生活大爆炸台词-第一季-12集

12[Sheldon]:Here'stheproblemwithteleportation.[Leonard]:Layitonme.[Sheldon]:Assumingadevicecouldbeinventedwhichwouldidentifythequantumstateofmatterofanindividualinonelocation,andtransmitthatpatterntoadistantlocationforreassembly,youwouldnothavetransportedtheindividual,youwouldhavedestroyedhiminonelocationandrecreatedhiminanother.[Leonard]:Howaboutthat.[Sheldon]:Personally,Iwouldneveruseatransporter,becausetheoriginalSheldonwouldhavetobedisintegratedinordertocreateanewSheldon.[Leonard]:WouldthenewSheldonbeinanywayanimprovementontheoldSheldon?[Sheldon]:No,hewouldbeexactlythesame.[Leonard]:Thatisaproblem.[Sheldon]:Soyouseeittoo?[Gablehauser]:Dr.Hofstadter.,Dr.Cooper.,Gentlemen,I'dlikeyoutomeetDennisKim,Dennisisahighlysought-afterdoctoralcandidateandwe'rehopingtohavehimdohisgraduateworkhere.[Leonard]:Graduatework.Veryimpressive.[Gablehauser]:Andhe'sonly15yearsold.[Sheldon]:Notbad.Imyselfstartedgraduateschoolat14.[Dennis]:Well,IlostayearwhilemyfamilywastunnelingoutofNorthKorea.[Leonard]:Advantage,Kim.[Gablehauser]:IthoughtmaybeyouboyscouldshowDennisaround,lethimseewhywe'rethebestphysicsresearchfacilityinthecountry.[Dennis]:Ialreadyknowyou'renot.Youdon'thaveanOpenScienceGridcomputerorafreeelectronlaser,andthestringtheoryresearchbeingdonehereisnothingbutadeadend.[Sheldon]:Excuseme,thatismyresearchanditisbynomeansadeadend.[Dennis]:Well,obviouslyyoudon'tseeityet,buttrustme,youwill.[Gablehauser]:Dennis,we'vediscussedthis,we’reintheprocessofupdatingourequipmentandwewelcomeyourinputonourresearchgoals,andwe'veagreedtolooktheotherwayifyouwanttouseupto20%ofthegrantmoneyyouattracttosmuggleyourgrandfatheroutofPyongyang.Wewanthimhere,boys,makeithappen.[Leonard]:Yes,sir.[Sheldon]:Youcancountonus,we’reonit.Whatthehelldoyoumean“deadend”?[Dennis]:Imean,thewholelandscapeoffalsevacuumsinstringtheorycouldbeaslargeas10tothefivehundredthpower,inaddition...Ooh,look,chocolatemilk.[Sheldon]:IsenseadisturbanceintheForce.[Leonard]:AbadfeelingIhaveaboutthis.So,Dennis,howlonghaveyoubeeninAmerica?[Dennis]:Ayearandahalf.[Leonard]:Nokidding,youspeakEnglishreallywell.[Dennis]:Sodoyou,exceptforyourtendencytoendsentenceswithprepositions.[Leonard]:Whatareyoutalkingabout?[Dennis]:That.[Sheldon]:He'snotwrong.Allright,andthisismyoffice.[Dennis]:Isthispartofthetour?[Sheldon]:Nope.Goodbye.[Leonard]:Comeon,Sheldon,we'vehardlyshownhimanything.[Sheldon]:Allright.Thisismydesk,thesearemybooks,thisismydoor.Pleasecloseitbehindyou,goodbye.[Dennis]:Lookslikeyou'redoingworkinquantumloopcorrections.[Sheldon]:Keenobservation,goodbye.[Dennis]:Youseewhereyouwentwrong,don'tyou?[Sheldon]:Leonard.[Leonard]:Hah.Yeah?[Sheldon]:Gethimout.[Leonard]:Comeon,Dennis,I'llshowyoutherecreationcenter,they’vegotNautilusequipment.[Dennis]:DoIlooklikeIliftweights?[Leonard]:Notheavyones.[Dennis]:It'sstartlingtomeyouhaven'tconsideredaLorentzinvariantorfieldtheoryapproach.[Sheldon]:YouthinkIhaven'tconsideredit?YoureallythinkIhaven'tconsideredit?[Dennis]:Haveyouconsideredit?[Sheldon]:Gethimout,Leonard.[Leonard]:Comeon,Dennis,I'llshowyoutheradiationlab.[Dennis]:Wow.YouwontheStevensonAward?[Sheldon]:Yes.Infact,Iamtheyoungestpersonevertowinit.[Dennis]:Really?Howold?[Sheldon]:Fourteenandahalf.[Dennis]:Mm.Youweretheyoungestpersonevertowinit.[Leonard]:It'slikelookingintoanobnoxiouslittlemirror,isn'tit?[Penny]:Thisisreallydelicious,isn'tit?Stillcan'ttalktomeunlessyou'redrunk,huh?Oh,sweetie,youaresodamaged.[Howard]:Hey,I'mdamaged,too.HowaboutahugforHowie?[Penny]:Sure.Raj,hugHoward.[Sheldon]:Oh...[Leonard]:Somethingyou'dliketoshare?Ataleofwoe,perhaps?[Sheldon]:Fifteenyearsold.DennisKimis15yearsold,andhe'salreadycorrectingmywork.Today,IwentfrombeingMozartto...Youknow,thatotherguy.[Howard]:AntonioSalieri?[Sheldon]:OhGod,nowevenyouaresmarterthanme.[Howard]:Youknow,Sheldon,youdon'thavesomanyfriendsthatyoucanaffordtostartinsultingthem.[Leonard]:Justeat,Sheldon,you'llfeelbetter.[Sheldon]:Whywastefood?InTexas,whenacowgoesdry,theydon'tkeepfeedingit,theyjusttakeheroutandshootherbetweentheeyes.[Penny]:I'mconfused,didSheldonstopgivingmilk?[Leonard]:Youcan'tletthiskidgettoyou,youalwaysknewthatsomedaysomeonewouldcomealongwhowasyoungerandsmarter.[Sheldon]:Yes,butIassumedIwould'vebeendeadhundredsofyears,andthatthere'dbeanasteriskbyhisnamebecausehe'dbeacyborg.[Penny]:Soyou'vegotalittlecompetition.Ireallydon'tseewhatthebigdealis.[Sheldon]:Ofcourseyoudon't,you’veneverexcelledatanything.[Penny]:Idon'tunderstand,exactlyhowdidhegetanyfriendsinthefirstplace?[Howard]:WelikedLeonard.[Leonard]:Well,whatareyougonnado,Sheldon,justgiveup?[Sheldon]:Yes,It'swhatarationalpersondoeswhenhisentirelife'sworkisinvalidatedbyapostpubescentAsianwunderkind,heceaseshisfruitlessefforts,hedonateshisbodytoscientificresearch,andhewaitstodie.[Penny]:Youknow,I'mconfusedagain.Ishewaiting,ordowegettoshoothimbetweentheeyes?[Sheldon]:Hey.I'vedecidedyou'reright,mycareerisnotover.[Leonard]:Great.[Sheldon]:ButsincethearrivalofDennisKimhasrenderedmyresearchpointless,Ijusthavetofindsomethingelsetofocuson.SoI'vedecidedI'mgoingtocollaboratewithyou.[Leonard]:Great…[Sheldon]:Sowhatexactlyisityoudo?Iknowyouchatteronaboutitallthetime,butI'veneverreallypaidattention.[Leonard]:Okay,well,rightnow,I'mdesigninganexperimenttostudythesoftcomponentofcosmicradiationatseelevel,butIreallydon'tneedanyhelp.[Sheldon]:Oh,sureyoudo.Now,see,what'sthishereintheschematic?Isthatalaserarray?Hmm...whathappensifyouuseargonlasersinsteadofhelium-neon?Itwouldblowup.[Sheldon]:Areyousure?[Leonard]:Prettysure.[Sheldon]:“Prettysure”isnotveryscientific.Isthishowyounormallywork?Justhunchesandguessesandstuff?[Leonard]:Okay.Sheldon,Iunderstandthatyou'regoingthroughabitofacareercrisis,you'researchingforsomeotherareawhereyoucanfeelvaluableandproductive,butIneedtotellyousomethingandIwantyoutolistencarefully.[Sheldon]:Allright.[Leonard]:Goaway![Sheldon]:Ifyou'reconcernedaboutsharingcreditwithme,yournamecangofirst...I'mgoing.[Howard]:It'sasmallbrownpaperbag,Ma,I'mlookinginitrightnow!WhywouldImakethatup?There'snoDingDonginit!HowaretwoDingDongstomorrowgonnahelpmetoday?[Sheldon]:So...thisisengineering,huh?[Howard]:I'lltalktoyoulater.[Sheldon]:Engineering…wherethenoblesemiskilledlaborersexecutethevisionofthosewhothinkanddream.[Howard]:Sheldon,whatareyoudoinghere?[Sheldon]:Ijustcamebytosayhello.[Howard]:I'vebeeninthislabforthreeyears,you’venevercomebytosayhello.[Sheldon]:Well,upuntilnow,I'vehadbetterthingstodo.So,whatarewemakingtoday?[Howard]:AsmallpayloadsupportstructureforaEuropeanscienceexperimentalpackagethat'sgoinguponthenextspaceshuttle.[Sheldon]:Really?Howdoesitwork?[Howard]:Whenthisisdone,itwillbeattachedtothepayloadbayandthesensorapparatuswillrestonit.[Sheldon]:Ah-ha.Soit'sashelf.[Howard]:No,youdon'tunderstand,duringacceleration,itneedstostayperfectlylevelandprovide...Yeah,it’sashelf.[Sheldon]:Now,Inoticeyou'reusingtitanium,didyougiveanyconsiderationtocarbonnanotubes?They'relighter,cheaper,andhavetwicethetensilestrength.[Howard]:Sheldon,there'sadiplomainmyofficethatsaysIhaveamaster'sinengineering.[Sheldon]:Andyoualsohaveanotefromyourmotherthatsays“Iloveyou,Bubula”,butneitherofthoseisacogentargumentfortitaniumovernanotubes.[Howard]:Sheldon?[Sheldon]:Yes?[Howard]:Goaway![Sheldon]:DidLeonardtellyoutosaythat?[Howard]:No,Ithoughtofitallbymyself.[Sheldon]:Thatcan'tbeacoincidence,theremustbesomecausallinkI'mmissing.[Raj]:Goaway![Sheldon]:Curiouserandcuriouser.[Howard]:Ishehere?[Leonard]:Ifhewere,Iwouldn'tbe.[Raj]:Youknowwhathedid?Hewatchedmeworkfor10minutesandthenstartedtodesignasimplepieceofsoftwarethatcouldreplaceme.[Leonard]:Isthatevenpossible?[Raj]:Asitturnsout,yes.[Howard]:Something'sgottobedoneabouthim,Leonard.[Leonard]:Likewhat?He'llneverbeabletocopewiththefactthatsome15-year-oldkidissmarterandmoreaccomplishedthanheis.[Raj]:Well,whatifsomethingweretohappentothisboysohewasnolongerathreattoSheldon?[Howard]:Thenourproblemwouldbesolved.[Leonard]:Hangon,arewetalkingaboutmurderingDennisKim?I'mnotsayingno.[Howard]:Wedon'thavetogothatfar,thereareothermeansavailable.[Raj]:Wecan'tsendhimbacktoNorthKorea,heknowshowtogetout.[Howard]:TheonlythingweneedtodoismakethisKimkidlosehisfocus.[Leonard]:Itwon'thappen,heisnotinterestedinanythingbutphysics.[Howard]:Whataboutbiology?[Leonard]:What?[Howard]:Youknow,biology~Theonethingthatcancompletelyderailaworld-classmind.[Leonard]:Howard,he’s15.[Howard]:Yeah,so?WhenIwas15,ImetDenisePalmeriandmygradepointaveragefellfroma5.0toa1.8.[Raj]:Shewassleepingwithyou?[Howard]:No,Ijust...wastedalotoftimethinkingaboutwhatitwouldbelikeifshedid.[Sheldon]:Oh,good!You'reallhere.Look,I'vedecidedthatifthethreeofyoudropwhateveritisyou'reworkingonandjoinme,wecouldlickcoldfusioninlessthanadecade,12years,tops.Goaway?Coulditbeme?[Penny]:Oh.Hey,guys.What'sup?[Howard]:Weneedahot15-year-oldAsiangirlwithathingforsmartguys.[Penny]:What?[Leonard]:Howard,that'sracist,any15-year-oldgirlwilldothetrick.[Raj]:It'spossibleshemayhavemisunderstoodus.[Gablehauser]:Dr.Cooper,areweinterrupting?[Sheldon]:No,no,pleasecomein.Yeah,Ithinkyou'llappreciatethis,thisisveryexciting.[Gablehauser]:Oh,whatareyouworkingon?[Sheldon]:Somethingremarkable.SincemyprospectsfortheNobelPrizeinphysicshavedisappeared...Thankyouverymuch.I'vedecidedtorefocusmyeffortsandusemypeopleskillstowintheNobelPeacePrize.Look,I'mgoingtosolvetheMiddleEastcrisisbybuildinganexactreplicaofJerusaleminthemiddleoftheMexicandesert.[Gablehauser]:Towhatend?[Sheldon]:Youknow,it'slikethebaseballmovie…“Builditandtheywillcome”.[Gablehauser]:Whowillcome?[Sheldon]:TheJewishpeople.[Gablehauser]:Whatiftheydon'tcome?[Sheldon]:We'llmakeitnice,putoutaspread.[Gablehauser]:Okay,well,um…speakingofspreads,we'rehavingasmallwelcomingpartythisafternoonforMr.Kimwho'sagreedtojoinushereattheuniversity.[Sheldon]:Ofcoursehehas.TheOracletolduslittleNeowastheone.Youcanseethematrix,can'tyou?[Gablehauser]:Okay,well,obviouslyyou'reverybusywithyour,ah,um...Come,Dennis.You'llhavetoexcuseDr.Cooper.He'sbeenunderalotof,um...He'snuts.[Sheldon]:Ireallydon'tunderstandyourobjections,professorGoldfarb,whywouldn'ttheSonoradesertmakeaperfectlygoodpromisedland?[Goldfarb]:Goaway.[Sheldon]:WecouldcallitNuevoJerusalem.[Goldfarb]:Pleasegoaway.[Sheldon]:SaidPharaohtoMoses.[Gablehauser]:Whyarealltheseyoungwomenhere?[Leonard]:It'sTakeYourDaughterToWorkDay.[Gablehauser]:Really?Iwasnotawareofthat.[Raj]:Oh,yes.Therewasaveryofficiale-mailthatwassenttoeveryonewhoseinsurancefilesindicatedtheyhaddaughtersbetweentheagesof14and16.[Howard]:Hmm.Smooth.[Raj]:Thankyou.[Gablehauser]:There'sthemanofthehour.[Leonard]:Okay,so,wenowhaveasociallyawkwardgeniusinaroomfullofattractive,age-appropriatewomen.[Howard]:Allhehastodonowishookupwithoneofthem.[Leonard]:Anyoneelseseetheflawinthisplan?[Raj]:Weneedasocialcatalyst.[Leonard]:Likewhat?Wecan'tget15-year-oldgirlsdrunk.[Howard]:Orcanwe?[Leonard]:No,wecan't.[Howard]:Idon'tthinkyoumeanwecan't,Ithinkyoumeanweshouldn't.[Sheldon]:Hey,Howard,you'reaJew,iftherewasanotherWailingWallexactlyliketheoneinJerusalembutclosetotacostandsandcheapprescriptiondrugs,wouldyoustillbeabletowailatit?Okay,it'sdefinitelyme.[Leonard]:Okay,wecannotleavethistochance,let’spickagirlandfigureouthowtogethertogetherwithDennis.[Raj]:Okay.Howaboutthatone?[Howard]:Uh-uh.Iknowthetype.Cheerleader,studentcouncil,goesoutwiththejocks,won'tevenlookatanybodyinthegiftedprogram.Andif,aftertwoyearsofbegging,shedoesagreestogooutwithyou,itturnsouttobeasetupandyou'reinthebackseatofyourmom'scarwithyourpantsoffwhilethewholefootballteamlaughsatyou...[Raj]:Areyoucrying?[Howard]:No,Ihaveallergies.[Raj]:Okay.Uh...hey,howabouther?[Leonard]:Sure,ifhewantstospendacoupleofyearsdoingherhomeworkwhileshedrinksherselfintoastuporwithnonfatWhiteRussians,andyou'retheoneholdingherheadoutofthetoiletwhileshe'spukingandtellingyoushewishes“moreguyswerelikeyou”.AndthenshegetsintoCornellbecauseyouwroteheressayforherandyoudriveuptovisitheroneweekendandsheactslikeshedoesn'tevenknowyou.[Raj]:Okay,sonothereither.Hey,howabouther?[Howard]:Interesting,kindofpretty,alittlechubby,soprobablylowself-esteem.[Leonard]:Ithinkthat'sourgirl.Oneofusshouldgotalktoher.[Raj]:Ican'ttalktoher,youdoit.[Leonard]:Ican'tjustgoupandtalktoher,Howard,youtalktoher.[Howard]:Oh,Idon’tknow,she’llnevergoforthekidonceshegetsapeekatthis.[Raj]:Youknow,ifwewereinIndia,thiswouldbesimpler…Fiveminuteswithherdad,20goatsandalaptop,andwe'dbedone.[Leonard]:Well,we'renotinIndia.[Raj]:Allright,whydon'twedoityourwaythen?We'llarrangeforthisgirltomoveinacrossthehallfromDennissohecanpatheticallymoonoverherformonthsonend.[Leonard]:Okay,thatwasuncalledfor.[Raj]:Youstartedit,dude.[Gablehauser]:CouldIhaveeveryone'sattention,please?Whatawonderfuloccasionthisis,andhowfortunatethatitshouldhappentofallonTakeYourDaughterToWorkDay!We'reheretowelcomeMr.DennisKimtoourlittlefamily.Mr.KimwasnotonlythevaledictorianatStanfordUniversity,heisalsotheyoungestrecipientoftheprestigiousStevensonAward.[Sheldon]:Youngesttillthecyborgsriseup.[Gablehauser]:Andnow,withoutanyfurtherado,letmeintroducethemanofthehour,Mr.DennisKim!Dennis?[Dennis]:What?![Gablehauser]:Wouldyouliketotellusalittlebitaboutyourupcomingresearch?[Dennis]:Oh,no,thanks,I'mgoingtothemallwithEmma.[Leonard]:Thekidgotagirl.[Raj]:Unbelievable.[Howard]:Didanyoneseehowhedidit?[Sheldon]:Don'tworry,I'vegotthis.Ladiesandgentlemen,honoreddaughters,whileMr.Kim,byvirtueofhisyouthandnaivete,hasfallenpreytotheinexplicableneedforhumancontact,letmestepinandassureyouthatmyresearchwillgoonuninterrupted,andthatsocialrelationshipswillcontinuetobaffleandrepulseme.Thankyou.[Howard]:He'sback.[Leonard]:Yeah,missionaccomplished.[Raj]:Forgetthemission.Howdidthatlittleyutzgetagirlonhisown?[Howard]:Iguesstimeshavechangedsincewewereyoung.Smartisthenewsexy.[Leonard]:Thenwhydowegohomealoneeverynight?We'restillsmart.[Raj]:Maybewe'retoosmart.Sosmart,it'soff-putting.[Howard]:Yeah,let'sgowiththat.Unbelievable,componentsIbuiltareontheInternationalSpaceStationandIgetaticketforlaunchingamodelrocketinthepark.[Leonard]:Idon'tknowiftheticketwassomuchforthelaunchasitwasforyoutellingthepolicewoman“Youhavetofriskme,Ihaveanotherrocketinmypants”.[Raj]:Hey,lookatthat,It'sDennisKim.[Howard]:Wow,Ialmostdidn'trecognizehim.[Raj]:Youknow,Ikindoffeelbadaboutwhatwedidtohim.[Leonard]:Yeah,wereallyruinedhislife.[Sheldon]:Screwhim,hewasweak.-----------------THEEND------------------