电子邮件写作

电子邮件写作PAGEPAGE11第三讲商务便函与电子邮件写作一．便函与电子邮件简介：1．商务交流的选择----口头交流还是写便笺      在亚洲，人们喜欢直接交谈。主要是因为：（1）   直接交谈有助于保持良好的关系。（2）   直接交谈可以减少误会。2．商务便函与电子邮件的 内容 财务内部控制制度的内容财务内部控制制度的内容人员招聘与配置的内容项目成本控制的内容消防安全演练内容 与特点（1）   商务便函①   定义及内容：商务便函（Memorandum,简写Memo）是同一商业组织内部广泛使用的书面联系形式。②   特点：ⅰ.商务便函的组成部分比较简单，这是它最大的优点。ⅱ. 商务便函的语气需要根据写信人与收信人之间的关系以及所谈内容来决定。（2）   电子邮件①   定义及内容：电子邮件的内容通常包括：询问信息，道歉，确认，通知，倡议等等。②   特点：基于高速快捷的因特网的发展，电子邮件也具备了使用方便、传播快捷、一信多发，而且价格十分低廉的特点，因此特别适合国际间的交流。3．便笺和电子邮件的主要作用·查询资料·要求采取行动·提供资料·提供建议·警告·解决问题二．便笺和电子邮件的结构和措辞        便笺和电子邮件必须条理清楚、证据恰当、措辞得体，这样才能达到预期的目的。1．格  式例子：      说明便笺或电子邮件的发送人。和“致”这一栏一样，发件人的写法也要考虑四个方面：发件人在自己任职的机构中的职位、发件人和收件人的关系、机构的规模和作风、便笺的内容。III.              日期：（Date:）发电子邮件时，日期一般由电脑自动插入。1.     日期的写法有两种，“日-月-年”（如12June1998）或“月-日-年”（如June12,1998）；2.     书写日期时不要使用缩写形式，序数词（如：1st,2nd,3rd等）和月份都不能缩写；3.     如果使用“日-月-年”格式，月和年之间不要加逗号。IV.             事由：（Subject:）       事由必须写得明白易懂，使人一目了然。事由写得好可以突出信文的目的，引起收件人对重点内容的注意。（2）信文：写便笺和电子邮件时，在格式方面还应注意以下几点：1.首先，便笺和电子邮件不同于信件或传真，无须使用称呼（如“DearMrSoo”）。2.同样，便笺和电子邮件中也无须使用公式化的结尾敬辞。3.便笺一般无须签名，只是在信文后写上自己的姓名和姓名缩写就可以了，也可以什么都不写。有些电子邮件软件可以使用数码插入方式签名。4.     如果便笺或电子邮件需要抄送其他人，应在信头注明。5.     便笺和电子邮件中，无须写上打字员的姓名。6.     便笺和电子邮件的正文部分，段落内采用单行间隔，段落之间采用双行间隔。2．结            构      便笺和电子邮件一般都使用标准格式，写起来比其他商业书信或传真容易。也就是说，写便笺和电子邮件时可以集中在内容的组织上，使其条理清楚、脉络分明。      便笺内容的组织有两种基本的方法：首先介绍情况，然后提出要求或建议。首先提出要求或建议（或称置前），然后说明情况。       下面我们通过几个具体的例子来讲述商务信函和电子邮件的具体写法以及注意事项：询问或提供意见和建议的便函例一：MEMOTO:DepartmentManagersPleaseanswerthequestionslistedbelowabouttheuseoftemporaryhelpinyourdepartment.(开头礼貌地提出要求)Withyourideasweplantodevelopapolicythatwillhelpusimprovetheprocessofbudgeting,selectingandhiringtemporaries.(间接地解释目的)1．Whatistheaveragenumberoftemporaryofficeworkersyouemployeachmonth?2．Whatistheaveragelengthofatemporaryworker’sassignmentinyourdepartment?3．Whatspecificjobskillsareyougenerallyseekinginyourtemporaries?4．Whattemporaryagenciesareyounowusing?(通过列举条目提问，更容易阅读和理解)ByreplyingbeforeJanuary20,youwillbehavedirectinputintothenewpolicy,whichwewillbedevelopingattheendofthemonth.Thisimprovedpolicywillhelpyoufillyourtemporaryemploymentneedsmorequicklyandmoreefficiently.(包括结束日期，原因和对读者的好处)注意：要在第一句话里重复和详述。请比较：间接开头直接开头ForthepastsixmonthstheHumanResourcesDevelopmentDepartmenthasbeenconsideringchangesinouremployees’benefitplan.Pleasereviewthefollowingproposalregardingemployees’benefit,andletmeknowbyMay20ifyouapprovethesechanges. 询问信息的电子邮件例二：From:              HYPERLINK"mailto:gaoxiang@domain.com.cn"gaoxiang@domain.com.cnMailto:             HYPERLINK"mailto:****@******.***.**"****@******.***.**Subject:             RequestforCatologDearSirorMadam， Iaminterestedinpurchasingyourlatestmailordercatalog,andwouldliketoknowthecost,includingpostagetoBeijing.  Ihopetohearfromyousoon.Thankyou. Sincerelyyours, User@domain.com.cnZhidaCo.,Ltd.17,FuchengmenBeidajie,BeijingFax:86-10-68329996C.致谢的便函   例三：（Officesuppliesproductionplant）To:MikeWang,PurchasingFrom:WilliamJiang,ProductionManagerDate:December8,2001Reference:PartsOrder4435Subject:ReceiprofComponentParts OurdepartmenthasreceivedthecomponentpartswerequestedonNovember3,2001.Thankyouforyourpromptaction.（说明陈述并表示感谢） However,myassistantdiscoveredthatthreeitemsaremissingfromtheorder:oneplatenknob,aprinterhead,andoneantiglarescreen.Iftheseitemsarenotinstock,pleaseorderthemforourdepartment.（其他补充） IG:rs                                         通知性质的电子邮件：例四：D.主管会议开会的通知：TO:AllManagers ThenextMonthlyManagementMeetingwillbeheldat10:00a.m.onMonday,April5,inMeetingRoomA. Followingistheagendaforthemeeting:PurchaseofNewOfficeComputersExtensionofSummerHolidaysBudgetaryControlIfthereareanyotheritemsyouwouldliketobeplacedontheagenda,letmeknowbye-mailbytheendofthisweek.Thankyou. JohnSmith3．便函和电子邮件的语气和措辞   （1）语  气            便笺和电子邮件的语气能反映出发信人和收信人之间的关系，主要体现在信文是否正式和语气是否肯定这两个方面，通常为下表所示的几种情况：—                                     肯定程度（CERTAINTY）                                       + 委婉、正式A较肯定、正式肯定、正式B+      正式程度（FORMALITY）  委婉、较正式较肯定、较正式肯定、较正式委婉、非正式C较肯定、非正式肯定、非正式D上表中的A，B，C和D四种语气分别用于以下四种情况：（1）                 资历较浅的雇员向老板作简短的书面汇报，就某个目提出一系列可行的建议（语气A）；（2）                 要求严格的经理发出通知，要求员工遵守公司守则（语气B）；（3）                 同事就确定午餐会日期提出建议（语气C）；（4）                 细心周到的经理对公司新来的同事表示欢迎（语气D） （2）措             辞      下列所列的语言可用于表达前面提到的几种作用。每一种表达方式都根据其正式程度[正式（F）、较正式（N）或非正式（I）]和肯定程度[肯定（C）、较肯定（N）和委婉（T）进行分类。这只是个大致的分类，读者的理解会受到这些用语的上下文影响。]请注意阴影部分的词汇的用法：  正式程度肯定程度询问情况  Iwantyoutopassmealltheinformationyouhaveabout…NCIshouldliketoknowexactlywhatactionhasbeentaken…FCIshouldlikeyoutogivemearecordof…FC 请求采取措施  Canyoupleasearrangefor…ICPleasefindout…（表示尊敬的词语）ICCouldyoupleaseensurethat…NNIwouldlikeyouto…NCDoyouthinkitwouldbepossibleto…?NTIamwritingtoremindyouthat…NN报告情况  说明查询的背景  Ihavelookedintothismatter…NCIhavemadeenquiries/dealtwiththeenquiry/about…FCIhaveinvestigated…asrequestedinyourmemoof2February.FC就查询作出解释  Iamtoldthat…NNIaminformedthat…FNIunderstandthatMsRobinsonwasunawareofthesituation.FTIhavefound/discoveredthat…NC解释跟进查询的情况  Ihaveoffered/arrangedadiscountof10%…NCIhavesentaninvoicefortheoutstandingsumtoMrsLau.NC提供建议  Canwegettogethersometimelaterthisweektodiscuss…?ITYoureallyoughtto…INDon’tforgetto…ICItseemstomethatyoushould…NNPerhapsitwouldbeagoodideaifyouwereto…NTItwouldprobablynotbeagoodideato…NTMayIsuggestthat…?FTIthinkthatweshould…NNWeneedto…NC警告  Oursuppliesarebecomingincreasinglydepleted.NCUnlessweorder…,thestoremightrunoutinthemiddleoftheheavyseason.NNWeurgentlyneed…ifwearetomeetdemand.NCIamconcernedthat,unlessweareverycareful,ourpositionwillbecompromised.NC承担责任/道歉  IamafraidIwasresponsibleforconfusingtheinvoice.NCI’mafraiditwasmewhoconfusedtheinvoice.ICImustapologiseformakingthismistakeFCI’m(terribly)sorryaboutmakingthismistake.IC 4.写作方法与行文策略      写便函或电子邮件时，需要注意：      首先要考虑是否用口头方式（面对面地或通过电话）沟通更加合适，以此来决定是否使用便函或电子邮件。如果使用便函或电子邮件，那么要牢记：A)     内容：内容的组织要最能体现信文的目的。B)      语气：语气要适合双方之间的关系。写信时要考虑到信文的正式程度和肯定程度C)     篇幅：信文不宜太长——一般不超过二至三页。如果是电子邮件，应考虑是否有必要把想到的事情都写上。D)     安全：使用电子邮件时要慎重考虑所附文件，该文件可能会拷贝到对方的硬盘上去。  课后练习练习一：下面左边各段选自电话中的对话，请写出在功能相同的便笺和电子邮件中书面语言的表达。“Hello,isthatMichaelLee?ThisistheManagingDirectorhere.Couldyoudropthatreportyou’reworkingonovertomethismorning?Youknowtheone.Aboutthefeasibilityofexpandingourrangeofproducts.Thanks.”  “Harry?Yes,it’sPete.Look,we’dbetterdosomethingaboutattendanceatourdepartmentalstaffmeetings.Ifwedon’t,noonewillhaveanyideaofwhat’sgoingon.What’smore,sincepeoplearepaidtoattend,maybewe’dbetterthinkaboutdockingpeople’ssalariesiftheydon’tattend.”  “Hello,couldIspeaktotheProductionManager,please?…Hello,MrPark.ThisisKimWongchui,here.It’saboutthatinspectionyouaskedmetocarryout.I’mafraidwefoundalotofqualityproblemswiththenewmachinerywe’veinstalled.I’dsuggestshuttingdownproductionuntilweknowtheextentoftheproblem.”  Hello,MrFu?ThisisFrancesKohhere.Yes,SeniorAccountsSupervisor.MrFu,I’mafraidImadeaslightmistakeinthefiguresIsentyourecently.Yes.Well,notreallymyfault.Thecomputerwasdown.Youknowhowthesethingsare…Wouldyoulikemetosendovertherevisedfigures?Youwould.OK.   练习二：    下面左边的便笺中有多处语法、用词和文体上的错误，请指出并在右栏改正左栏中的错误。MEMORANDUMFrom: TheMangerTo:   AllgradeBstaffandlowerDate: 6June200-Subject:  LastThursday,when‘B’shiftwereclockingoff,oneofthemenhithisheadagainstasafetyladerwhichsomeonehadcarelesslyleftdown.Hehadtohavestichesinhisheadbecauseofthis. Iamfedupwithtellingyouaboutthiskindofthings.Oneofthesedays,we’llhaveaseriousaccident,andthenitwillbetoolate.UnlessIseeagreatimprovementinyourattitudetowardskeepingtheplacetidyandsafe,I’mafraidI’llhavetopunishoffenders.   练习三：1．Thefollowingsentencesaretakenfrommemosthatarenotclearorconcise.Rewritethemtomakethembetter.1.  Wehavecometothedecisionthatitisnotpossibleforthisoffertobeacceptedbyourcompany.2.  Inviewofthefactthatwewillloseabigcontractnextyear,expenseswillhavetobecutbyourcompany.3.  Intheeventofaretailerfindingourshirtsunsatisfactory,weshouldmakearrangementsforthemtobecollectedandreplacementssentwithoutdelay.4.  Inspiteofthefactthatwearelosingorderstoourcompetitors,wehavenointentionofloweringourprices.5.  Thereasonwhyoursalesaregoingdownisbecauseofthelackofstaffinthepromotiondepartment.参考答案 练习一：       Ishouldlikeyoutosendmethereportthatyouarecurrentlyworkingon（FeasibilityStudyofProductRangeExpansion）.       Somethingreallyoughttobedoneaboutattendanceatdepartmentalstaffmeetings.Otherwise,wemightfindthatimportantinformationisnotbeingpassedon.Whatdoyouthinkaboutdockingthepayofthosewhoareabsent?       Attherecentinspection,itwasdiscoveredthattherewerealotofqualityproblemswiththenewmachinery.Isuggestthatproductionbeshutdownuntiltheextentoftheproblemisknown.       IamafraidImadeaslightmistakeinthefiguresIsentyourecently.Thismistakewasduetothecomputersystembeingoutofoperation.Pleasetellmeifyouneedtherevisedfigures.练习二：MEMORANDUMFrom: TheMangerTo:   AllgradeBstaffandlowerDate: 6June200-Subject:SafetytPrecautionsatWork LastThursday,when‘B’shiftwereleavingwork,oneofthemenstruckhisheadagainstasafetyladder,whichhadcarelesslybeenleftinaloweredposition.Asaresult,hehadtohavestitchesinhishead. Ihavehadcausetotellyouaboutthistypeofaccidentonmanyoccasionsbefore.Atsometime,aseriousaccidentwilloccur,andthenitwillbetoolate.UnlessIseeagreatimprovementinyourattitudetowardsbasicsafetyprecautions，Ishallbeforcedtopunishoffenders. 练习三1. Wehavedecidedthatwecannotacceptthisoffer.2. Sincewewillloseabigcontractnextyear,wemustcutexpenses3. Ifaretailerfindsourshirtsunsatisfactory,weshouldcollectandreplacethemwithoutdelay.4. Althoughwearelosingorderstoourcompetitors,wewillnotlowerourprices.5.Oursalesarefallingbecauseourpromotionbranchisunder-staffed.课后作业1：Youareasalesmanagerandyouwanttoarrangeameetingwithyourteamattheendofthemonth.Writeanemailtoyourteam:ExplainingthepurposeofthesalesmeetingSayinghowtheyshouldprepareforthemeetingTellingthemwhattheyshoulddoiftheycannotattend.Write30-40words.课后作业2：Welconhassuppliedreceptionistsanddoormenforyourcompany’sheadquartersforoverfiveyears.Recentlythestandardofservicetheygivehasdeclinedsharply.Visitorshavecomplainedaboutrudeness,beingkeptwaitingandbeingmisdirected.Writeanemailtothecompany:Emphasizingthegoodrelationshipyouhavehadinthepast.Describingtheunacceptablebehavioroftheirstaffrecently.Insistingthatchangesaremadeimmediately.