AS THE CROW FLIES - angusmacfadyen.com

AS THE CROW FLIES - angusmacfadyen.com AS THE CROW FLIES "Hand that feeds Ye" Written by Angus Macfadyen TEASER FADE IN: EXT. ROAD - EARLY MORNING Flash of bright yellow, sound of labored exertion. Quick cuts of feet pumping away at the pedals of a bike. HAMISH MACLEAN is furiously exerting himself up a steep hill, dressed in full Tour de France regalia. Now he?s coasting down another. He slowly brakes to a standstill. INT. BEDROOM - MORNING AENEAS OG, a man with a thick beard, opens his eyes. Stares at the pale ceiling. Turns his head and looks out the window, catching out of the corner of his eye, a figure on a bike, staring down at him. The wind howls eerily across the heather in the subdued morning light. EXT. ISLAND HOUSE - EARLY MORNING Hamish looks down upon the building and just watches it, without expression, catching his breath. INT. ISLAND HOUSE - CONTINUOUS Hearing a noise downstairs, Aeneas looks away. When he turns back to the window, the figure on the bike is gone. The wind remains. INT. KITCHEN - MORNING Aeneas Og, now dressed in jeans, a thick sweater, hiking boots and a beanie, prepares his coffee. As the kettle begins to whistle, he watches the birds outside, scratching his thick beard. He leaves frame. The kettle whistles. Outside the window, in the garden, Aeneas enters frame and begins to disperse handfuls of bread crumbs for the birds. The kettle whistles. He exits frame. Re-entering frame inside the kitchen again, he turns off the gas and the kettle goes silent. A cell phone goes off. Aeneas answers it while pouring water into a coffee jug. AENEAS Aye. A voice talks into his ear. He stares at the birds congregating... AENEAS What do you mean, strange? Hey! He shouts suddenly. Exits frame. AENEAS (V.O.) No, not you, it?s the cat... We see him outside the window again, chasing away an unseen cat. AENEAS The cat is after the birds again. Look, I?ll be right over. He exits the frame and re-enters frame inside the kitchen. Talking to an unseen cat we hearing meowing hungrily. AENEAS Aye, I know, its your nature. Not you, Hamish, the cat. Where are you? Colin Macdonald?s croft? I?ll be there in fifteen minutes. He hangs up and feeds the cat on the counter. She purrs as she feeds. He strokes her and pours his coffee, black. MOTHER (V.O.) Aeneas? AENEAS Aye. MOTHER Don?t forget the shopping list. AENEAS Got it. Notices the shopping list pinned to the wall. Sipping his coffee, he plucks it off the wall and puts it in his pocket, leaving frame. INT. CAR, ISLE OF EILEAN - MORNING Still sipping his coffee, Aeneas Og drives. 2. EXT. ROAD, ISLE OF EILEAN - MORNING The car drives by at a leisurely pace. EXT. COLIN MACDONALD?S CROFT - MORNING Aeneas Og pulls up in his car and steps out. He is greeted by Sergeant Hamish Maclean, still in Tour de France mountain bike gear. He honestly does look out of place for a policeman. Well, for any man, in this environment. HAMISH Morning, Detective Inspector Og. AENEAS Morning, Sergeant Maclean. HAMISH Like I said, strange. He says he was attacked jus? before dawn as he was getting ready to go out an? feed the cows. They enter the garage. Crofter Colin Macdonald, slumped on a hay bale, next to his tractor, holding his arm close to his chest. AENEAS Morning Colin. The crofter does not respond. Just looks at him with strange eyes. AENEAS The doctor? HAMISH We called, got an answer phone. AENEAS Keep trying. How are you, Colin? The crofter just stares at him. Holding his arm close to his chest. HAMISH He?s been acting a wee bit doolally. AENEAS Can I see your hand, Colin? Aeneas reaches out but the old crofter immediately shrinks back and snarls. 3. Hamish and Aeneas stop and glance at each other. HAMISH Did he just snarl at us? Just as suddenly, Macdonald snaps out of it and holds out his arm, pleading. COLIN MACDONALD Came at me with his teeth. Sunk „em right into me. See? Then just fled intae the night. Aeneas looks at the hand. Teeth mark punctures, very sore looking. AENEAS We?ll get that taken care of right away, Colin. You didn?t get a look at his face did you? The crofter shakes his head and sinks back into a strange reverie. His collie dog bounds up and begins to lick the wound. Colin pays no attention. Then he notices his dog. Starts to growl at him. The dog pulls back and bares his fangs. Aeneas and Hamish look at each other, unsettled. AENEAS What? HAMISH Well? AENEAS Well what? They look back at Macdonald. Is that him foaming at the corner of his mouth? FADE OUT. END OF TEASER 4. ACT ONE FADE IN: EXT. COLIN MACDONALD?S CROFT - MORNING Hamish is handing over to a very pretty policewoman in uniform, Police constable SARAH KNOX. Aeneas stares out across the rolling fields and into the distance, where the Northern winds are whipping up an angry froth upon the glistening black sea rocks. Hamish makes his way towards Aeneas. In the background, Sarah smiles at Aeneas and waves. SARAH Morning, detective inspector. Hamish glances back then winks at Aeneas. HAMISH Another one bites the dust? Aeneas ignores this and gets into his car. Hamish leans down. HAMISH Mind if I get a lift? AENEAS You?ve taken up cycling? Hamish grabs his twelve speed racing bike and begins to stuff it into the trunk of the car. HAMISH How d?ye think I keep my girlish figure, Mr. Og? Things they have a changed around here since you been gone. INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS He climbs into the passenger seat and slams the door cheerfully, singing. HAMISH “Since you?ve been gone, since you?ve been gone, I?m outta my head, can?t take it.” Aeneas sighs, and starts the engine. 5. HAMISH Am I annoying ye? It?s the fresh air. All this fresh air! He breathes deep. HAMISH Is that why you came back, Aeneas? All this fresh air? Miss yer ma?s home cooking or something? AENEAS Belt up. HAMISH Eh? AENEAS Put your seat belt on. HAMISH Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts, we are experiencing some turbulence. Its all this fresh air ladies and gents. Did I forget to say this is yer co-pilot speaking? Detective Inspector Aeneas Og backs up carefully, past police constable Sarah Knox, who smiles again. SARAH See you back at the station then. They pull away. HAMISH Right you are, constable Knox. She?s smashin?. Isn?t she? Come on, tell me she isn?t smashin?. She?s gorgeous. Usual story. All the girls only got eyes for Inspector Silenzio here. Slim pickin?s, Aeneas, plenty a? fresh air, but prime Scottish rump like that? Best grab that off the shelf while ye can. AENEAS Women?s emancipation not reached this far north yet? HAMISH Again, in English! 6. AENEAS “Prime Scottish rump”. If I were a woman I?d be offended by that remark. HAMISH If you were a woman, I?d be offended too. His mobile phone is ringing. Hamish has grabbed it. HAMISH Hello, you have reached a recording of Sergeant Hamish Maclean?s voice, this is not he. Please leave him a message after the loud farting noise. Just kiddin?, its me, go on then. He listens. Aeneas drives through the countryside. HAMISH Turnbull?s pig? The prize pig? Right you are. We?ll be there in a few. (hangs up) Step on it miss Moneypenny, we?ve a case to solve. You know Turnbull? AENEAS Ian Turnbull? HAMISH Right. No Alistair, his brother. AENEAS Alistair? HAMISH Aye, Alistair, no Ian. Ian went off prospecting for gold in Guatemala, oh, three, four years back. Anyway, Ian?s called in „cause his prize pig has gone missing. This could be the big one, batman. AENEAS You mean Alistair. HAMISH Eh? AENEAS Alistair called in. Ian?s in Nicaragua. 7. HAMISH Aye, that?s what I said. Alistair?s in Guatemala. You said Nicaragua. AENEAS I said Nicaragua? HAMISH Aye, Ian?s in Nicaragua, but it?s Alistair who?s in Nicaragua. AENEAS Guatemala. He?s in Guatemala. HAMISH Who is? AENEAS Alistair. HAMISH I?m confused. They drive for a while in silence. Hamish is preoccupied, then... HAMISH Did you think that was a wee bit odd? AENEAS Odd. HAMISH Aye, Colin Macdonald?s dog. Obviously bit him on the hand, but why wouldn?t he just say it? Why go to the bother of dragging us out to the croft and spinning a yarn about some interloper.... AENEAS Maybe he was in shock. HAMISH Right you are... But his tone makes us understand he doesn?t believe it. Aeneas drives. HAMISH You gonnae see Moira now that you?re back? Aeneas just looks at him. 8. AENEAS Why? HAMISH Why what? AENEAS Why don?t you mind yer own business. Hamish lets out a sigh. Silence. HAMISH Guess you heard then. AENEAS Heard what? Hamish looks at him, trying to gauge what he knows. HAMISH Well you tell me what you?ve heard and then I?ll tell you if you heard right. AENEAS Still the smart ass, eh, Hamish? HAMISH Is it me or is the tension palpable in the batmobile this fine, rain splattered morning? Must be all this fresh air! Seriously though, why?d you come back to the island, old man? Long pause as he drives. Is he going to answer? AENEAS You won?t tell a soul if I let you in on a secret? HAMISH No. Aeneas looks at him. HAMISH No, I swear. Who?m I gonnae tell, besides, you know me, I can keep a secret better than most. Discretion is the better part of valor. My trout pouts are sealed. AENEAS Came back for the fresh air, Hamish. 9. Now Hamish studies him. HAMISH Hey, Aeneas. Do you wannae know why I ride my bike those twelve miles to work every day, come rain or sleet, looking like a french condom? Aeneas glances over at him. And SMILES. For the first time. AENEAS You?re a very strange man, Hamish Maclean. HAMISH Aye, but do you wannae know why I choose to look like an elephant?s sphincter each and every day of my pathetic life? They drive. He belts out a song. HAMISH “Because I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.” EXT. ROAD, ISLE OF EILEAN - MORNING A bus load of tourists taking photos on the bus, some of them have oozed out onto the road, loudly complaining about the sheep blocking the road. TOURIST 1 (in French) Incredible! Can?t they move? TOURIST 2 (in French; English subtitles) What are you going to do? A sheep is a sheep, all the world over. AENEAS and HAMISH exit their car. TOURIST 1 Ah, finally, mister policeman, are you going to move these animals along? TOURIST 3 Jean Jacques, Merde! Watch out for the merde! 10. TOURIST 1 Nothing to be done? TOURIST 3 Nothing. TOURIST 1 You?d think we were in a Samuel Beckett play. Aeneas scratches his head. Hamish takes his bike out the back. Aeneas gives him a look. HAMISH Brains and beauty too. See you at the station. AENEAS Are you going to stop by Ian Turnbull?s croft and get a photo of his prize pig? HAMISH Alistair! AENEAS Eh? HAMISH Ian Turnbull?s in Guatemala. Or is it bloody Nicaragua? A scream. One of the tourists is being charged by a ram. Pandemonium. Hamish is cycling away. HAMISH Welcome back to the island, detective inspector. “Our doors are never locked!” EXT. ROAD, ISLE OF EILEAN - CONTINUOUS Aeneas trying to deal with the stubborn nature of sheep. DISSOLVE TO: SERIES OF SHOTS: A) He chases them off the road, but some inevitably return. B) Aeneas grabs one by the head and wrestles it off the road, it bucks him and he falls flat into a pile of sheep shit. The tourists laugh. 11. C) Aeneas muddier and muddier, struggling with the sheep as the bus driver and tourists look on, taking photos, commenting. Some applaud D). The bus drives away, leaving Aeneas in a muddy mess. The sheep stand grazing by the side of the road, eyeing him suspiciously. He shakes his head. Wipes shit off his jacket. INT. CAR - MORNING Aeneas, still muddy is driving past a pub, he slows down and pulls onto the gravel parking. EXT. THE EILEAN INN - CONTINUOUS Aeneas slides out of the car. He enters the pub, outside which there is a flurry of early morning activity; crates of bottles being emptied from a truck, and other crates of empties ready to be carted away. Also food deliveries, being dropped for the lunch service. A pretty woman is directing in a Scots-Polish accent. SOFIA Don?t break another bottle or I break your testicle. Hello detective inspector. AENEAS Morning, Sofia. INT. THE EILEAN INN - CONTINUOUS The pub owner, DUNCAN DUNCANSON, a short fellow with irrepressible energy, calls out to Aeneas. DUNCAN Aeneas! Over here! AENEAS Just got to use your bathroom, Duncan. DUNCAN Over here! He waves him over insistently to the bar. Aeneas changes direction and heads to the bar. A man in a sable fur coat with a wave of dyed red hair stands with his back to Aeneas. DUNCAN Allow me Aeneas to introduce you to Mr. Trump here. Robert Trump. Donald Trump?s brother. 12. The big man turns, he removes an unlit cigar from his plump lips and puts down the dram of whisky he has been sipping. TRUMP You?re fired. DUNCAN Mr. Trump is buying the pub off me Aeneas. Pub, Hotel. Whole kit an? kaboodle. AENEAS Is that right? TRUMP Yeah. I?m here with my brother?s power of attorney. DUNCAN And at a pretty penny too. TRUMP Yep. We?re gonna be extending our interests this far north. You?ve got some great wilderness around here. You know what I see, Anus? AENEAS Aeneas. Aeneas can?t stop staring at the drooping swish of red hair that seems to defy gravity by hanging like a blow dried tabby across his forehead. Its distracting. Trump leans in. AENEAS Eh. No. TRUMP Golf courses. He stands back, impressed with his vision, indifferent to all differences of opinion. TRUMP Golf courses. Casinos. And malls. See we?re not just buying this pub, Duncan. DUNCAN Aye. Ye are. 13. TRUMP We?re buying history, man. We?re gonna build an Eilean Inn every mile along the road, in every mall we build and rename it “The Bonnie Prince Charlie”. DUNCAN Well, you should keep the name. TRUMP Eilean Inn? Eilean Inn, what in the hell is that? How do you even say that? Sounds like someone?s got a disease. DUNCAN We like it. TRUMP I don?t. I like the color of envy. Because its green, like money. Like the golf courses of my mind. He lights his cigar. DUNCAN Eh. TRUMP And golden towers erupt, Anus. AENEAS Aeneas. DUNCAN Mister Trump, there?s no smoking here. TRUMP Kinda name is that? AENEAS Its ancient Greek. TRUMP Greek? DUNCAN Mister Trump? TRUMP Duncan, what? Duncan points apologetically to the sign. 14. DUNCAN No smoking. TRUMP Those laws weren?t made for my Scotch ass, Duncanson. He puffs away, blowing smoke in Aeneas? face. DUNCAN Aye but, you see this man here. He?s the island inspector. Trump looks at the shit stained figure of Aeneas. TRUMP Garbage inspector. Inspecting toilets? DUNCAN No sir. TRUMP You?re Greek? AENEAS Detective inspector. Put out the cigar please. Aeneas has taken out his badge. Long pause. Trump looks into Aeneas? eyes, puzzled. Will this man be a problem to him? Does he not like money? Slowly he puts out the cigar, reaches out his enormous paw. Shakes Aeneas? hand. TRUMP I like Greeks. Greeks gave us law. I?m a man of the law. Another round, Duncan. What?ll it be, Kojak? Ouzo? Duncan pours Trump another shot of malt. Without even looking at Duncan, he takes the bottle. TRUMP Forget the serving shot, Duncan Duncanson. We?re all men of gargantuan appetites here. AENEAS If you?ll excuse me, I?ve really got to.... 15. TRUMP You?ll have a dram with me. AENEAS It?s early. I?m on duty. Aeneas is backing away. Trump laughs. TRUMP The Greeks invented it! Aeneas slips into the toilets. Trump raises his glass. INT. THE EILEAN INN PUB TOILETS - MOMENTS LATER Aeneas throws water on his face. Stares at himself in the mirror for a beat. Wipes away a mud stain from his neck. Music starts to play. “I put a spell on you” by Screamin? Jay Hawkins. INT. CAR - LATER Aeneas sits in his car, staking out a house. EXT. CAR - CONTINUOUS Angle on the house. A small semi detached building, which has seen better days. The door opens and a woman exits, with a man, locking the door behind her. Aeneas sinks down in his seat, not wanting to be seen. The man is Hamish. He kisses her on the lips affectionately, and goes his separate way. She walks along the other side of the street. Along the way, she hands out leaflets to islanders INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS Aeneas turns on the engine and follows her at a distance. She turns a corner. He stops at the corner and watches her walk away. EXT. EILEAN SUPERMARKET - MOMENTS LATER Outside the market, more activity, crates of fruits and vegetables being unloaded from trucks by busy delivery men. The woman stops to pin a large poster on the window, then she enters the store. Aeneas pulls up into the car park and turns off the engine. The music stops. 16. EXT. EALEIN SUPERMARKET - CONTINUOUS Aeneas stares at the poster: SCOTLAND FOR SCOTS; VOTE FOR INDEPENDENCE. He enters the market. INT. EILEAN SUPERMARKET - MOMENTS LATER Now replaced by the innocuous blare of supermarket music, but its still the same tune, easy listening style. Aeneas enters cautiously. The woman is nowhere to be seen. He wanders along the aisles, peering around corners. Sees her. Stops. Stands there, in a state of paralysis. Until she rounds the corner, almost knocking into him with her trolley. She stops. There is a silence. Aeneas can?t look at her. He fishes in his pocket for his grocery list which he suddenly remembers and holds it up with a diffident grin. MOIRA You?re back. AENEAS Aye. Another silence. AENEAS Just picking up some groceries for the folks. MOIRA How are they? AENEAS Aye, they?re fine. You? MOIRA I?m fine. AENEAS Grand. That?s... A pause. She starts to move past him. MOIRA I?ve got to go. AENEAS Moira. His voice stops her. She looks at him. He tries but can?t return her stare. 17. AENEAS See you around? MOIRA Why? And she?s off. Aeneas stares after her til she disappears around a corner of the market. He looks down at his list. Coffee. Milk. Frozen pizza. Pound of mince. Biscuits. STORE MANAGER Is there anything wrong, detective inspector Og? Aeneas looks up. The sixty year old manager peers over his half moon specs. AENEAS I...uh... He looks down at his list. STORE MANAGER Lachlan, get over here. He waves his emotionally disturbed middle aged son over. STORE MANAGER This is my lad, Lachlan. He?ll help you find everything. You see, we?ve changed the layout since you were last here. Lachlan. The manager urges him into action. The unkempt man-child begins to deliver an ill digested speech which his father has drilled into him. LACHLAN Good morning, sir. Welcome to the Eilean superstore, and how are you today? AENEAS Fine. LACHLAN And how can I be of assistance, my good sir? STORE MANAGER The list, Lachlan. Take the list. Lachlan looks at his father anxiously and takes the list. 18. LACHLAN Eh, biscuits, that?ll be this aisle here. Aisle two. And we?ve got the coffee too, in aisle two, is that instant coffee you?ll be wanting or beans? But Aeneas just stares at him, making him even more edgy. He drops the list but doesn?t seem to notice, and begins to giggle nervously. His father admonishes him. STORE MANAGER Och Lachlan, the list. The list! Stop giggling, you useless boy! The man-child suddenly panics and belts out the store with childish fury. LACHLAN Fuck off! STORE MANAGER Lachlan? Lachlan! He picks up the list apologetically. STORE MANAGER I can?t imagine what the devil has gotten intae him. Sorry aboot that. Lets see now. Cloned mince. That?s right over here in aisle three, cloned goods. The manager walks away. Aeneas follows him, his head coming back down to earth, staring at the door the boy just ran out of. There, by the exit, is Moira, at the check out counter, buying her provisions. She is staring at him. FADE OUT. END OF ACT ONE 19. ACT TWO FADE IN: EXT. EILEAN POLICE STATION - AFTERNOON Establishing shot of the humble abode where our coppers work. Yet again, signs of the twenty first century hustle and bustle on this rather antiquated island, a delivery man is dropping off some large plastic bottles for the water cooler. INT. EILEAN POLICE STATION, CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS The police team sits around a desk, sipping coffee. (This scene should have the style of Criminal Minds and CSI, camera circling our intrepid team in a visually exciting style.) Aeneas Og, Hamish Maclean (now in work clothes), Sarah Knox, DAVY CAMPBELL, a young handsome boy who mans the station, are waiting to go over the day?s events. Davy is flirting with Sarah. Hamish watches them, and fires surreptitious paper pellets at Davy, who knows its him but ignores him completely. Meanwhile Sarah is grabbing glances of Aeneas, who sits there, clothes still covered in mud. In walks CHIEF INSPECTOR KENNETH DRUMMOND, a tired looking man. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Alright, eyes forward. What have we got on our plate today? DAVY CAMPBELL Got a call this morning from Ian Turnbull about his pig. HAMISH Alistair. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Hamish? HAMISH Its Alistair. Ian?s in Panama prospecting for gold. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Right you are. Davy? DAVY CAMPBELL Alistair then. Has anyone been over there yet? He?s called six times. Alistair?s a wee bit upset. Says there?s a ransom note. 20. SARAH I have. Got the note. Quote. “We have the pig. If you want to see Esmerelda. Alive. Again. It will cost you. Do not contact the police. We will be in touch.” She pins the note on the board. Silence. Sniggers. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Is this a bloody joke? Everyone looks around at Hamish. He shrugs. HAMISH I swear on my goldfishes? lives. Not me. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Right. Kidnapping is no laughing matter. He sighs deeply. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Jesus Christ. Anything else? SARAH I also got a photo of the pig. HAMISH Oh, well done, Sarah. She pins a photo of the prize winning pig on the wall, an enormous creature, held by a smiling Alistair Turnbull, and pokes her tongue at Hamish. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND What about the Macdonald incident? Aeneas? AENEAS We think the dog bit him. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Ah ha. AENEAS I?ve asked the vet to have the dog checked for rabies. 21. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Right. Follow up on the dog, make sure he?s had his shots, and can we get the photo of the pig online and displayed at the school and supermarket across the island. Sounds like a schoolboy prank to me. Who?s going to do that? Hamish puts up his arm. HAMISH I will. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Snoop around. Ask questions. Flush out the truth, sergeant Maclean. HAMISH Aye aye chief inspector. The truth is the truth. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Shut up. What else? HAMISH Och, the usual friday night squabbles. CUT TO: EXT. EILEAN INN - LAST NIGHT Two twin girls go at it, too drunk to even do too much damage. Much screaming and pulling of hair. CUT TO: INT. EILEAN POLICE STATION, HOLDING CELL - THIS MORNING The twins sit hung-over in a cell, battered and bruised, in need of a cup of tea. They can barely lift their heads to needle one another. HAMISH (V.O.) The Mackenzie twins still drying out downstairs in the cell, usual stuff. TWIN 1 Piss off. TWIN 2 Wanker. 22. INT. EILEAN POLICE STATION, CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS HAMISH Also, car in a ditch, over by Eilean Loch, no injuries. CUT TO: EXT. ROAD, EILEAN ISLAND - DAY A car sits there in a ditch, abandoned. Sound of the wind blowing through the open windows. A flock of sheep sniff at the car curiously. INT. EILEAN POLICE STATION, CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Anything else? SARAH Oh, some of the local kids have gone and painted over the harbour signs again. CUT TO: EXT. HARBOUR, EILEAN ISLAND - DAY A road sign, says “THANK YOU FOR VISITING Eilean ISLAND: OUR DOORS WERE NEVER LOCKED”. Scrawled over it in red, “YER WIVES AND DAUGHTERS WERE MUCH APPRECIATED. THANKS!”. In the background, the ferry is pulling out, its horn blows hauntingly across the bay. More signs of a busy island. The fishing boats are unloading their catch. INT. EILEAN POLICE STATION, CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS DAVY CAMPBELL And we?ve a call from crofter Macdonald about the cattle tagging today. Says there?s going to be trouble with the outsiders not feeding their cattle in winter. Says “there will be blood”. That?s a quote. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Christ, is that today? Probably all blather. Send someone down there just in case. Detective inspector Og? 23. AENEAS Aye. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND You?ve some experience with the Macdonalds on this issue in the past, you take it, and take one of these brats with you. Teach them the bloody ropes. Anyone? DAVY CAMPBELL Me? CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Eh. No, Davy Campbell, no need fer you tae be gettin? into it wi? Colin Macdonald. SARAH I?ll go. Aeneas looks over at Sarah. She has her hand up and smiles at him. Hamish also smiles at Aeneas with a lascivious wink. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Is that it then? He?s already leaving the room. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND I thought so. Detective inspector, in my office, please. He has left. The others stand. HAMISH Hey. People. They turn to look at him. He affects his worst American accent. HAMISH Be careful out there. INT. DRUMMOND?S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER Drummond sits behind his desk, sharpening pencils. Aeneas enters. He doesn?t look up. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Close the door. Aeneas closes the door. 24. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND You gonnae tell me why you?re caked in shite? AENEAS Had to clear a road of sheep, sir. Drummond stops sharpening, and looks up. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Settling in okay are you? AENEAS Yes sir. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Locals not giving you too much hassle? AENEAS I can handle it, sir. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND They?re a nosy bloody bunch. How?re your folks? AENEAS Good. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Talkative fellow, aren?t you? Aeneas says nothing. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND On your way then. Aeneas opens the door. AENEAS Chief inspector? CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Aye. AENEAS Did you know that Donald Trump has a brother? CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND The Donald Trump? AENEAS Aye. 25. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Not that I?m aware of. AENEAS He?s on the island, says he?s buying up the Eilean Inn and building a casino resort. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND First I?ve heard of it. Aeneas exits, closing the door. CHIEF INSPECTOR DRUMMOND Open. Aeneas opens the door. INT. CAR - AFTERNOON Aeneas and Sarah Knox drive in silence. She keeps glancing over at him with a cheery look. SARAH You?re the silent type, eh? No answer. SARAH Everyone?s all a flutter about you coming back. The gossip, och. I pay no attention to it. Silence. SARAH For example, they say you killed a man, down in Glasgow, is it true? Silence. SARAH Sorry. Am I being intrusive? AENEAS I?m just gonnae stop off at the house and drop off these groceries, Sarah, won?t take a minute. SARAH Don?t mind me. You going to the ceilidh tonight then? 26. AENEAS I don?t think... SARAH Och come on, it?ll be magic! Live life! Silence. She looks out at the sky, the beach to her left. SARAH Gorgeous day, isn?t it? Look at the colors! Want tae pull over and find some seashells? He just looks at her. She laughs, looks away. SARAH When I was a wee girl, I used to love going to the seashore, collecting seashells. All kinds of pretty shapes and colors. Ach. Come on. She looks at him, more seriously, studying him. It makes Aeneas uncomfortable. SARAH You?re the enigma, aren?t you? AENEAS Am I? SARAH “Am I?” I don?t know, are you? She laughs again. SARAH You?re like those shells out there on the beach. Will the real Aeneas Og please come on out, wherever he is? She shouts this out the window and laughs, girlishly. SARAH Och, you?re a clam. All clammed up. But I?m gonnae steam you open. I?m gonnae get to the bottom of you, detective inspector Og. EXT. SANDY BEACH - AFTERNOON The car pulls over and stops, engine still running. 27. INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS AENEAS Go on. SARAH What? AENEAS Jump out. Have fun. Build a sandcastle or whatever it is you?re talking about. I?ve work tae do. SARAH I... AENEAS I?ll be back around in an hour or so and collect you. Go on. Silence. She is humiliated. SARAH No. I?ve a job to do with you. Ropes tae learn. Silence. Aeneas puts the car in gear and drives away. Sarah stares at him. He stares ahead at the road. EXT. OG RESIDENCE - AFTERNOON The car pulls up to a gate. Aeneas exits, followed by Sarah. AENEAS Its quite alright, I?ll handle these. SARAH Don?t be silly, I?ll help. She grabs a few of the shopping bags off Aeneas and follows him to the front door of the house. INT. OG RESIDENCE - AFTERNOON Aeneas enters, followed by Sarah. The TV is on loud in the other room. AENEAS Mum. Dad. Anyone up? Hello? 28. MOTHER (V.O.) Turn it down, I can?t hear myself think! FATHER (V.O.) Its not up loud. I can?t hear it. MOTHER Its so loud! Turn it down! Aeneas has put the shopping bags down on the kitchen counter and moves towards the TV room. Sarah waits there. INT. TV ROOM, OG RESIDENCE - CONTINUOUS Aeneas stands in the door, unnoticed by his eighty year old parents and observes their ritual daily TV struggle. MOTHER Don?t change the channel! I was watching that! FATHER I?m just seeing what else is on. MOTHER I want to watch the cooking show! FATHER Its one o?clock, the news is on. MOTHER I want to watch my cooking channel Once a policeman, eh? She throws a pillow at him, and notices Aeneas in the doorway with a shriek. MOTHER Goodness! You gave me a fright! What on earth happened to you? AENEAS Ach. Fell in the mud, helping some tourists. MOTHER Let me make you a cup of tea. Get out of those rags! She is up and off into the kitchen. Aeneas stands there with his father, who is watching the news. 29. NEWSCASTER In Scotland, the parliament vote which passed last year, to proceed with putting not just genetically modified foods, but also cloned meat into Scottish supermarkets is being met with stiff resistance by the church of Scotland and by picketeers across the country. AENEAS Alright, dad? His father doesn?t look up. FATHER Aye. Fine, son. Anything interesting today? AENEAS Not much. Usual friday night trouble. Eh. Colin Macdonald?s dog bit his hand this morning. PROTESTOR ON TV Its unGodly, is what it is. Its an aberration in the sight of God. These animals were given to us by God and now we?re going to refuse His bounty and become our own Creator? This is a satanic plot. FATHER You bought the cloned meat, didn?t ye? AENEAS Aye. FATHER Good. I dinnae mind the taste. So long as the poor beasties don?t suffer. Nae need fer that nae mare. AENEAS I?m a vegetarian, dad, remember? FATHER Are you? Since when? AENEAS Since about a year ago. FATHER Oh, aye. Anything else? 30. AENEAS Aye. Some of the kids grafitti?d the harbor sign again, and there?s a car abandoned in a ditch over by Eilean Loch. FATHER Kids these days. AENEAS Oh, and Turnbull?s pig has been kidnapped. FATHER Kidnapped? Kidnapped ye say? His father?s face turns towards him. An old bulldog of a face. He turns off the tv and stands eye to eye with his son. FATHER Any clues? AENEAS No clues yet. INT. OG KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Mother has the kettle on. We hear a toilet flush and Sarah enters. Mother is watching out the window. MOTHER Get away from those birds! You mean pussy! SARAH Oh, hello! Aeneas? mother turns and stares steadily at Sarah. MOTHER Hello. How are you? She seems strangely hostile to her. Pushes past her to fetch some tea cups. MOTHER I?m making tea, you going to have some or not? SARAH Eh. Is your son having some? I suppose its fine, he?ll have to change out of those muddy rags. 31. Mother turns on her. MOTHER My son does not wear rags. How dare you. SARAH Excuse me? MOTHER He hasn?t got a bad bone in his body. I always said you were no good for him. Drove him away, you did, and now he?s back, well here you are again. Sniffing around, looking for trouble. SARAH Eh, Mrs. Og, I think you might have me mistaken for someone else. MOTHER I know who you are! SARAH I?m Sarah Knox. I?m on the force with your son. Aeneas enters followed by his father. FATHER Of course it?s the local kids. Question is who. That troublemaker, Lachlan, you know, son of the store manager. Like father like son. It?s probably him. Sounds like something he?d get up to. Not right in the head, that one. AENEAS Are we doing alright? SARAH Aye, your mother was just making us some tea. MOTHER I?m just making the tea. What?s your name again, dear? SARAH Sarah Knox. 32. MOTHER Do you want a McVitie, Sarah, with your tea? SARAH I shouldn?t really. Och, go on then. FATHER I?ll have to see the ransom note. Can you get that to me today? That?ll hold clues. Its all in the handwriting. Spelling mistakes. I?ll get my books out on interpreting handwriting, you just bring me that note over this afternoon, son. AENEAS We can?t stop for tea, mum. Gottae get to the Macdonald croft , they?re tagging the cows. MOTHER Och. I do enjoy a good tagging! She says this to Sarah. Aeneas is walking up the stairs. AENEAS I?ll be two minutes and we?ve gottae run. FATHER Hello Moira. Back on the force then, are you? Sarah looks confused. MOTHER Och, this isn?t Moira. Her name is Sarah. Ignore him. He?s hopeless. Have you been to a tagging before? Mother is going through the shopping. MOTHER No no no. I wanted McVities digestives, not ginger snaps! Did you write it down on the list? I bet you didn?t. This to father, who is studying Sarah. 33. FATHER Aye, I wrote it down. McVities digestives, now Sarah, you?re aware of this kidnapping, aren?t you? SARAH Sorry, Mr. Og? FATHER The case of the missing pig. SARAH Aye. I found the ransom note. FATHER Did you now? And would you happen to have it on your person? MOTHER There?s coffee here, but no tea. I don?t drink coffee! SARAH I don?t have it. MOTHER I know you don?t have it. She hasn?t got the tea, you stupid man. But I wanted tea! FATHER Ah ha, but you could get your hands on it. Could you not? Mother hits father on the arm. MOTHER She hasn?t got the tea! Useless! EXT. MACDONALD CROFT - TWENTY MINUTES LATER A bellowing cow is being tagged on the ear. And released. Next. The crofters are standing around. Now they begin to murmur. One of the outsider?s cows is up. Colin Macdonald, nursing his hand in a sling speaks up. COLIN MACDONALD Feed your bloody cattle, Sinclair. Crofter Sinclair, not born on the island faces off. 34. SINCLAIR Mind your own bloody business, Macdonald. In the background we can see Aeneas? car pulling up. He and Sarah get out and approach. COLIN MACDONALD Look at the state of them. I can see their ribs. SINCLAIR Utter nonsense. There?s plenty of grass on the hills, even in winter. COLIN MACDONALD He?s gonnae tell us how tae rear cattle, an? he?s been doin? this two years. SINCLAIR Two years up here, three years down south. COLIN MACDONALD The Macdonalds been rearin? cattle for sixteen generations, an? I?m tellin? you.... SINCLAIR Get out of my face, Colin, I?ll deck you. Aeneas steps in. AENEAS Easy now, there?s no need for violence... COLIN MACDONALD Stay out of this Og, this doesn?t concern the police. AENEAS Colin , I?m going to have to ask you to calm down. COLIN MACDONALD Me? What about him? He doesn?t even know how many head of cattle he?s got! 35. SINCLAIR Oh what does it bloody matter, we?re all out of business anyway, everyone?s being sold on this God damned cloned meat. A bellowing as Sinclair?s cow is tagged and released. Confusion suddenly as the cow seems to eye up Macdonald and runs at him. Sarah screams. SINCLAIR Watch it! He throws himself at Macdonald and gets trampled by the rampaging cow. Silence. Then suddenly, Sarah and Aeneas move into action. AENEAS Sarah, call an ambulance. She moves to the car and whips out a mobile phone. Aeneas kneels next to Sinclair and Macdonald. Macdonald is stunned but unhurt. Sinclair however, is hurt. Badly. He is unconscious. AENEAS Mister Sinclair, can you hear me? The crofters surround them. AENEAS Move back, give the man air. Don?t move him. Aeneas stands back and observes the carnage. COLIN MACDONALD Saved my life, he did. He says it in shock as they all look at the unconscious body. FADE OUT. END OF ACT TWO 36. ACT THREE FADE IN: EXT. EILEAN HOSPITAL - DUSK Establishing shot off the setting sun, a spectacular sunset. INT. EILEAN HOSPITAL - EVENING Aeneas, Sarah and Colin Macdonald sit in the waiting area. Sarah stands. SARAH I?m going to get a coffee. Anyone? AENEAS No thanks, Sarah. Macdonald is too preoccupied to answer. She walks away. AENEAS Alright, Colin? COLIN MACDONALD He saved my life, Aeneas. Threw himself in front of the beastie. AENEAS Aye. COLIN MACDONALD Years now we?ve been squabblin?. Last year we came to blows. Damn near close to it the noo. AENEAS Aye. COLIN MACDONALD I wouldn?t a? done the same for him, if it came to it. AENEAS You don?t know that. COLIN MACDONALD Aye but. I wouldn?ae. AENEAS You don?t know that, Colin. Ordinary folk perform extraordinary tasks when the occasion demands. 37. COLIN MACDONALD He doesn?ae even know how many head of cattle he?s got. AENEAS Well, looks like he?s out for the count for a while. COLIN MACDONALD Dinnae worry aboot his cattle, I?ll take care of them fer the noo. AENEAS That?s good of you, Colin. COLIN MACDONALD Least I can do. Saved my life. The doctor comes through the doors marked Emergency. Both men stand. Sarah reappears with her coffee. DOCTOR DALRYMPLE Gentlemen. AENEAS How is he, doctor? DOCTOR DALRYMPLE He?s resting now. There?s trauma to the cranium, we?ve got him sedated, and we?ll just have to wait and see if the swelling continues or if it starts to improve. If it gets any worst overnight, we?ll have to have him evacuated to the mainland, I don?t have the facilities to deal with him here. How?s the hand, Colin? He tries to take his hand, Macdonald whips it away. COLIN MACDONALD Leave it. DOCTOR DALRYMPLE There?s nothing you can do here tonight. I suggest you go to the ceilidh and try to relax. I?m sure its been a long week for all of us. SARAH Are those doctor?s orders, doctor? She says this with a pointed look at Aeneas. 38. DOCTOR DALRYMPLE Aeneas, may I have a word with you alone? They move away from the others. DOCTOR DALRYMPLE Its about Colin?s hand. You said he was bitten by his dog, didn?t you? AENEAS Aye. DOCTOR DALRYMPLE Those punctures were not made by a dog, Aeneas. AENEAS What are you saying? DOCTOR DALRYMPLE They were made by a human being. Aeneas looks across the room at Colin Macdonald. Is he snarling at them? CUT TO: EXT. CEILIDH HALL - NIGHT A band plays. The twins we saw last night, beating each other senseless, and this morning in the cell are now best of friends again, dancing arm in arm, drinking off that hangover, working on a new one for tomorrow. TWINS Hamish! Come and dance wi? us! Hamish and Davy, standing at the bar, watch them with mild amusement. DAVY CAMPBELL Weren?t those two in the holding cell just this morning? HAMISH Aye. Davy elbows him. For through the front door of the hall enters Sarah Knox. 39. If she looked pretty earlier on in her police uniform, now, with her wild mane of strawberry hair, thick like hay and perfumed like the sweet morning dew, cascading down her pale shoulders, she looks more like a conquering Viking goddess, come to slay all mankind. She spies the lads and strolls across the room, which goes silent. The band has stopped playing. The two drunken twins have just sobered up. SARAH Play! Don?t stop! This is an order to the band, and who are they to disobey the great blonde tormentor of men, in her crimson boots and black leather trousers, which hug her delightful cello shaped derriere. Hamish falls to his knees. HAMISH Oh ye Gods, take pity on this mortal soul. Davy embraces the opposite strategy, and attempts to act cool. SARAH Hello davy. DAVY CAMPBELL Aye, whatever. HAMISH Tiger, tiger, burning bright, in the middle of the night, what immortal hand or eye, could frame thy fearful symmetry? SARAH Fearful? HAMISH I?m shaking, touch my hand. I?ve gone cold as ice. Am I dying? SARAH You?ve gone white as a sheet. HAMISH Past cure am I, now reason is past care, and frantic mad with ever more unrest, my thoughts and my discourse as madman?s are, at random from the truth vainly expressed. 40. DAVY CAMPBELL Hamish, chill. HAMISH Shut up, Davy. For I have sworn thee fair and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell; as dark as night. SARAH That?s not very nice. HAMISH I?m not very nice. I?m a devil. I?m an animal in the sack. Ask around. Grrr.... SARAH Who wants to dance? HAMISH That was Shakespeare by the way. I?m not nice but I?ve got a mind like a steel trap. But Davy has whisked her away onto the dance floor. Hamish watches them with envy. HAMISH Round one, Davy Campbell. Hamish notices the twins making a beeline straight for him. He sees Aeneas sitting with Duncan in a darkened corner of the room and hurries in their direction, pulling out his flask. HAMISH I come bearing poison. He pours a shot in each of their glasses. Duncan is enthusiastically predicting a wealthy future for himself. DUNCAN He?s talking a million pound for the Inn alone, and then another million for the acreage around it. That?s no chicken feed. Aeneas is drunk. He holds his liquor well, but he?s drunk. AENEAS Duncan. DUNCAN Aye. 41. AENEAS Duncan. DUNCAN Aye. That?s my name. AENEAS Duncan. DUNCAN I know what yer gonnae say. AENEAS You?ve got his passport, right? DUNCAN Aye, I?m no fool. AENEAS And he?s been paying his tab? DUNCAN (lying) Aye. AENEAS Duncan. DUNCAN Leave me alone. HAMISH Oh aye? You think the Trump fella?s an impostor? Duncan gets up, annoyed. DUNCAN Shut it, both of you! AENEAS Duncan! DUNCAN Stop raining on my parade. You?re just filled with the sin of envy. Its a terrible disease, envy. It?ll give ye the cancer! I?m one lucky bastard! COLIN MACDONALD and his mates swing by. MACDONALD Hey, Duncanson 42. DUNCAN Aye? MACDONALD Where?s yer pretty young mail order bride tonight then? DUNCAN She?s tending bar back at the inn. MACDONALD You sure aboot that? DUNCAN What do you mean? Macdonald laughs with the others. MACDONALD Tend to yer sheep, Duncanson, tend to yer sheep. DUNCAN The fuck does that mean? MACDONALD There be thieves in them thar hills. The others laugh, a mocking laughter. Deep resentments in this community. Macdonald and his gang saunter off. Duncan stares after them. He turns to Hamish. DUNCAN You know anything aboot that? HAMISH Nothin? DUNCAN Are they suggesting my wife is galavanting aboot wi? someone on the island? HAMISH Leave it alone, Duncan. DUNCAN She disnae have the time, what with the bar, the restaurant, and then the sunset spa. She disnae have time. I?ll cut her throat. HAMISH Och, Duncan. 43. DUNCAN And I?ll cut the balls off the prick. Still handy with the old gelding knife, ye know. I may have moved on from sheep farmin?, but its like ridin? a bike, some thing ye never forget. But I?ll forgrt how tae pull a pint fast enough. I?m gonnae be a wealthy man! Hamish looks uncomfortable. Duncan has danced away. Aeneas sits back. Looks at Hamish who raises an eyebrow and winks at the dance floor. They watch Sarah dancing with Davy. Aeneas sits up. Moira has entered the hall. She notices Aeneas straight away, but turns away and heads to the bar. HAMISH Uh oh. AENEAS Uh oh what? HAMISH Eh? AENEAS Uh oh. You said uh oh. HAMISH No, I didn?t. AENEAS Hamish. HAMISH I didnae say uh oh. I may have said it?s gonnae snow. Tomorrow. You know. AENEAS Why would you say that? HAMISH I dunno. But if the interrogation is over, Serpico, I do know that you owe me a hula hula show. AENEAS Serpico? 44. HAMISH Folks dress up for a ceilidh around here in case you?d forgotten. They take baths, mister Og. AENEAS Oh no. HAMISH Oh ho ho ho. He is dragging him up onto the dance floor. AENEAS Hamish. Get off. HAMISH Ladies and gents, I?d like you all to give a warm hand to our newly promoted detective inspector Aeneas Og whose just back in our midst after a hard slog down on the mean streets o? Glasgae. He?s back! We missed him, didn?t we? Applause. He raises his glass as if to speak. Forgets what he?s going to say. HAMISH Bollocks. To laughter, he drinks. Aeneas, tries to leave the dance floor, but Hamish grabs him and begins to waltz around the room. Aeneas warms up. Sarah cuts in. SARAH May I? HAMISH But of course. Hamish goes to waltz with her, but she grabs Aeneas instead and off she goes, to the dismay of Hamish. They dance in silence. Aeneas has a warm fuzzy smile on his face. He has relaxed. Sarah notices this. SARAH You dance well, detective inspector. 45. AENEAS Thanks. Listen, about earlier, I?m sorry if I was a little tough... SARAH Ach. I?m no dainty flower, I can take it. Your parents are sweet. AENEAS Eccentric. SARAH But sweet. Where did they go wrong with you? AENEAS Haha. He is looking at Moira who is now dancing with Hamish. Sarah notices his attention drifting to Moira, who cleans up well. At forty, she is a handsome woman. SARAH So Moira, eh? AENEAS Sorry? SARAH Your mother thought I was Moira earlier. She your ex? AENEAS Aye. There she is now. He nods over at Moira. Sarah studies her. SARAH And she broke your heart? Aeneas laughs almost bitterly. AENEAS Quite the opposite actually. I ran off and did all the breaking. SARAH Then why are you the one who?s wearing the lost puppy look? AENEAS Am I? 46. Aeneas notices that Hamish?s hand has wandered to Moira?s ass. She lifts it back up to her waist. It slides down to her ass again, more insistently. She moves it back. Sarah is singing in his ear, rather erotically. SARAH Forget your troubles, come on get happy, you better chase all your cares away. Shout hallelujah, come on get happy, get ready for the judgement day. But Aeneas has disconnected. He pulls away and tries to stroll as calmly as possible over to Moira and the lascivious Hamish. He stands before them, swaying slightly. AENEAS Mind if I cut in. Hamish glances at him. HAMISH Yeah, I do actually. He keeps dancing, he holds her tight to him, she looks uncomfortable. Sarah stands watching this in the background. Aeneas leans in and taps him on the shoulder. AENEAS I?m not asking. Hamish stops dancing and faces Aeneas. HAMISH Oh aye? AENEAS I?m telling you, she doesn?t appreciate the wandering digits, pal. HAMISH “Women?s emancipation”, inspector. Why don?t we ask the lady herself what she thinks of my digits? AENEAS You?re an arse, sergeant. MOIRA Aeneas. 47. HAMISH You wanna dance with this clown, Moira? AENEAS I?m gonnae ask you one time. HAMISH Big man, are ye? AENEAS I?m gonnae ask you one time. Hamish laughs in his face and grabs Moira?s arm. HAMISH Come on Moira. MOIRA I don?t want to dance with either of you big idiots. It all happens very quickly. She pulls her arm away, he holds onto it, Aeneas takes an accurate swing at his chin with a left hook and almost simultaneously Hamish?s left hook connects with Aeneas? face. A woman screams as the two men go down. The violence is real here. And it has consequences. Pandemonium. MOIRA No! NO! FADE TO BLACK. INT. CAR - NIGHT Aeneas comes to. His jaw is in pain, he has a split lip and blood has spilled all over his clothes. He is in the passenger seat. Moira is driving. AENEAS Where are you taking me? MOIRA I can?t let your parents see you in this state. He sits up and turns the rear view mirror to inspect the damage. Moira is fuming. She lets loose. 48. MOIRA The fuck was that about, Aeneas? AENEAS He was touching your arse. MOIRA I had it under control. AENEAS He was touching your arse and I didn?t like it. MOIRA (shouting) Am I your piece of arse then? Is that what this is? Hey? Silence. She drives in the dark. Dangerously brimming over with emotions that have been kept in check for ten years, wounds that have never truly healed. AENEAS I?m sorry. MOIRA Oh, that?ll fix it all. That?ll make it all go away. You?re fucking sorry? Grow up. Act your age. One day you run away, not a word, ten years later you?re back, and you?re casing my house, following me around like you?re Popeye Doyle, or Dirty fucking Harry, yeah, I saw you, I was on the force with you for ten years, remember? I was practically married to you, its in my bones, lord help me. She has pulled over. Turns off the engine. Considers letting loose. Decides against it. Gets out. MOIRA Come on. Both of you clowns. And shut up. She walks away. Hamish sits up, looking sheepish, holding a bag of ice to his eye. HAMISH Are we home already? AENEAS What the hell are you doin? here? 49. Hamish gets out slowly and closes the car door on one side, Aeneas on the other. Aeneas and Hamish stare at each other. Then they both follow her up the path to her door, which she has opened, and into the house. INT. MOIRA?S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT She throws Aeneas? car keys and her bag on the coffee table. Points at the couch. MOIRA There?s your bed. He sits down on it. She towers over him, hands on her hips, ready to blast him some more. HAMISH I?ll just grab my stuff and be on my way then. MOIRA You do that, Hamish. Hamish grabs his cycling gear in a bag and heads for the door. From the stairs, a voice, sleepy. BREE Mummy? Moira turns and gathers up her daughter in her arms. BREE Who?s that? MOIRA Ssh, baby, back to bed, now, mummy will be up in a sec. BREE Hello uncle Hamish. HAMISH Hello darlin? Gi?us a kiss goodnight then. BREE Come and read me a story. HAMISH It?s a wee bit late for stories, love. BREE Uncle Hamish is a policeman! 50. The baby sitter appears. BABYSITTER She was asleep but she woke up when the car pulled up, sorry. MOIRA Put her back in bed, I?ll be right up. The babysitter leaves the room. Moira turns back to face Aeneas, sitting on the couch, with a puzzled expression. AENEAS You have a daughter? Hamish looks from one to the other. She nods, staring at him. He searches for his thoughts. AENEAS How old is she? MOIRA Ten. She stares at him. He sits back. It sinks in. AENEAS So who?s the father? Silence. HAMISH I?ll be off then. Hamish slips out the front door. Aeneas, confused, watches the door close. Then he looks back to Moira. Moira takes a blanket and practically flings it at him. She leans in and the words come out with a hiss. MOIRA First thing in the morning I want you out. Gone. Am I clear? He nods his head. She turns and leaves, flipping off the light switch. He lays down, staring at the ceiling. Closes his weary eyes. END OF SHOW. 51.