中考作文

中考作文 2015年题目：i want to invent 范文1及点评： I want to invent a flying car It is not uncommon to meet traffic problems and serious air pollution in big city. It is a must to have a plan to improve the serious condition. I get an idea to design my own flying machine like a car which can drive well in the street as well as fly between the high rises to avoid the traffic jam. What’s more, when it is moving ,it can transform the motion energy into electricity to drive the engine. Thus, it is possible to save a lot of fuel and reduce the air pollution. It is of great use to solve the problems of traffic jam and air pollution ,and even save the natural resource. Bright idea can only be achieved with the determination and courage. I believe my idea will turn a new leaf of future life. 精彩亮点分析： 亮点一：高分短语 亮点二：it is a must 活用高频词 亮点三：定语从句描述自己设计的汽车 亮点四：高分短语 亮点五：be of great use 名词结构更高端 亮点六：被动语态，丰富句式 亮点七： turn a new leaf of future life 翻开未来生活的新篇章 ------------------------------------- 范文2及点评： I want to invent a time machine As a student who is experiencing unprecedented modern life nowadays, I would rather learn about the history and the future life of human being from a real experience than learn from a textbook. That’s why if I can work as a great inventor, inventing a time machine will be my first choice. The most important usage of my time machine will be visiting one of best schools in Tang Dynasty. As we all know, Tang Dynasty is famous for its open-minded education. Therefore, when I visit the school of the ancient city, I can not only try different ways of studying but communicate with people from different countries as well. Using a time machine is the most vivid way to learn history as it is botha record of mankind and a mirror of past, I am looking forward to the day when my time machine comes out. 精彩亮点分析： 亮点一：定语从句修饰对学生现在的生活 亮点二：用would rather „ than „ 表达学生的意愿 亮点三：用if条件状语从句表达主题 亮点四：be famous for 因„而著名 亮点五：not only „ but „ as well 不但„而且„ 亮点六：用动名词词组做主语 亮点七：用idiom突出历史的重要性 亮点八：定语从句表达学生的期待 ----------------------------------- 范文3及点评： I Want To Invent A Family Doctor Robot I want to invent a family doctor robot, which can be used to cure the illness without going out of their home. As far as I’m concerned, it will be extremely helpful and useful because of the following reasons: First, you can see the doctor immediately at home when you feel sick or get hurt. It can save us a lot of time, especially in emergency situations. Furthermore, hospitals today are always filled with patients, not everyone can be taken good care of. However, with the help of our robot doctors, you can talk to your personal doctor one to one whenever you want. In short, family doctor robots can make great contribution to our society. 精彩亮点分析： 亮点一：全文巧用“first, furthermore, in short” 等连接词，把家庭机器人医生的好处写的非常清晰，让阅卷老师一目了然。 亮点二：全文采用了定语从句、状语从句、并列句等多种长难句，为文采分增色不少。 亮点三：文中出现了“extremely, make contribution to” 这些超纲单词及词组，恰到好处地强调了家庭机器人医生的重要性，且为文采再次进行润色。 2016年题目：I'M READY [范文1] I'M READY Summer holiday is coming, all my classmates are preparing to have a wonderful holiday, including me. I am ready to go to Bei Daihe, the seaside holiday resort, for swimming and having a good time on the seaside. I can not only appreciate the beautiful scenery but also breathe the fresh air. It looks good, isn't it? Before I go to the seaside, I think it's important to take something useful with me such as sunglasses, bathing suit, suntan oil and my homework and so on. Well, the last I want to carry is some medicine, which can keep me safe. After that I should plan where I stay, play and how to get there. In conclusion, I do believe I can do it perfectly and enjoy myself. 精彩亮点分析： 亮点一：非谓语动词including的巧妙使用。 亮点二：同谓语的恰当使用，说明目的地是一个海滨度假圣地。 亮点三：not only „ but also „ 表达度假不仅可以欣赏美景还可以呼吸新鲜空气。 亮点四：运用反义疑问句，加强语气。 亮点五：运用定语从句，修饰medicine。 亮点六：巧妙使用“do“这个词，加强语言表达力度。 [范文2] I'M READY Are you a person who always likes to get ready for everything? Do you often make a full preparation for something before doing? I am such a guy due to an unforgettable experience. I still remember it was a final exam, I had been playing all day before it, believing that I am clever enough to get a high score, however, the result was very awful. From then on, I know if you want to succeed, the most important thing is to get ready for it. Therefore, during the last whole year, I devote all my time to reviewing my lessons. The only reason is that I know there isn’t a lucky dog in the world, and on the way to success, hardworking is the key. 精彩亮点分析： 亮点一：疑问句开头，引发阅读兴趣 亮点二：过去完成进行时的使用使文章意思表达的更清晰 亮点三：分词做伴随状语，使文章档次提升 亮点四：be +adj.+enough to do sth. 足够„做某事 亮点五：条件状语从句的使用 亮点六：不定式做表语 亮点七：devote one’s time (in)to„把„奉献给„ 亮点八：表语从句的使用