PETS写作-有效的句子

nullWelcome to Writing in the Academic WorldWelcome to Writing in the Academic WorldInstructor: Scott SongChapter 3 Effective Sentences (1)Chapter 3 Effective Sentences (1)Unity Coherence Sentence variety Exercises1. Unity (P. 30)1. Unity (P. 30)What is Unity? Every sentence should contain a central idea (一致性原则). Examples Building could be constructed high to save land, and also some constructions are repetition. This sentence has two different ideas, so it is a poor sentence and confusing.idea oneidea twoUnityUnityIdentify whether the following sentences are good ones or lacking of unity. E.g. 1 English is difficult to learn and to become proficient we must use it often. Answer: lack of unity (exclusiveness of main idea, 主 题 快递公司问题件快递公司问题件货款处理关于圆的周长面积重点题型关于解方程组的题及答案关于南海问题 思想的唯一性) (and 连接 “to learn” 和“to become proficient”, 两者表达的意思不一致, 违背了主题思想的唯一性)UnityUnityHow do you revise it? English is difficult to learn and no one can learn it without effort. E.g. 2: Giving birth to a child, I found another job. Answer: lack of unity (relativity of main idea, 主题思想的相关性) “Giving birth to a child” 和 “I found another job”不相关,违背了主题思想的相关性.UnityUnityHow do you revise it? After giving birth to a child, I found another job. 加上了”after” 后,句子便有了时间的连贯和动作的顺承.2. Coherence 2. Coherence What is Coherence? Coherence means that parts of a sentence are arranged in such a way that they stick together for one central point(连贯性原则). How to achieve coherence? Use conjunction, repetition skills, and other transitional expressions.CoherenceCoherenceExample: Whenever a neighbor dropped in, it was a joy. How do you revise it? Whenever a neighbor dropped in, I (we, our family) felt a joy. The drop in of a neighbor brought great joy to the family. What does “it” refer to? It is not clear.CoherenceCoherenceExample: using transitional expressions such as conjunctions. The college campus is located in the center of the city, it is very easy for me to do my shopping. How do you revise it? Using coordinating conjunctions such as and, but , for, or, nor, so, yet to connect the two sentences.This two sentences have different ideas.CoherenceCoherence The college campus is located in the center of the city, so it is very easy for me to do my shopping.Now the relation of the two sentences become clear: it is a “cause and effect” relation.CoherenceCoherenceExample: My writing is good, my mathematics is not satisfactory. How do you revise the sentence with two independent clause? My writing is good, but my mathematics is not satisfactory.“but” introduces a “contradiction” relation for the two clauses.Coherence- ParallelismCoherence- Parallelism2.1 Parallelism Parallelism – using the same grammatical structure for all the items in a sentence that have the same function (平行结构原则: 是把两个或两个以上意思并列的成分用同等语法形式表达，如果意思上并列的成分用不同等的语法形式来表达，就破坏了其平行结构).Coherence- ParallelismCoherence- Parallelism平行的结构可以是单词、词组，也可以是从句甚至句子。 Examples: Honest, kind, helpful Keep us fit, make us energetic, protest us against illness I am from Shenzhen, I am a student, I want become a teacher after graduationCoherence-ParallelismCoherence-ParallelismExamples: He is honest, kind, and helpful. Doing exercise can keep us fit, make us energetic, and protect us against illness.“and”连接 三个结构相同的短语. “and”连接 三个词性相同的单词 Coherence-ParallelismCoherence-ParallelismExample: I want to tell you that I am from Shenzhen, that I am a student, and that I want become a teacher after graduation. “and”连接 三个that引导的宾语从句. Coherence - ParallelismCoherence - ParallelismExercise: find out the problem in the following sentences and correct the mistakes. 1. If a publisher rejects a novel, it is either because the story is unsaleable or the author is unknown. Answer: If a publisher rejects a novel, it is either because the story is unsaleable or because the author is unknown. Coherence - ParallelismCoherence - Parallelism2. Our new car not is only more user-friendly, but also it is more comfortable than our old one. Answer: Our new car is not only more user-friendly, but also more comfortable than our old one. either…or, neither…nor, not only…but also, both…and 等关联并列连接词（correlative conjunction）用于连接意思并列的成分，所以每个连词后所跟的成分必须有相同的语法形式。 Coherence -ReferenceCoherence -ReferenceWhat is reference? Reference is the cross relation of different parts within a sentence (指称一致性原则:是指句中指代成分和指称对象要一致). 代词包括: 人称代词(personal pronoun)和关系代词(relative pronoun) He, she, he, it, we, they, you… Which, that …Coherence -ReferenceCoherence -ReferenceExamples: A. Jane asked Mary if she could go to the party. How do you revise it? Jane asked Mary if Mary could go to the party. What does “she” refer to? It’s not clear. Coherence -ReferenceCoherence -ReferenceExamples: B. I threw his paper into the dustbin which annoyed him. C. I threw his paper into the dustbin, which annoyed him. What does “which” refer to in B and C, respectively?Which modifies the Whole sentence before comma.Which modifies “dustbin”.Coherence -ReferenceCoherence -ReferenceExamples: D. People are strongly opposed to the deceptive(欺骗性的) practice in medicine, which will do harm to the medical profession. E. Li Ming put the earrings and a new necklace into a box, which he would give to his girl friend.It is not clear what the non-restrictive clause is modifying.We don’t know what Li Ming would give to his girl friend.3. Sentence Variety3. Sentence VarietyWhat is sentence variety? Use different sentence structures to express different ideas (写作雖然句子以清晰為重，但是同時也要兼顧不同的句型，讓文章閱讀起來有所變化。) E.g. I got a part-time job last term. I taught English to a seven-year-old girl. This was my first time to work. I liked it. The work was not hard. I gave her lessons at her home once a week.Problems: Monotonous, “I” appears too often. Sentence Variety – Varied BeginningsSentence Variety – Varied Beginnings3.1 Varied Beginnings - choose different subjects with different structures of the sentences. There are eight choices: 3.1.1 prepositional Phrase E.g. He made a phone call. He then went to the cinema. a. Before going to the cinema, he made a phone call.Problem: Two subjects “he”.Now the sentence is varied with only one subject “he”.Sentence Variety – Varied BeginningsSentence Variety – Varied BeginningsE.g. You will get the letter. You will get it tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Revised: within a day or two you will get the letter. 3.1.2 Infinitive Phrase E.g. He wanted to find an answer, so he had consulted many books in the library. Revised: To find an answer, he had consulted many books in the library.Sentence Variety – Varied BeginningsSentence Variety – Varied Beginnings3.1.3 Participle Phrase E.g. When he felt tired, he went to bed early. Revised: Feeling tired, he went to bed early. E.g. Because they worked this way, they completed the construction ahead of time. Revised: Working this way, they completed the construction ahead of time.Sentence Variety – Varied BeginningsSentence Variety – Varied Beginnings3.1.4 Gerund E.g. People think that it is rather formal to use the family name. Revised: Using the family name is regarded as being rather formal. E.g. People usually use casual English to write to friends. Revised: Writing to friends typically uses casual English.Sentence Variety – Varied BeginningsSentence Variety – Varied Beginnings3.1.5 Adjective E.g. Because he was young and strong, he was the first to reach the top of the mountain. Revised: Young and strong, he was the first to reach the top of the mountain. Sentence Variety – Varied BeginningsSentence Variety – Varied BeginningsE.g. He wanted to please her, so he bought a bunch of flowers. Revised: Eager to please her, he bought a bunch of flowers. 3.1.6 Adverb E.g. I personally think I should have the holiday next week. Revised: Personally, I prefer to have the holiday next week.Sentence Variety – Varied BeginningsSentence Variety – Varied BeginningsE.g. He is really strange that he hasn’t been here for some time. Revised: Strangely, he hasn’t been here for some time 3.1.7 Subjective Clause E.g. He said something to me, which terrified me. Revised: What he said terrified me.Sentence Variety – Varied BeginningsSentence Variety – Varied BeginningsE.g. The reason for her to leave was still a mystery. Revised: Why she left remained a mystery. 3.1.8 Sentence Staring with It E.g. Men enjoy more power and wealth than women is quite certain. Revised: It is quite certain that Men enjoy more power and wealth than women. Sentence Variety – Varied BeginningsSentence Variety – Varied Beginnings3.2 Varied Structures See examples 3.22 Varied Style 1. Loose sentence (松散句) — 意义重心前移，开门见山传达句子主旨。因而，相对简单易懂，表达自然，直截了当。 Feature: the main idea comes first Sentence Variety – Varied BeginningsSentence Variety – Varied BeginningsE.g. She decided to study English though she was interested in music. The following is not a loose sentence. Though she was interested in music, She decided to study English. E.g. He is unhappy because he has to work overtime tonight. Because he has to work overtime tonight, He is unhappy. Main idea firstMain idea firstSentence Variety – Varied BeginningsSentence Variety – Varied Beginnings2. Periodic sentence (掉尾句) —意义重心后移，掉尾句给读者一个悬念直到读完句子才知道其中心思想，因而，相对较复杂，具有强调性、文学性，正式文体特点。 E.g. Though she was interested in music, she finally decided to study English. Create suspenseSentence Variety – Varied BeginningsSentence Variety – Varied BeginningsE.g. Because he has to work overtime tonight, He is unhappy. 3. Balanced sentence (平行句) —结构平行相似，意义相对。平行结构对照鲜明、节奏感强，因而印象深刻、悦耳动听。 E.g. The politician is concerned with successful elections, whereas the statesman is interested in the future of his people. Emphasize the causeSentence Variety – Varied BeginningsSentence Variety – Varied BeginningsE.g. The more you write, the more you can write.nullExercises