Oxford As I See It

Oxford As I See It Oxford As I See It by Stephen Leacock 1 Yet in spite of its dilapidated buildings and its lack of fire-escapes, ventilation, sanitation, and up-to-date kitchen facilities, I persist in my assertion that I believe that Oxford, in its way, is the greatest university in the world. I am aware that this is an extreme statement and needs explanation. Oxford is much smaller in numbers, for example, than the State University of Minnesota, and is much poorer. It has, or had till yesterday, fewer students than the University of Toronto. To mention Oxford beside the 26 000 students of Columbia University sounds ridiculous. In point of money, the 39 000 000 dollar endowment of the University of Chicago, and the $35 000 000 one of Columbia, and the $43 000 000 of Harvard seem to leave Oxford nowhere. Yet the peculiar thing is that it is not nowhere. By some queer process of its own it seems to get there every time. It was therefore of the very greatest interest to me, as a profound scholar, to try to investigate just how this peculiar excellence of Oxford arises. 2 It can hardly be due to anything in the curriculum or programme of studies. Indeed, to any one accustomed to the best models of a university curriculum as it flourishes in the United States and Canada, the programme of studies is frankly quite laughable. There is less Applied Science in the place than would be found with us in a theological college. Hardly a single professor at Oxford would recognise a dynamo if he met it in broad daylight. The Oxford student learns nothing of chemistry, physics, heat, plumbing, electric wiring, gas-fitting or the use of a blow-torch. Any American college student can run a motor car, take a gasoline engine to pieces, fix a washer on a kitchen tap, mend a broken electric bell, and give an expert opinion on what has gone wrong with the furnace. It is these things indeed which stamp him as a college man, and occasion a very pardonable pride in the minds of his parents. But in all these things the Oxford student is the merest amateur. 3 This is bad enough. But after all one might say this is only the mechanical side of education. True: but one searches in vain in the Oxford curriculum for any adequate recognition of the higher and more cultured studies. Strange though it seems to us on this side of the Atlantic, there are no courses at Oxford in Housekeeping, or in Salesmanship, or in Advertising, or on Comparative Religion, or on the influence of the Press. There are no lectures whatever on Human Behaviour, on Altruism, on Egotism, or on the Play of Wild Animals. Apparently, the Oxford student does not learn these things. This cuts him off from a great deal of the larger culture of our side of the Atlantic. “What are you studying, this year?” I once asked a fourth year student at one of our great colleges. “I am electing Salesmanship and Religion,” he answered. Here was a young man whose training was destined inevitably to turn him into a moral business man: either that or nothing. At Oxford Salesmanship is not taught and Religion takes the feeble form of the New Testament. The more one looks at these things the more amazing it becomes that Oxford can produce any results at all. 4 The effect of the comparison is heightened by the peculiar position occupied at Oxford by the professors' lectures. In the colleges of Canada and the United States the lectures are supposed to be a really necessary and useful part of the student's training. Again and again I have heard the graduates of my own college assert that they had got as much, or nearly as much, out of the lectures at college as out of the athletics or the Greek letter society or the Banjo and Mandolin Club. In short, with us the lectures form a real part of the college life. At Oxford it is not so. The lectures, I understand, are given and may even be taken. But they are quite worthless and are not supposed to have anything much to do with the development of the student's mind. “The lectures here, ' said a Canadian student to me, “are punk.” I appealed to another student to know if this was so. “I don't know whether I'd call them exactly punk,” he answered, “but they're certainly rotten.” Other judgments were that the lectures were of no importance, that nobody took them, that they don't matter, that you can take them if you like, that they do you no harm. Notes to the text 1. about the author Stephen Leacock (1869--1944), Canadian humorist and economist, born in England. When he was seven years old, his parents emigrated to Canada. He was educated in Canada and the United States and is therefore to be considered as a North American writer. He is well-known to English-speaking people all over the world as a writer of humorous stories and essays. His humorous writings are in some ways in the tradition of Mark Twain. These works include; Literary Lapses (1910), Nonsense Novels (1911), Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town (1912) ,Moon Beams from the larger Lunacy (1915), and many others. He was also a professor of Economics and Political Science at McGill University, Toronto, Canada. In 1916, he wrote an important textbook on political science: Elements of Political Science. 2. Oxford refers to Oxford University, one of the most famous universities in the world and the oldest university in Britain. It was founded in 1249 3. fire-escapes (1.2) a set of metal stairs leading down outside a building to the ground, by which people can escape in case of fire 4. ventilation (1.2) a system for ensuring the circulation of fresh air in a room, building or other confined place 5. sanitation (1.2) the use of means for protecting public health, especially by the removing and treatment of waste 6. the State University of Minnesota (11.6--7) Minnesota state in North Central U. S. A. 7. the University of Toronto (1.8) a Canadian University founded in 1827 8. Columbia University (1.9) one of the famous universities in the U. S. A. , situated in New York, founded in 1754 9. the University of Chicago (1.11) situated in Chicago, founded in 1891 10. Harvard (1.12) one of the most famous universities in the U. S. A., situated in Cambridge, Massachusetts, founded in 1636 11. seems to get there (1.14) seems to be the best university. Whenever people mention universities, Oxford will always be regarded as the number one university in the world. 12. blow-torch (1.27) a lamp (or gas-pipe) from which a mixture of gas and air is blown out under pressure so as to give a small area of very hot flame (also blow-lamp) 13. washer (1.28) a ring of metal, leather, rubber, etc, put over a bolt or a screw to give a safer or larger pressing surface, or to put between two pipes to make a better joint 14. Altruism (1.41) a course on principle or quality of considering the well-being and happiness of others before one's own 15. Egotism (1.42) a course on the quality or practice of talking too much about oneself and believing that one is more important than others (cf. egoism: the quality or practice of always thinking about oneself, and about what will be the best for oneself; continued selfishness) 16. the New Testament (1.50) the second half of the Bible, containing the earliest Christian writings (cf. the Old Testament--the first half of the Bible, containing the ancient Hebrew writings about events before the birth of Jesus Christ) 17. The Greek Letter Society (11.59--60) a social club. Its name is formed by Greek letters, e.g. “EAE” (sigma, alpha, epsilon), “AKE” (alpha, kappa, epsilon), “KKK” (kappa, kappa, kappa), etc. There are 24 letters in the Greek Alphabet. 18. banjo (1.60) a stringed musical instrument, strummed or plucked with the fingers, having a neck like a guitar and a round sound box covered with parchment, traditionally a favourite instrument of American Black people 19. mandolin (1.60) musical instrument with 3 or 4 pairs of metal strings mounted on a deep, roundbacked body and played with a plectrum