床头灯飘(Gone with the Wind)

GonewiththeWind飘CHAPTERONESixteen-year-oldScarlettO'Harajumpeddownfromherfather'scarriageandstoodstillforamoment.Shemadeherselfhair,smoothedherhair,andlookedathersurroundings,ScarlettandherfatherandsistershadjustarrivedatalargeplantationcalledTwelveOaks,whichbelongedtotheWilkesfamily.TheO’HarasalsoownedanearbyplantationwhichwascalledTara.ItwasnotasoldorbeautifulasTwelveOaks,butScarlettloveditjustasmuch.Itwasabeautifulspringdayintheyear1861,andtheWilkesfamilywashavingabarbecueparty.AsScarlettlookedaround,itseemedtoherthatallthepeopleintheAmericanstateofGeorgiahadbeeninvited.Thelarge,greenlawninfrontofthehousewasfilledwithtalkingandlaughing.Itwastooearlyforthebarbecuemealtobeeaten,butthewonderfulsmellofroostingporkandchickenfilledtheair.AsScarlettstoodinfrontofthecarriage,watchingherfatherandsistersgreettheothers,shecouldhardlywaitforthepartytobegin,ScarlettO'Harawasnotbeautiful,butmanymenandhoyswereinlovewithher.Therewassomethingveryprettyaboutherfacethough,withlongblackcurlsandlargegreeneyesthatlookedlikeacat's.Herwaistwastiny,andhersoftskinwaslikepeachesandcream.Onthisday,Scarletthadchosenherbestdressanddoneherhairespeciallynicely,becausetodaywasnotlikeotherdays.ThiswasthedaythatScarlettwouldfinallytellAshleyWilkesthetruthaboutherself:thatshewasinlovewithhim!WhensheenteredtheWilkes'house,thefirstthingScar­lettdidwastolookforAshley,butshedidnotsrchimany­where,However,herfriendsStuartandBrentTarletonhadseenScarlettarrive,andtheywentovertosayhello.StuartandBrent,whoweretwins,werecheerful,handsomeboyswhohadbeeninterestedinScarlettforyears.TheywereclearlyhappytoseeScarlett,andshepromisedthemmanydances.However,hermindwasonAshley.ScarlettcouldnotbelievethattherewaseveratimewhenshedidnotloveAshleyWilkes,theoldestchildofthewealthyandrespectedWilkesfamily.ScarlettandAshleyhadknowneachothersincetheywerechildren;theirfatherswereverygoodfriends.ScarletthadnotpaidmuchattentiontoAshleywhentheyweregrowingup;shehadthoughthewastooquietandserious.AndScarlettwasneitherquietnorserious!Butonedaytwoyearsago,AshleyhadreturnedfromalongstayinEuropeandhadcometovisitthe0’Haras.Scarletthadbeensittingontheporchwithheryoungersisters,SuellenandCarreen,whenherodeuponhishorse.Whenshesawhim,Scar­lettfeltherheartbegintopound.HowAshleyhadchanged!Hewashandsome,elegant,andmysterious.Eversincethatday,shehadlovedhimandwantedhim.ScarlettwantedAsh­leythewayshewantedairtobreathe,orfoodtoeat.Itwasadeepneed,andshecouldnotunderstandit.Butshedidnottry,becauseScarlettdidnotthinkaboutthingsverymuch.Shewasnotaseriousgirl,aridshedidnotunderstandpeopleandtheiremotions.Ashleywasnotliketheotherboyswhohadflirtedwithher,broughtherflowers,andaskedhertodancesandparties.Scarlettwasusedtobeingtheprettiestgirlatapartyandget­tingthemostattentionfromboys.Truthfully,Scarlettthoughtthatmenwerethemostinterestingthingintheworld.Shewasthesortofgirlwhodidnothavegirlfriends.Toher,othergirlswereenemiesinthesearchformen.ItwastruethatAshleyhadnevertoldScarletthelovedher.UnlikeScarlett,whousuallysaidexactlywhatshethought,Ashleywasquiet.Andyet,Scarlettknewthathelovedher.Itwasastrong,deepbeliefthathadnoreason.ButScarletthadseenthewayheoftenlookedather.Helookedatherasifhewasstarving,andshewasfood.TheselooksofAshley'ssentchillsdownScarlett’sback.Whyhadn'thetoldherthathelovedher?Scarlettcouldn'tunderstand.Butthen,therewerelotsofthingsaboutAshleythatshecouldn'tunderstand.Noonereallyknewhimverywell.Hewasjustasgoodatdancing,gambling,hunting,anddrinkingasanyoftheotherboyssheknew,yetAshleywasdifferent.Thesekindsofactivi­tieswerenotthegoaloflifetohim.Ashleyenjoyedmoreseri­ousthingslikemusic,booksandpoetry.Scarlettguessedthathedidnotwanttobearichplantationownerlikehisfather.Oh,whywashesointeresting?Hewaslikeacloseddoor,andshecouldn'tfindthekey.ManytimesScarletthadtriedtodiscoverthereasonwhyshelovedhim.Afterall,shethoughtbooksandpoetrywereboring.ThemysteryofAshleyburnedinScarlett'ssimpleheart.Thethingsabouthimthatshedidn'tunderstandonlymadeherwanthimmore.AlthoughScarlettappearedsmilingandhappyonthedayoftheparty,hermindandheartweredeeplyafraid.Thedaybefore,Scarletthadheardsomethingterrible:Ashleywassup­posedtomarryhiscousinMelanieHamiltonsomerimesoon.However,becauseScarlettbelievedthatAshleytrulylovedher,shehaddecidedtotakehimawayfromMelanie.ScarlettstoodintheWilkeshome,talkingtotheTarletonboysandherfriendCathleenCalvert,Suddenly,shenotifiedamanstaringatherwhomshehadneverseenbefore.Hedidnotlooklikealocalperson.Hewaswelldressedandlookedasifhecamefromthecity.Helookedaboutthirty-five,andwastall,strong,andveryhandsome.Hisskinwasdark,likeapi­rateS,andhisthick,curlyhairwasblack.Whenthemansawherlookingathim,hesmiledlikeawolf.Therewasalookofhumorinhiseyes.Scarlettcaughtherbreath."Goodheavens!Thatmanlooksasif—asifheknowswhat1looklikewithoutmyclotheson!“shethought,andsud­denlyturnedred.Shefeltasifsheshouldbeinsultedbythisman,butsomehowshewasnot.Seeingherconfusion,themansmiledevenwider,andturnedaway.ScarlettandCathleendecidedtogoupstairsandfixtheirhair."Nowyouboysstayhereandwaitforme.Don'tyougoanywhere,orI'llbeangry!"ScarlettsaidsweetlytoStuartandBrent.Bothboysstaredafterhereagerlyasshewalkedaway.Whilethetwogirlswerefixingtheirhair,ScarlettsaidtoCathleen,"Cathleen,whoisthatnastymandownstairs—thetallonewiththeblackhair?"Cathleensmiled."Darling,don'tyouknow?That'sRhettButler!He'sthemanwhomwe'veheardabout—theonewhowasforcedtoleavetheWestPointschool.Andnowpeoplearesayinghekilledamanbecauseofsometerriblesituationwithagirl.Really,he'sgottheworstreputation!”Asshespoke,CathleenlookedasifshethoughtRhettButler's"reputation”wasthebestthingshehadeverheardof.Scarlett,wholovedgossip,laughed."Cathy,whatdidhedowiththegirl?""Scarlett,didn'tyouhearaboutthis?Carolinetoldmeallaboutitlastsummer!Well,Mr.ButlerandthisgirlfromCharlestonwentoutridinginacarriagetogether.Andtheystayedoutallnight!Thenextmorningtheycamebacktoherfather'shouse,andRhettsaidthatthehorsehadrunawayandtheyhadgottenlostinthewoods—andMr.Butlerrefusedtomarryherafterallthat!”Cathleenlookedshocked.“Hesaidshewasastupidfoolandhehadn’tdoneanythingtoher,sotherewasn’tanyreasonwhyheshouldmarryher.Sothegirl’sbrothergotangryandhadaduelwithhim,andRhettkilledhim!That'swhyhehadtoleaveCharleston.Nownoonewho'simportantinsocietywillspeaktohim."Scarlettwasamazedandinterested.Shehadneverheardofanythingsoterrible!Inthosedays,young,innocentgirlswereveryinterestedinstoriesaboutmenandgirlswhohadbeen"bad."AlthoughScarlettwasnotgoingtospeaktoRhettButler,shesecretlyfeltrespectforhimforrefusingtomarryagirlwhowasafool.WhenScarlettwentdownstairssheranintoCharlesHamilton,Melanie'sbrother."Hello,MissScarlett/1hesaidshyly.Charleswasakind,quietboywithsoftbrownhairandlargebrowneyeslikeapuppy's.Hewasterriblyshywithgirls,andsohecouldnotbelieveitwhenScarlettspoketohim.ScarlettwantedtomakeAshleyjealous,incasehewaswatchingher.ShegaveCharleshersweetestsmileandsaid."Why,CharlesHamilton!DidyoucomehereallthewayfromAtlantajusttobreakmypoorlittleheart?"ScarlettputherhandonCharles'arm."Nowremembertositwithmeatthebarbecue-—youarejusttheboyIwanttotalkto!"Charlesdidnotknowwhattosay.BeautifulScarlettO'Hara,whocouldhaveanyboyshewanted,wastalkingtohim?Hefeltathousandtimestaller"Why…why,ofcourse1will,MissScarlett/'hesaid,andScarlettdancedaway.Allthroughthemorningandintotheafternoon,Scarletttalkedandlaughedwithmanyboys.Scarlett'sprettiness,herlaughter,andhercharmattractedsomanyboysthattheothergirlswerelookingatherangrily.However,insideshewasunhappy.ShehadonlyseenAshleyoncethatday.HeandMelaniehadwelcomedhertotheparty,butScarletthadnotseenhimalone.HewasalwayswithMelanie.Why?Now,asScarlettwatchedthem,MelanieandAshleyweresittingquietlyunderatreeandtalkingtogether.Melanie1splain,thinlittlefacewasshiningwithloveandhappiness.Scarlettwonderedwhattheyweretalkingabout.Probablybor­ingthings,likemusicandpoetry!MelanieHamiltonwasasmallgirlfromAtlantawhowasdeeplylovedbyeveryonewhomether,especiallyadults.Shehadakindheartandatrulysweetmanner.Melaniewasverydifferentfromotherpeople,becauseshealwaysthoughtthebestofeveryone.AsScarlettstaredatMelanie,fulloffearandjealousy,shehadtoadmitthattodayMelanielookedalmostpretty.Herpaleskinwasthecolorofroses,andherhugebrowneyesglowedasshestaredupatAshley.ScarlettdecidedshehadtotryhardertogetAshleytono­ticeher.SheflirtedwithCharlesHamiltonandtheTarletonboysaswell.ShehopedthattheboyswouldfightoverhersothatAshleywouldnotice,butheneverevenlookedinherdi­rectionasheandMelaniewalkedaway,arminarm.SoScarlettwasmiserable.SuddenlyshesawRhettButlerstaringatheragain.Therewasalookofcoolhumorinhiseyes.ScarletthadthestrangefeelingthatRhettknewexactlywhatwasbotheringher.Furi­ous,shetossedherblackcurlsandgavehimanangrylook.SuddenlyAshley'smothercameoutofthehouseandtoldeveryonethatitwastimefortheafternoonrest.Smilingattheboysaroundher,Scarlettgotupandwalkeduptothehouseslowlysothateveryonecouldadmireher.Asshewalked,Scarlettmadeafirmdecision.Shewouldsneakoutofthegirls’roomwheneveryonewasasleepandfindAshley.Shewouldtellhimshehadtotalktohim,andtheywouldgosome­wherealone.Then,shewouldtellhimhertruefeelings.SuddenlyScarlettheardsomeloud,angryconversationcomingfromagroupofmen,includingRhettButler,Ashley,andtheTarletonboys.TheywerediscussingthepossibilityofagreatwarwiththeNorthernAmericanstates.Thistopicboredalltheladies,especiallyScarlett.ButwhenScarlettheardRhettButlerspeaking,shestoppedtolisten.Shewascurioustohearwhathehadtosay.Hewastalkinginacalm,coolvoice."Haveanyofyoufine,Southerngentlementhoughtthatthere'snotachancewecanwinthiswar?AsNapoleononcesaid,'Godisontheaideofthestrongestarmy1—andwearenotstrong."“Sir,whatdoyoumean?"askedCharlesHamiltonangrily."Imeanthatwedon'thaveironorweaponsfacto-ries,liketheNorthdoes.Wedon'thaveasinglewarship.AllthemenintheSoutharetalkingthewayyouboysare—confidently,asifwecouldreallybeattheNorth.IamfromtheSouth,asyouallknow,butIhavespenttimeintheNorthaswell.Upthere,they'vegottonsofimmigrantsandfreeblackpeoplewhowillgladlyfightforthem.They'vegotplentyofsoldiers,food,andweapons.Allwehavehereiscotton,slaves,andtoomuchpride.”Rhettlaughedcoldly."Oh,butIamsurethatyougentlemenhavethoughtofthesethings,”hesaidsar­castically."Now,ifyougentlemenwillexcuseme,Iamgoinginside.""Whatishesaying...?Why,he'ssayingthatourSouthernboysarefools!”thoughtScarlett.ShewantedtofeelangryatRhettforspeakingbadlyoftheSouth,butasmallpartofherthoughtthathiswordsmadesense.Buttherewasmorewartalk.Quickly,sheturnedhermindbacktoAshley,andhurriedinside.CHAPTERTWOWhenScarlettwassurethatMelanieandtheothergirlswereasleep,shegotoutofherbedandwalkeddownstairs.ShelookedoutofawindowandsawAshleywalkingintothehouse—alone.Scarlett'sheartbegantopound.Nowwasherchance!AsAshleyopenedthedoorandsteppedintothehouse,Scarlettcameforward."Hello,Ashley.""Scarlett!"Ashleysmileddownatherwarmly."Ihaven'tseenyouallday—areyouhidingfromCharlesandtheTarletonboys?"hesaid."Aren'tyoutired?""No—no,I'mnottired,"saidScarlett,hervoiceshak­ing.Therewasahotglowinherfaceandastrong,determinedlookinhereyes.ShecouldseethatAshleywascurious."Ash­ley—Ihavetotalktoyou.Now."Ashleylookedsurprised."Why,Scarlett,what'sthemat­ter?Comeintothelibrary."Theywentintothecool,darklibraryandAshleyclosedthedoorbehindthem."Whatisityouwantedtotellme,Scar­lett?""Asecret…Iloveyou."ForalongmomentAshleylookedatherandsaidnothing.HestaredathersointenselythatScarlettthoughtshemightfaint."Oh,whydoesn'theanswerme!”shethought.Finallyhesmiled."Why,Scarlett,I’mhonored.You'vealwayshadmyheart,youknow."Hiswordsweretoocheerfulandhiseyeswerefullofpain,butScarlettdidnotnotice."Oh,Ashley,don'tteaseme,please!ImeanwhatIsay!IknowI'venevertoldyouuntilnow,but..."Scarlettdidn'tknowwhattosay.Whydidn'ttheyjuststoptalking,soAshleycouldkissher?"OhAshley,kissme!Iloveyou!I'vewaitedsolongforyou..."Scarlettleanedinclosetohim."Stopit,Scarlett!”Ashley'svoicewassoftbutharsh.andhishandsgrabbedherbytheshoulders."Youmustnotsaythesethings!You'llhateyourselfforsayingthem,andyou'llhatemeforhearingthem,Ipromiseyou!"Ashley,whatareyoutalkingabout?Icouldn'teverhateyou.IloveyouandIknowyoumustcareaboutmebecause..."Scarlettstoppedspeaking."Ashley,youdocareaboutme,don'tyou?Ashleyturnedawayfromher."Yes,"hesaidsoftly,asifspeakingtohimself."Ido.HowcouldInotloveyou?YouhaveallthepassionforlifethatIdonot."Scarlettwasspeechless.Itwastrue!Shehadbeenrightallalong!"Sc…then,you'llmarryme?Oh,Ashley!”Scarlettcried.Ashleyturnedaround."Scarlett,forgetIeversaidthat!We'regoingtoleavethisroomandforgetallaboutthiscon­versation,"“But...why,Ashley?Don'tyouwanttomarryme?"askedScarlett.Ashley'sfacewaswhite."Scarlett,"hesaid,"I'mgoingtomarryMelanie.Ishouldhavetoldyoubefore,butTthoughtyouknewaboutitmonthsago.Myfatherisgoingtoannounceourengagementtonightattheboil.Ineverthoughtthatyoufelt—youalwayshadsomanyboysaroundyou…”Hestoppedspeaking,staringatherunhappily.Scarletttriedtolistentohim,butshehadonlyunderstoodonething:whatshehadheardwastrue.AshleywasgoingtomarryMelanie,Ashleycontinued,"Oh,Scarlett,doyouhavetomakemesaythingsthatwillhurtyou?HowcanImakeyouunderstand?Wearetoodifferent.Youaretooyoungtoknowwhatmarriageis.”"Iknow1loveyou!”criedScarlett."Scarlett,loveisn'tenoughwhenpeoplearesodifferent。Youarethekindofgirlwhoneedsallofaman—hisbody,mind,soulandheart.And1couldn'tgiveyouallofme.Andifweweremarried,Scarlett,I'dmakeyouunhappyandbitterbecauseofthis.You'dcometohatemeasmuchasyouoncelovedrue.You'dhehurtbecausethebooksIreadandthepo­etry1wrotetookmeawayfromyou.Melanieislikeme.Shelovesthesamethings.""Doyouloveher?"Scarlettinterruptedangrily."Sheislikeme."Ashleylookedtiredandsad."Weun­derstandeachother.Scarlett,I'mbeggingyoutotryandun­derstand.Forgiveme,Ican'tmarryyou—Ineverintendedtomarryyou.""Butyousaidyoucaredaboutme"ListeningtoAshleysaythingswhichpulledherheartintwopieces,shewasbegin­ningtofeelangry."Andifyouweren'tgoingtomarryme,youwerealiartosayit!”"Scarlett,please.DidIevermakeyouthinkthatIwantedtomarryyou?""Youdid!Youknowyoudid!Whydon'tyousayit,youcoward?You'reafraidtomarryme!You'dratherspendtherestofyourlifewiththatshy,stupidlittlefoolwhowillneverdisagreewithyou!"Scarlettsaidfuriously."Youcan'ttalkthatwayaboutMelanie!”saidAshleysharply."Oh,Ican't.Bedamned!WhoareyoutotellmethatIcan't?Damnyou,Ashley!Youcoward,youliar!Youmademebelieveyouweregoingtomarryme…”"Scarlett,befair,"Ashleypleaded.Heheldouthishandstoher.Scarlettjumpedback."IshallhateyouuntilIdie,youno-good,awful—oh!”Shesuddenlyhithimhardacrosstheface.Forahorriblemomenttherewassilence.SuddenlyScar­lett’sangerwasgone,seeingthelookonAshley’sface.Helookedlikeamanwhowasdying.Silentlyhelefttheroom,closingthedoorbehindhim.Itwasover.CHAPTERTHREEScarlettstoodthere,tryingtounderstandwhathadjusthappened.Shewassofullofpainandangerthatshepickedupavaseandthrewitacrosstheroom.Itsmashedintomanypieces.Suddenlysheheardalaughcomefromacornerofthelibrary."This,"saidthevoice,isjusttoomuch."ScarlettturnedaroundquicklyandsawRhettButlersit­tingonacouch"What…it’syou!Wheredidyoucomefrom?”"Twastryingtotakeanap,mydear.Iwassadlydis­turbedwhenyouandyourgentlemanfriendcameinandinter­ruptedme.Isn'tyounglovewonderful?"Rhettsaid,smiling.Sothishorriblemanhadheardeverything."Youshouldhaveletmeknowyouwerehere,Mr.Butler,”Scarlettsaidcoldly."But,MissO'Hara,itwasyouwhodisturbedme!Iwasherefirst,mydear.IknowthatthoseyoungSouthernfoolsouttheredon'tlikeme,soIcameinheretotakeanap.”Scarlettwasgettingangryagain*"Don'tyouknowthatspies..."shebegan,butRhettinterruptedher.“Spies,MissO'Hara,oftenhearveryentertainingthings.Ihavehadmuchexperienceinspying.""Sir,"saidScarlett,"Youarenogentleman!”"Andyou.MissO'Hara,arenolady.AladywouldneverhavetreatedMr.Wilkesasyoudidjustnow.ButIdon'tlikeladies—theyareboring.Youareagirlofrarespiritandcourage.Iamfullofadmiration!Although,IcannotsayIun­derstandyourpreciousloveforAshleyWilkes.Iseenothinggoodinhimtolove—”"Oh,yourat!Why,youaren'tgoodenoughtocleanhisboots!”criedScarlett,redwithanger."Andyousaidyouweregoingtohatehimfortherestofyourlife!"Rhettsaid,burstingoutlaughing.Scarlettwantedtokillhim.Instead,sheliftedherheadandwalkedoutofthelibrary,slammingthedoorbehindher.Sheranupthestairsasfastasshecould,hopingthatnoonehadseenher.Asshewasabouttoentertheladies'restingroom,sheheardseveralgirlstalkingaboutherbehaviorwiththeboysearlierthatday.Scarlettwasangryandinsulted.Itwasn'therfaultifalltheothergirls'boyslikedher!Thisdaywasturningintoabaddream."I'vegottogethometoTara!”shethoughtdesperately."I'vegottogethome!”Shewantedhermother,Ellen,tocomforther.Thenthetruthofthesituationhither.Evenifshewenthome,itwoulddonogood!Ellencouldnotmakethisproblemgoaway.Somehow,shewouldhavetolearntodealwithAshleyandMelaniebeingmarried.ShewouldhavetoliveatTaraknowingwhathadhappenedbetweenherandAshleyintheli­brary.ShemighthavetoseeAshleyallthetime—itwastoohorribletothinkabout!SuddenlyshesawCharlesHamiltoncoiningintothehouse.Withoutknowingwhy,shewalkeddownthestairstohim.Hisfacewasredandhewasbreathinghard."It'swar,MissScarlett!TheGreatWaragainsttheNorthhasbegun!We'reallbecomingsoldiersandleavingforthebattles!"Sotherewasgoingtobeawarafterall,thoughtScarlett.Atthatmoment,Charleswasthinkingthatnoonecouldbesobeautiful.Hefoundallhiscourageandaskedbravely,"MissScarlett...Ihavesomethingtotellyou.Iloveyou!Willyoumarryme?"Scarlettstaredathim.Herhearthadgrowncoldandstillanditseemedthatafterthatday,shewouldneverfeelanythingagain.Inonesecond,shedecidedtosayyes.Charleswasal­mostengagedtoAshley’ssister,HoneyWilkes,butwhocaredaboutthat?Honeycouldfindanotherhusband.WhynotmarryCharles?Hewasjustasgoodasanyotherboy—better,even.ItmightevenhurtAshleyifIdo,thoughtScarlett.Oh,shewantedAshleytohurtthewayshedid!Soshesmiledsweetlyandsaidyes.CHAPTERFOURThiswasthemiddleofApril,1861.Theairwasfilledwithexcitement.EverymanandboyintheSouthwaftfilledwithafiercedesiretofighttheNorth,andev­eryonebelievedthatonebattlewouldendthewar.Becausealltheboyswouldsoonhegoingofftowar,everyonehurriedtomarryhisgirlbeforejoiningthearmy.AshleyandMelanie'sweddingdatehadbeensetonthefirstdayofMay,WhenScarlettdiscoveredthis,shedecidedtomarryCharlesonApril30,thedaybefore.Scarlett'sfather,Gerald,andhermotherEllenwereverypleasedwiththemar­riage,althoughtheydidnotunderstandwhytheirdaughterhadsuddenlyfalleninlovewithCharlesHamilton.Sowithintwoweeks,Scarlettwasawife.Butwithintwomonths,shewasawidow.AweekaftershemarriedCharles,heandAshleylefttojoinColonelWadeHamptonandhismen.Forfiveweeks,ScarlettreceivedmanylettersfromCharles,HetoldherofhisrespectforColonelHampton,hisloveforher,andhisdesiretobecomeawarhero.Butoneafternoon,Scar­lettreceivedaletterfromColonelHamptonhimself:Charleswasdead.Hehaddiedofafeverwhileincamp."HeneverevengottokillaNortherner!”thoughtScarlett.ItwasduringthistimethatScarlettdiscoveredthatshewaspregnant.Whenshefoundout,shewantedtodie.Ababy!Charl