加菲猫2之双猫记 A.Tail.of.Two.Kitties 英语剧本

Once upon a time, in an English castle far, far away, there lived a pampered personage by the name of Prince. - All right, everyone, he's awake. - Hurry. Quickly. Get the Carlyle log. Prince knew no other life than a life of luxury. Did I mention that Prince was a cat? Good morning, Prince. Your tea. Brekkie. I have your favorite dish. Carlyle log. Lovely. Super. It's good to be the king. On the other side of the world, there lived an equally pampered cat who thought he was the king, but who ruled over a somewhat smaller domain. Meow. I'm the king of the cul-de-sac. That's what I'm talking about. Jon and I have everything I could ever want. Food in the fridge. Cable and satellite. And don't forget lasagna. That's right. It's good to be king. I want you to know you're the most important thing in my life. Let me sleep, please. Before I met you, my life had no meaning. I was incomplete. You still are, really. I guess what I'm trying to say is... will you marry me? Marriage. Well, this is kind of sudden. There may be some legal issues here. Look, I like you, but not as a spouse. Maybe as a servant we could stay together, make it work. So what do you say, Liz? Wait a second. Liz? Garfield. Liz is a girl. No, worse - she's a girl vet. - Turkey's ready. - I think Jon has touched bottom now. We gotta put an end to this torture. Time for a new DJ. Somebody take my temperature. Garfield. - Man, you have changed. - I can't have you messing this up for me. I get it. It's her. She doesn't like our music. Whatever happened to Jon, my metalhead guy, my dude? You were so much cooler when you wore a mullet. - Now stay here. - Far cooler. I suppose she likes this haircut? - Coming. - Tell me she likes it the way it is now. - Hey, Liz. - Jon, I have incredible news. Guess who's speaking at the fundraiser for the Royal Animal Conservancy. - Siegfried and Roy? - Come on. - Just Siegfried? - Jane Goodall dropped out 'cause she's nursing a sick chimp, and they asked me. It's gonna be at this really cool castle on a huge estate. I am flying to London tomorrow morning. Can you believe this? I have to pack. Are these rose petals and candles? Yeah, well, I have... I've some... some important news of my own. Me too. Excuse me. Do you believe in love at first sight? I was hoping you'd say yes. You have made me so very cat happy. - Come on. What's the news? - The news is, I... I finally house-trained Odie. - Really? - Yeah. That would explain the rose petals. I have to pack. I'm so sorry about dinner, but I will send your regards to the Queen. - Congratulations on Odie. - Yeah. And you too. They're lucky to have you. Bye. - I thought she'd never leave. - Garfield. You ate the whole turkey? - Well, yeah. - What are you doing with this? Never mind. It's too late. She's already off to... Good stuffing. Come on. Cheer up. I saved you the wishbone. - There's nothing I can do. - Return the ring. Get your money back. - Wait a minute. I'll go to London. - You poor sap. - She'll love it. She'll be surprised. - Tell me you won't. - She'll say yes. - Please don't. - I gotta go pack. - You moron. This is a huge mistake, Jon. One of your biggest. Don't roam. Stay home. Odie and l are notjust coming along for the ride, pal. This is actually an intervention. OK, guys. Here we are. Quick flight. We must have been in the jet stream. England is no great shakes. The buildings here look like the kennel back home. That is the kennel back home. They'll never take me alive. - They're gonna be fine, Jon. - Yeah. Garfield's never stayed in a kennel before. I'm afraid he might have some separation anxiety. No. He's probably fast asleep in his cage by now. You hear me, Warden? I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say can and will be held against me in a court of law. And I have the right to an attorney too, pal. And if I can't afford one, one must be provided for me by the court. Never mind. I just broke out. He likes a belly rub twice a day. If you could give him lasagna between each meal, that would be great. Almost forgot Pookie. He can't be without Pookie. Great. Just when things were looking up. Why don't you stay and get your fleas removed? Maybe get a brain transplant. Go away. Beat it. Hide beneath the wheels. You're ripping my fur. Get off. - Get in here. Get in. - You have my cell phone and hotel number? - Bye, now. - OK. Airport, and step on it. Jon won't mind if I repack him. We're gonna need some room in this bag. You savage beast. How dare you. Get out of here. Smithee. There's something in the pool, Smithee. - There's a duck in my pool, Smithee. A duck. - A duck, sir? Filthy wild animal soaking itself in my pool. - What do you intend doing about this? - I shall speak to the duck, sir. By the way, the solicitors are here to read Lady Eleanor's will. Excellent. In a few moments, I'll be the master of this entire estate. And from this day on, things will be done my way. This is the last will and testament of Lady Eleanor Carlyle of Carlyle Castle. ''I declare this to be my last will and testament ''which I make this first day of September...'' Keep still. They're reading Lady Eleanor's will. I've got a bad feeling about this. - If Lord Dargis gets the estate, we're done for. - Quiet. ''To my devoted Smithee: I make thee caretaker of my estate. ''Care for my beloved animal friends as you have in the past ''and you'll always have a home at Carlyle Castle.'' Thank you, madam. She's dead, Smithee. You can stop sucking up. ''The rest of my worldly possessions, my castle and grounds, ''I leave to the love of my life, ''somebody who was like a son to me...'' - Thank you, Aunt Eleanor. Thank you. - Please let me finish, Mr. Dargis. I'm sorry. I got a little ahead of myself. ''...like a son to me, I leave all my possessions ''to my beloved kitty, Prince the 12th.'' - Incredible. Entirely without precedent. - This is what it says. But I'm her nephew, her only heir. She can't have left it all to her cat. - I, Prince, the new lord of the castle? - Hurrah. Good show, Lady Eleanor. Bless her heart. - Can it be? We are delivered. - Thank you, Winston. The will clearly states that you may stay on at Carlyle Castle and receive your usual stipend of 50 pounds a week. 50 pounds? Upon Prince's passing, after what we assume will be a long and happy life, you will receive the castle, the land and your title. But that fat ball of fur could last for another 15 years. Let us hope so. The castle was built over 600 years ago by Lord Franklin Carlyle. Now, the initial structure is late medieval in style... - On this wing, we'll put the pool and spa. - Yes, and where would the squash courts be? - There he is. - That's unbelievable. Hello. Snap your photos. Unfortunately, I can but spare a few moments... Buddy, do you mind stepping aside? I can't get a good shot of the cat. Greetings, all. Hello. So glad. May I remind you this is private property. Relax, bro. It's not like you own the place. We shall see. To all the royal subjects, I give you the new possessor of Carlyle Castle, Prince Xll. To one and all, I pledge, from this day forward, to rule my kingdom with wisdom and valor. And as long as I reign, you shall continue to have safe haven here on the bountiful grounds of Carlyle. Thank you. That is all. Hurrah. Long live Prince. I think that went frightfully well, don't you, Winny? Sire, I hasten to remind you that Lord Dargis has every reason to get rid of you. Winny, pooh-pooh. I'm his favorite kitty cat. Hello, little Prince. What a beautiful day for a picnic, what? No, thanks, old boy. You just run along and enjoy yourself. What the devil...? So it's hide-and-seek you want to play? All right, I'll count to 100. - Hello, Rommel. - One, two, three, four, five... ...35, 36, 37, 38... ...96, 97, 98, 99, 100. All right. Fair warning. Ready or not, here I come. Bon voyage, Prince. Dear me. I may have misjudged the old boy. Perhaps he is somewhat of a scoundrel. After all, this is not the way one plays hide-and-seek. Blimey. - Will that be all, sir? - Yes. Thank you. - Thank you. - Thank you, sir. Wait. - How do I look? - Lovely, sir. No, see, I'm proposing to my girlfriend. She's staying down the hall. I want to make sure I look... Let's see, now. It needs a certain... May l, sir? There we are. Hugh Grant. Great. Could you deliver this to the girl in room 407? - Of course, sir. - And... And this. Cary Grant, sir. - Jon. - Hey. - Why are you here? - It's Fashion Week. Where else would I be? - This is incredible. I can't believe you're here. - So you're glad? Glad? I'm thrilled. But London? Did you come all the way here just for me? Yeah, it's nuts. In fact, I want us to be together... Odie. Come here. Air. Water. Lasagna. - Garfield? - That's the hello I get? 13 hours in a bag with a farting dog. There are quarantine laws here. Don't let Odie out of your sight. They might deport him. Deport Odie? I like this country already. OK. I'm gonna need a litter box, room-service menu and the TV remote - and in that order. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my office. Where are my clothes? Cool. My very own cat tub. Golly. Got it. Could have just come down and told me that. Listen up. Barnyard newsflash. I've got some good news and some bad news. - Which would you like first? - The bad news. Lord Dargis just threw Prince in the river. - OK, give me the good news. - He was in a lovely picnic basket. If he throws us in the river, we'll never survive. You're ducks. You can swim. - Winston, I'm next in line for the throne. - This could get ugly. - I have a list of new rules of governance. - I hardly think that's necessary. Rule number one. The barnyard animals congregate entirely too close to the castle. We house pets need our space. You've got enough space, laddie - right between your ears. Take that back. I command you, as your new king. There's still a chance Prince may find his way back here. In the meantime, Claudius, you get into the castle and find out what Dargis is up to. I'm on it. I'm your mouse on the inside. I'll see what I can learn from my end. - I want to do something more cultural. - OK. You're cold. Getting colder. You're an icicle. You're frozen stiff. Let's remind ourselves what we're looking for. It's a hamburger. A squeaky hamburger. - We'll take a walk through Hyde Park. - Excuse me? We walk? Then we stroll down the incredibly cultural Piccadilly. - Stroll? - And then Carnaby Street. Aren't we 40 years too late for Carnaby Street? No, luv, that's where all the swinging birds are. Well, then, we are definitely going to the British Museum. Any cuter, I'm gonna need a barf bag. - What are you doing? - I'm security, protecting you from yourself. You have caused enough trouble today. Now, you have food, water and company. - Which one is he? - Be good. Jon, you're delirious. Be careful. She's a man-eater. Oh, no. He's under her spell. OK, Odie, I'll give you one small clue. It's not in there. Prince? Where is that cat? Prince. Prince. Prince. Prince. Prince. Pull. Sir, have you by any chance seen Prince? I can't seem to find him anywhere. Oh, dear. You mean our little orange bundle of fun is missing? Pull. Crikey. The man's got a cannon. - And he's pointing it at us. - We're sitting ducks. Careful, sir. You wouldn't want to injure the creatures, would you? Run away. Course not. That would make me some kind of monster, wouldn't it? By the way, I've a little errand for you. Could you go to London, pick up my new suits at Willoughby's? Very good, sir. Pull. Can you imagine taking a nap on that table? Just lie there for hours and shed. The Queen's corgis, Milly and Tillie, returned from their world cruise with the Queen aboard her yacht. The animals suffered mild seasickness, but now are back to eating the finest calf's liver in the universe. Must be sweet. ''My tummy's upset. May I have some liver?'' - Boy, I wish Jon was a queen. - Housekeeping. OK, blockhead, time to bust out of here and catch up with Jon. First, let's grab some chow, before I eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. Sorry, we left a bit of a mess in the bathroom. Thanks. Keep your eyes peeled for a goofy-Iooking guy with a map. They're not up here. I'm coming down. Jon, Jon, Jon. Where's Waldo? Take the picture. Take it. Take the picture. Halt. Right face. Excuse me. Did you see a couple of people who looked like tourists? I know this drill. They won't crack up no matter what you do. Hey, freeze-frame, your knee's on fire. I know I can get this guy. Seriously, your zipper's down. Hey, dry goods. Anybody ever tell you you look like Tina Turner? - That was effective. - Her Majesty, the queen of England. What's all the hubbub? Attention. Hey, Odie, look. It's those royal corgis. Hey, lady. You got any leftover liver? Stuck-up little punk. I know she heard us. They had the top down. Odie? Odie, no, don't do the ugly American thing. The British are coming. Well, you made him crack, anyway. Disgusting. It's so smelly down here. I must get out. Hello. Can someone help a chap? I'm in the sewer. This is hopeless. We'll never find Jon. Face it, Odie, nobody cares whether we live or... Prince. I've found you. Oh, dear. Why is it the weird ones always go for the cat, not the dog? Odie, help, please. - Is that a cologne or a disinfectant, sir? - I just got you a special treat. Minced pie. Odie, call a cop. I mean bobby, orjimmy. Never mind, Odie. Don't bother. There's a pie here. I'll be just fine. Dear heavens. That was absolutely the most horrifying. But I'm alive. I'm alive. And covered in filth. Here, here. I must return to my throne. What ho? lndeed. Seeing me in this state must be shocking. I've lost my bearings. You must lead me with all due haste to the castle at Carlyle. But first I require a bath. Here, come on. Do you expect me to lick myself? Garfield? Odie? What are you doing here? Garfield? What the devil is a Garfield? What am I gonna do with you guys? Do you know how bad I would feel if I lost you here? From now on, I'm not letting you out of my sight, OK? Dear heaven. Why is it the weird ones always go for the cat and not the dog? - Bath time for you, buddy. - Well, that's the best news I've heard all day. The dog's not very bright. Where are you taking me? Somewhere lovely and special? Hey, Mario Andretti. You're driving on the wrong side of the road, and I've got an entire pie in my stomach. Don't worry, Prince. You'll feel better when we get back to Carlyle. Excuse me. Yes, hello. Hobbs here. Hobbs. This is Manfred Dargis here. A terrible thing has happened. Prince is missing. We've searched everywhere. - Prince is missing? - Missing? - This is a rather sudden development. - Actually, it's quite common. In the absence or, in this case, the death of an owner, it can be quite confusing and disorienting to a cat. Let's face it, the brain's the size of a gumball. All the same, it seems rather fishy to me. I don't particularly care what it seems to you. Legally, since he is gone, the title of the Carlyle estate falls to me. Am I not correct? Yes, very well. Goodbye. He's up to something. He's got some plan for the estate. And I want to find out what. - Miss Abby Westminster, I presume. - Lord Dargis. An absolute pleasure. Hello. I'm so pleased you've shown such an interest in our little enterprise. Well, my investors are very interested. - Cheers, dear. - To a long-Iasting business relationship. To Carlyle Resort and Spa. Allow me to introduce you to my dream. - What's this? - A state-of-the-art spa, meditation garden and, of course, luxury condominium. But what of the woodland and barnyard areas? Allow me. - If you would. - Very clever. No woodland. No barnyard area. Gone. So what will you do with all the animals? Let's just say, those we don't chase off we will serve up to the guests. I must alert the others at once. Bus driver, pull it over. I gotta pie belch coming up that might break your windows. Come on, Prince. Yeah. I used to be known as Prince, but you can just call me Gar... field. Wow. Get a load of this dump. Thanks. No pet door? Holy cow. I can hear my footsteps. Mom, Dad, I'm home. - Your Highness. - You talking to me, Froggy? It's me, your trusty servant Winston. Warning: I don't fight fair. I scratch and I bite. It's all right, sire. All is well now. - You're home. - Home? Retirement home? Happy home? What is this, an insane asylum? - Am I being kidnapped? - Very funny, sire. Your loyal subjects await you. They need to be comforted by your words. Trust me, windbag. There's no way I'm gonna give a speech to a bunch of strange... And then, following your words, a royal feast. I think I'm just gonna do a tight two minutes, see if that'll calm 'em down. Oyez. Prince Xll has returned. Thank you, windbag, for that slobbering introduction. Hello, everybody. Listen up. Is this an audience or a landscape? OK, great to be back here at the palace. I look out and I see a sea of dumb barnyard animals. I'm here in your country to break up a romance between the guy who owns the house I live in and a girl who's way out of his league. I know that whatever it is that you have, there's some sort of affliction that produces this glazed look behind your eyes. I hope you defeat it. I wish I could take every one of you home with me. Thank you. - I killed. - Very funny, sire. Well done. I didn't realize it was amateur hour. - What's up with Prince? - He's on the catnip again. - Chaps, have I got news for you! - What's the word, Claudius? Dargis is going to bulldoze the barnyard and feed us to the tourists. Let him try. He'll have to deal with these fists of fury, won't he? Calm yourselves, everybody. We're all right as long as Prince is alive. Well, obviously that feline is not Prince, you idiots. He's not even the cat formerly known as Prince. He doesn't have to be Prince. He just has to look like him. If he fooled me, he'll fool them. But what's to stop Dargis from getting rid of this cat too? McBunny is right. We must protect this cat at all costs. Our fates rely on it. Mr. and Mrs. Jon Arbuckle. Liz Arbuckle. Elizabeth Arbuckle. Listen, you dolt. There's been a coup d'etat. Attempted murder most foul. I am Prince Xll of Carlyle. You there, with the wise and thoughtful look. Hello. Convince this man there's been a mix-up. - Garfield, I want you in my wedding party. - Wedding party? - Think you can hold a basket of flowers? - Enough of the grooming, you dunce. My subjects face mortal jeopardy. Dog, approach. We must plan my escape, and I'm relying on your expedience and cunning. Okey-dokey. New plan. Call my pumpkin, windbag. I'm ready to roll. - Roll? Where to? - You know. To the hotel. To Jon. Your master? The one who's leaving you for his new wife? He's not leaving me. It's more of a temporary insanity thing. Garfield, your master's starting a new life. It's time for you to begin yours. Come on. I want to show you something. Do you have any idea what runs through your veins? - Yesterday's dinner, I guess. - Royal blood, sire. You are the long-Iost heir to the Carlyle throne. You kill me. These are your ancestors dating back 400 years. Mine? Wow. Like, I'm a royal cat? Of course. And anything you need is only a flick of your tail away. A flick of my tail? So if I said, ''Drool on your foot''... Not bad. How about, ''Roll over and whistle Dixie''?