuts when their favorite teams give away some
attractive freebie. Football fans just plain behave insanely.
Even the fact that fans spend the coldest months of the year
huddling on icy metal benches in places like Chicago proves it.
In addition, football fans decorate their houses with
football-related items of every kind. To them, team bumper
stickers belong not only on car bumpers, but also on fireplace
mantels and front doors. When they go to a game, which they do
as often as possible, they also decorate their bodies. True
football fans not only put on their team jackets and grab their
pennants but also paint their heads to look like helmets or wear
glow-in-the-dark cheeseheads. At the game, these fans devote
enormous energy to trying to get a “wave” going.
Football fans are insanely fascinated by the past. They talk
about William “Refrigerator” Perry's 1985 Super Bowl touchdown
as though it had happened last week. They describe the “Fog Bowl”
as if dense fog had blanketed yesterday's game, not 1988's playoff
match between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Chicago Bears. They
excitedly discuss John Elway's final game before retiring—when
he won the 1999 Super Bowl and received MVP honors—as if it were
current news. And if you can't manage to get excited about such
ancient history, they look at you as though you were the insane
one.
Last of all, football fans are insanely loyal to the team of
their choice, often dangerously so. Should their beloved team lose
three in a row, fans may begin to react negatively as a way to
hide their broken hearts. They still obsessively watch each game
and spend the entire day afterward reading and listening to the
postgame commentary in newspapers, on TV sports segments, and on
sports radio. Further, this intense loyalty makes fans dangerous.
To anyone who dares to say to a loyal fan that another team has
better players or coaches or, God forbid, to anyone wandering near
the home cheering section wearing the jacket of the opposing team,
physical damage is a real possibility. Bloody noses, black eyes,
and broken bones are just some of the injuries inflicted on people
cheering the wrong team when fans are around. In 1997, one man
suffered a concussion at a game in Philadelphia when Eagles fans
beat him up for wearing a jacket with another team's insignia.
From February through August, football fans act like any other
human beings. They pay their taxes, take out the garbage, and
complain about the high cost of living. But when September rolls
around, the colors and radios go on, the record books come off
the shelves, and the devotion returns. For the true football fan,
another season of insanity has begun.
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