第一幕:喝酒
武松:Hello! I am Wu Song. The most handsome, the most famous, the most clever man in Liang Shan. I am going home to kill my sister in law Pan jinlian! She poisoned my brother. I told my brother Pan jinlian was dangerous. But My brother still married her. (叹气,唉….跟音乐一起唱且跳舞)Dangerous, dangerous! The girl is dangerous.
武松(见到酒店一家):A restaurant! Good. I am hungry. (进屋坐下)Waiter! Wine! Wine! The best wine!
小二:Hi, sir. Sit down please. Would you like XO, Er Guo Tou, Mao Tai, or Qing Dao beer?
武松:(晕晕乎乎地)How much is the XO?
小二:1880 ( 展示大瓶酒,醒目的标价)。
武松:Open…Open…..(喷嚏)(小二将酒瓶起开)
武松:(面怒,片刻无语)Open the window please!Not the wine. I want some er guo tou! It’s strong enough.
小二
[热门]新《水浒》:You….You…..(敢怒不敢言, 转身倒碗二锅头),Ok. Here you are.
武松:Anything to eat?
小二:Would you like sandwiches, hamburgers, bread, or pizza?
武松:Ten pizzas, please.
小二: Here you are!
武松:(喝一口酒)Good wine, very good wine!
(小二上了两碗酒www.seo0793.com,武松喝了,却是不再倒了)
武松:I want more wine. Why not serve me?服务员!淘宝最有效的减肥药排行榜怎么不倒酒了?
小二:Sir, More pizzas OK, more wine no way! 客官,要比萨饼就给您,这酒就不添了。
武松:(生气) Why? I have money! (扔钱倒桌上)
掌柜:Look! (指着“三碗不过冈”牌子)。This wine is very strong. One bowl, comfortable. Two bowls, can’t walk. Three bowls, drunk and fall!,(叫店小二示范) 喝一碗神清气爽,喝两碗保你浑身无力,喝三碗就立刻醉倒,最多喝保证你酒精中毒,命都没有了……
武松:(喝一口,挤笑)Who am i? Wu Song! Even 18 bowls is nothing for me. Give me wine!(咆哮,敲桌子) 不是我狂妄,这酒劲虽大,可我绝对是应付得了,就是喝上十八碗也只是漱口而已,倒酒www.jdlqq.com!
掌柜:But you must call this number first.(掏出手机,出示电话号码,旁边注明棺材预订),Then I will serve you more wine.
武松:(勉强同意,做打电话状)Hello!.......
小二:Here is your wine. But your last meal, I think.你的酒来了!慢慢喝,估计是你最后一顿了。
(武松冷哼一声。一次次举起大碗,眨眼间十八碗酒就下了肚吃完了,拎着他的棍子就走)
小二:Where are you going, sir?
武松:Jing yang gang去景阳冈后面的阳谷县。
服务员:Oh, my god. You want to die? There is a tiger there. It has eaten 30 People. You’d better not go today. It’s dark. 客官万万去不得!如今景阳冈上有只华南虎,天一黑就出来害人,已经害了三十几个人,官府限期叫猎户去捉,冈下都有广告,除了中午,都不能过冈,现在已经快天黑了,你不要命就去吧。我看你还是在我这里住一晚最好。
武松:(醉醺醺地) A tiger? I’ll kill it! Look ! I am so strong. I am good at Kong Fu!(秀肌肉,舞弄棍子,踢腿。)老虎?我要杀了它!看我有多壮!我的功夫多棒!
掌柜:You are drunk. Don’t go.看你这样子就知道你喝多了,怎么说起胡话了?可万万去不得!
武松:(生气) Go away! (摇摇晃晃走了) 切,减肥药哪种好最讨厌人家小看我了,一边呆着去。
掌柜:(摇头叹气)e mi tuo fo! God bless you! A men! (阿弥陀佛,上帝保佑,阿门)
第二幕:打虎
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