甄嬛传 剧本

演员：甄嬛、浣碧、安陵容、华妃、宫女、太监、皇上ThebiographyofZhenhuan第一幕Eunuch:HuaFeiiscoming!太监：华妃娘娘驾到。ZhenHuan:YourMajesty!Longlivetheempress!甄嬛：给华妃娘娘请安，娘娘万福金安。HuaFei:Don’tstandupuntilsomeoneapplaudforyou..(after20seconds)OK,youcanbeupnow!华妃：没有人给你鼓掌，你就不能起来。起来吧。ZhenHuan:Thankyou.甄嬛：谢娘娘。（华妃放杯子）放杯子。HuaFei:Itseemsthatyourhandicraftisbetterthanbefore.Isthisfortheemperor华妃“几日不见妹妹，妹妹的手艺又好了。这是绣给皇上的？ZhenHuan:Youalwaysmissnothing!Iwillgivetheemperorthishandkerchieftoexpressmyloveforhim.甄嬛：什么都瞒不住姐姐，这个帕子正是送与皇上的来表达我对他的爱。HuaFei:LoveTheemperorloveyouOh,comeon!I’mtheonlywomantheemperorloves!I’dliketotellyouwhatistheemperor’slove.华妃：爱皇上爱你吗皇上爱的是本宫，本宫倒想让你看看什么叫皇上的爱。ZhenHuan:Ah,yourheadwearisreallybeautiful!甄嬛：呀，姐姐的头饰可真漂亮呀。HuaFei:IfyoulikeitandIwilltakeitoffandgiveittoyou.Oh,butyouarestillonlyaconcubineoftheemperor,soyoucan’twearthisMickeynewstyle.华妃：喜欢我的头饰那我摘下来给你，哎呦我忘了，妹妹还是嫔位，不能带我们妃位的米奇新款。ZhenHuan:Youarekidding!（不太确定妹妹哪敢跟姐姐相提并论呀）HowdareIcomparewithyouBecauseofyourgoodfigureandbeauty,sotheemperordressedyouwiththelamp.甄嬛：姐姐说笑了，妹妹哪敢跟姐姐相提并论呀凭姐姐这身材，这相貌，皇上才给姐姐装灯的。HuaFei:NomatterhowIdressed,itisnotformyself.Iamthewomanwhomanagethesixpalace,soIcan’tdressshabbylikesomeone.华妃：装不装灯的我也不是为了自己，咱毕竟要协理六宫，不能像某些人穿得那么寒酸。（甄嬛暗中换杯子）换杯子。HuaFei:Butthenagain,Ialsodressitformyself.Look,therearesomanybeautifulgirlswhoaretheemperor’snewbelovedssittingunderthestage.华妃：可这话说回来，我又何尝不是为了自己。你看台下坐着的，。ZhenHuan:Somanynewbeloveds.Theemperorisreallygreat.甄嬛：今年这么多新宠，皇上可真厉害。HuaFei:Yep,webothknowhowtheemperoris.Writedownthenamesofthebeautifulgirlswhoareunderthestage,andIwilltrainthem.NowhavemyHuanYixiang.on.华妃：是呀，皇上身体怎么样，咱俩都知道。去，把台下漂亮女生的名字都记下来，本宫要好好调教一下，顺便把本宫的欢宜香点上。Maidservant:Yes,sir.宫女：是。ZhenHuan:YouaresoluckytobetheonlypersontogetHuanYixianggivenbytheEmperor.甄嬛：呦，这欢宜香可是皇上御赐给姐姐的呢。姐姐是真真的好福气呢。HuaFei:Itisbecauseofthisperfumethatothersthinkmetooluxurious.Andtheyallknowyouareathriftyhousewife,nothingiswastedinyourhouse,evenyourservantsarealsoenergy-savingandemission-reduction.华妃：就是因为用这个香，多少人说我奢侈，可后宫的人都知道妹妹才是勤俭持家的好女人，妹妹不仅用东西节俭，就连身边的佣人长得也节能减排。ZhenHuan:Thanksforyourpraise.HuanBiismypersonalmaidservant.Shecandoalmosteverything.Duringtheday,sheisaguardandsheisamaidatnight.SoItistruethereisnothinginthisworldthatHuanbicannotdo.(转头向浣碧)IcommandyoutotakethishandkerchieftotheemperorandtellhimthatImisshim.甄嬛：姐姐过奖了，浣碧是我的贴身陪嫁，日夜兼用型，白天是侍卫，晚上是宫女，正所谓浣碧会武术，谁也挡不住。去把这帕子交予皇上，告诉他本宫想他了。Maidservant:YourMajesty,thisisthelistofthebeautifulgirlsunderthestage.宫女：娘娘，这是台下漂亮女生的名单。HuaFei:Beautifulgirls…hey,theirnamesaregood,Iwillrewardthemall.华妃：漂亮女生，（名字）哎呦，名字都不错呢，本宫统统都有赏。Maidservant:WhatdoesEmpressrewardthem宫女：敢问娘娘赏什么呢？HuaFei:Yizhanghong！华妃：一杖红。Maidservant:Yes！（指太监）Here！(太监上台，参见娘娘)GiveeachofthemYizhanghong！宫女：是，来人，（太监上台，参见娘娘）一杖红Eunuch:Yessir！太监：嗻ZhenHuan:Youarereallygenerous！甄嬛：姐姐是真大方呀。HuaFei:Yeah，wouldyouhaveone,too华妃：一杖红说给就给，要不给你也来一套？ZhenHuan:No,I‘mafraidIdon’thavethisfortune.甄嬛：不用了，嫔妾怕是无福消受呀。HuanBi:Toinformmyyoungmaster,theEmperorwantsyoutoservehimtonight.Pleasegobackandgetprepared浣碧：启禀娘娘，皇上今天翻的是您的绿头牌，快回去准备侍寝吧。ZhenHuan:Igotit.IamsosorrythatIhavetotakeabath.AndifYoudon’twantthecrow’s-feetemergingbehindyourear,justgobackearlierandsleep.Excuseme,Igottago!甄嬛：知道了，下去吧。姐姐真是对不住了，嫔妾要去沐浴更衣了，你也早点回去休息吧，看你的鱼尾纹都已经长到耳朵丫子上去了。告辞。第二幕Maidservant:Thiszhenhuanalwayswantstobeyourequalsbyrelyingontheemperor’sLove.Sheistooignorant!宫女：这个菀嫔仗着皇上的宠幸就想和娘娘平起平坐，真是不知好歹。华妃：皇上宠她我当然不高兴，不过有一件事挺值得高兴的，他毕竟还是喝下了那杯有巴豆的茶，让她爽去吧。ZhenHuan:Yo,IalmostforgottotellyouthatIreplacedyourcupwithmine.Andthecrotonisinyours…甄嬛：呦，忘了告诉姐姐，你那个杯子让我换掉了，你喝的才是有巴豆的。HuaFei:Iknowyouaresocareful,thereforeIputthecupincludingcrotoninmysideinadvance.Soyouwillhaveadiarrhea.华妃：就知道妹妹谨慎，所以我把杯子事先有毒的放到我这边，拉稀的还是你。ZhenHuan:You,diarrhea.甄嬛：你拉稀。HuaFei:You,华妃：你拉稀。ZhenHuan:It’sYou.甄嬛：你拉稀。HuaFei:You.华妃：你拉稀。ZhenHuan:You,andyourwholefamily，diarrhea.!甄嬛：你拉稀，你全家都拉稀。HuaFei:Songzhi,tellherwhichcupincludingthecroton？华妃：松芝告诉他，到底哪杯有巴豆？Maidservant:Ifyouwanttoknowthat,Iwilltellyouthetruth.Iputthecrotonintothebothcups.Andyoubothofyouwillhaveadiarrhea!宫女：既然两位这么想知道，那我就告诉你们吧，这两杯呀，我都下了药。HuaFei:So,youarethespyoftheQueen,isn’tit？华妃：你是皇后派来的卧底是不是？Maidservant:Hahaha,you’vegotit.宫女：哈哈哈，你猜对了。ZhenHuan:WhyWhydoyouworksohardfortheOldAbnormalQueen甄嬛：什么，你既然为乌拉那拉宜修那个老变态卖命。Maidservant:Wow,bothofyoubettersaveyourstrengthtogotothetoilet,andIwillgoforarewardfromtheQueen.Seeyousoon!宫女：呦，两位还是省省力气留着茅房里使吧，我要到皇后娘娘那儿领赏了，后会有期。第三幕Eunuch:Theemperoriscoming.太监：皇上驾到。Anling:YourMajesty,Pleasetakecareofyourselftoavoidcatchingacold.安陵容：皇上天寒地冻，仔细伤了龙体。Emperor:Itdoesn’tmatter.皇上：没事。Anling:RecentlyImakeanewspice,Ithinkyouwilllikeit.安陵容：臣妾近日新调了一种香料，相信皇上您会喜欢的。Emperor:Forgetit.Gotothepalaceandfetchasweaterforme.皇上：不必。你去回宫先拿一件毛衣，然后再来见朕。Anling:YourMajesty......安陵容：皇上……Emperor:Hurry!Iamsotiredtocopewiththiskindofwomen.HuanHuan.皇上：快去。后宫三千不可少，应付起来真烦恼。嬛嬛。ZhenHuan:Silang~甄嬛：四郎。Emperor:What'swrongwithyou皇上：嬛嬛你怎么了ZhenHuan:Silang,doyouhaveanytoiletpaper甄嬛：四郎，你有手纸吗Emperor:No.皇上：这个真没有。ZhenHuan:Silang,IamafraidIcan’tserveyoutonight,becauseHuanfeiputthecrotoninmycup.甄嬛：四郎，华妃那个毒妇在臣妾的杯子里下了巴豆，恐怕今晚臣妾不能服侍您了。Emperor:Oh,mypoordarling!Huanfei,youareacruelwomen!Kneeldownrightnow!皇上：我的小心肝，华妃，你这个恶毒的女人，给我跪下。HuaFei:YourMajesty,howcanyoublamemeIt’stheQueenwhopoisonedus,andIcan’tholdit!Doyouhaveanytoiletpaper,or…draftpaper(跪下，抱脚)华妃：皇上，你怎么能怪罪臣妾呢，都是皇后派人下的毒，而且臣妾这也hold不住了。皇上有没有手纸，没有手纸草纸也行呀。Emperor:Noneatall!DoyouthinkIwillbelieveyouIknoweverythingyourbrotherdoesincollusionwithothers.BelieveitornotIcandisthroneyourconcubines’positionandputyouintotheLimborightnow.皇上：什么纸都没有。你觉得你说的话朕会信吗别以为你和你哥哥后宫官场两相勾结的事朕也不知道，信不信朕现在就废了你的妃位把你打入冷宫。HuaFei:YourMajesty,pleasedon'tdoit!Igottatohaveadragonbabyforyou.华妃：皇上，我还得为你孕育龙种呢。ZhenHuan:Don’teventhinkaboutit!DoyouknowwhytheemperorgivesyouHuanyixiangBecauseitwasputintoalotofmusk,anditwillmakesyouinfertile.So,nowyoujustlikeabarrenfieldthatgrowsnothing.Youarewastingtheemperor’senergy.(踢华妃一脚)甄嬛：就凭你想都别想，你知道皇上为什么给你欢宜香吗里面放了大量的麝香，大家都知道芳香所散之处必有滑胎堕胎不孕不育之功效，现在的你就是一块盐碱地，种啥啥不长。你都浪费了皇上的雨露了。（踢华妃一脚）HuaFei:Eitherletmelive,orletmedie!AndevenifIdie,Iwilldieelegantly.(开灯、喝水、自杀)华妃：皇上不让我生就是让我死，就算我死也要华丽地死去。（开灯，喝水，自杀）ZhenHuan:HuaFei,yousacrificeyourlifetoprovethewordsthatonlyaruthlesswomancanraise.(转向皇上)SiLang,wheredowegotoenjoyourselvestonight甄嬛：华妃，你牺牲用你的生命为台下的姐妹应证了一句话女人心不狠，一定站不稳。皇上今晚我们上哪儿玩Emperor:OhIheardthatEnglishDepartmentofCenturyCollege，theBeijingUniversityofPostsandTelecommunicationshasmanybeautifulgirlsrecently.Look,theyareintheaudience.Let’sgoandhavealook!皇上：今天晚上听说北京邮电大学世纪学院外语系新进了不少的秀女，你看看，不都在台下看着呢吗走，跟朕瞧瞧去。ZhenHuan:TheyarealreadyrewardedYizhanghong.Sonowtheircolorisreallybrilliant.甄嬛：都被华妃赏了一杖红了，那颜色才叫一个鲜艳。Emperor:Oh,forgetit!(做呕吐状)Thisisdisgusting.Letwegobacktothepalace!皇上：那还是算了吧，太惨了，那你送朕回宫吧！