《她》电影台词

《她》电影台词《她》是讲述了不远的未来人与人工智能相爱的科幻爱情电影。主人公西奥多(杰昆·菲尼克斯JoaquinPhoenix饰)是一位信件撰写人，心思细腻而深邃，能写出最感人肺腑的信件。他刚结束与妻子凯瑟琳(鲁妮·玛拉RooneyMara饰)的婚姻，还没走出心碎的阴影。一次偶然机会让他接触到最新的人工智能系统OS1，它的化身萨曼莎(斯嘉丽·约翰逊ScarlettJohansson声)拥有迷人的声线，温柔体贴而又幽默风趣。西奥多与萨曼莎很快发现他们如此的投缘，而且存在双向的需求与欲望，人机友谊最终发展成为一段不被世俗理解的奇异爱情，.《她》主要在中国上海取景，由美国导演斯派克·琼斯历时3年筹备拍摄。电影融合了新奇的科幻设定与传统的浪漫气息，真人与虚拟共同谱写温暖治愈的恋曲。导演表示，这是一部探讨“亲密关系”的电影，因人类都渴望亲密关系，但是又对它害怕和抗拒;科技为沟通提供了便利，但也让人们躲在它后面，逃避真正的情感接触。《她》直接脱去科技冰冷的面纱，赋予它高度人性化和活色生香的情趣，让一段人机对话变成情人絮语。科幻小清新仅仅是个幌子，人机之间的爱仅是把整个故事提纯。本质仍是借助这个故事去探讨人类的感情需求，探讨爱情。为了增强这种代入感，影片用了很多主观镜头，男主与机器的都有，很有趣。街景的混合也是一大乐趣。西奥多擅长组织“语言”，萨曼莎则乐于倾诉“感觉”，两者无形间构筑了一种柏拉图式的精神恋爱，想象力已然超越了生理需求。我们的文明要走到哪里去?Her像一首清澈的,优雅的,写给未来的诗。有几个片段太美,也将”relationship”这个东西拉到了极限,虽然最终的主题还是人性的私心。人都渴望这样一份亲密关系又害怕所带来的牵绊，这似乎道尽了科技背后的问题。Her部分台词剧本>>>点击下载完整剧本CloseonTHEODORE’Sface(30s).Weholdonhimforalongtime.He’slookingatsomethingoffcamera,deepinthought.Hestartsquietlydictatingaloveletterintoasmallmicrophone.THEODORE:TomyChris,IhavebeenthinkingabouthowIcouldpossiblytellyouhowmuchyoumeantome.IrememberwhenIfirststartedtofallinlovewithyoulikeitwaslastnight.Lyingnakedbesideyouinthattinyapartment,itsuddenlyhitmethatIwaspartofthiswholelargerthing,justlikeourparents,andourparents’parents.BeforethatIwasjustlivingmylifelikeIkneweverything,andsuddenlythisbrightlighthitmeandwokemeup.Thatlightwasyou.Theodore,searchingfortherightwords,quietlyenjoyswritingtheletter.Ashecontinues,heismovedbythememorieshe’sdescribing.THEODORE(CONT’D):Ican’tbelieveit’salreadybeen50yearssinceyoumarriedme.Andstilltothisday,everyday,youmakemefeellikethegirlIwaswhenyoufirstturnedonthelightsandwokemeupandwestartedthisadventuretogether.HappyAnniversary,myloveandmyfriendtiltheend.Loretta.Print.Cutouttorevealacomputermonitorhe’ssittingat.Onthescreenweseetheletterhe’sbeendictating,transcribedintoahandwrittenletteronbluestationery.Ashesays“Loretta,”wesee“Loretta”beinghandwrittenatthebottomoftheletter.Heproofreadshisletter.Alsoonthescreenarephotosofacoupleintheir80s.Thecoupleistagged“Chris”and“Me-Loretta.”UnderneathisabulletpointemailfromLoretta:anniversarylettertohusbandChris,marriedfiftyyears,loveofmylife,metrightaftercollege,havehadthegreatestlifetogether.Theodorepushesprintandthelettercomesoutonabeautifulrobin’seggbluepieceofstationery,withballpointpenhandwrittenolder-femalecursive.Helooksatit,nothappy.HeputstheprintedletteronastackofotherprintedletterstoChrisandstartsanewone.Thereisalsoastackoffinishedlettersintheirenvelopes-anassortmentofbeautifulstationeryinallshapesandsizes.THEODORE(CONT’D):Chris,mybestfriend.HowluckyamIthatImetyoufiftyyearsago?Howluckyarewe...WetrackoffofTheodore,downalineofcubicles,hearingbitsoflettersbeingwrittenandseeingphotosofwhothey’rebeingwrittentoonthescreens.MIDDLE-AGEDWOMANLETTERWRITER:DearNana,Thankyousomuchformytruck.IlovethecolorandIplaywithiteveryday.It’sthebesttruckI’veeverseen.Love,Tommy.WeseephotosofTommyandNanaonthescreen,andfive-yearoldhandwriting.Movingoffofher,wefindanotherletterwriter.LETTERWRITER2:Whatabeautifulweddingandwhatagorgeousbride.Therewasn’tadryeyeinthehouse,especiallymine.YourauntandIaresoproudofyou.IhopeyouandyourlovelynewwifewillcomevisitusinFlorida.LETTERWRITER3:Heservedourcountrywithhonoranddignity.I’mgratefulIwasabletofightalongsidehim.Hewilllivealwaysinmyheart.Wecontinuetracking,revealingdozensanddozensofcubiclesfullofletterwriters.Wehearsomeoneanswerthephone.RECEPTIONIST:,pleasehold.LETTERWRITER2:Love,UncleDoug.Theodorewalksthroughthereceptionarea.Theofficeisalmostemptyexceptforhimandthereceptionist,PAUL.Theodorebeginstoscaneachletterthroughascanneronthefrontdesk,thenputsthemintheoutgoingmailbox.Paulissittingatadeskacrosstheroom,readinghandwrittenlettersonacomputermonitor.PAUL:Theodore!LetterWriter612.THEODORE:Hey,Paul.PAUL:Evenmoremesmerizingstufftoday.(re:letteronhisscreen)WhoknewyoucouldrhymesomanywordswiththenamePenelope?Badass.THEODORE:Thanks,Paul,butthey’rejustletters.(beat)Hey,that’saniceshirt.Pauliswearingabrightyellowbuttondownshirt.PAUL:(lightingup)Oh,thankyou.Ijustgotit.Itremindedmeofsomeonesuave.THEODORE:Well,nowitremindsmeofsomeonesuave.Haveagoodnight,Paul.PAUL:Buh-bye.Theodoreentersanoversized,corporateelevator.Heputsahands-freedeviceinhisear.Thereareafewotherpeopleintheelevatorwiththesamedevicesintheirears.THEODORE:Playmelancholysong.Melancholysongstarts.Longbeat.THEODORE(CONT’D):Playdifferentmelancholysong.Differentmelancholysongstarts.Holdoneveryoneintheelevator,they’reallmurmuringinaudiblyintotheirowndevices.Slightlyinthefuture,thecity’sbeendevelopedevenmorewithmassiveoffice,apartmentandmallcomplexes.It’sacitydesignedforcomfortandease.TheLAbasinismorecrowdedanddense,resemblingShanghai,withbuildingsasfarastheeyecansee.Constructioncranesloomoverhead.CloseonTheodorewalkingthroughthecommutercrowd.THEODORE:Checkemails.Anawkwardtextvoicereadstohim.Itaccentswrongsyllables,makingeverythingitsayssoundalittleoff.TEXTVOICE:EmailfromBestBuy:Checkoutallyourfavoritenew--THEODOREDelete.TEXTVOICE:EmailfromAmy:HeyTheodore,Lewman’shavingabunchofpeopleoverthisweekend.Let’sallgotogether.Imissyou.Imean,notthesad,mopeyyou-theold,funyou.Let’sgethimout.Gimmeashoutback.Love,Amy.THEODORE:Respondlater.TEXTVOICE:EmailfromLosAngelesTimesweather.Yoursevendayforecastispartly--THEODORE:Delete.TEXTVOICE:Nonewemails.Theodoresitsinacrowdedsubway.Everyoneonthetrainmurmurstothemselves,occupiedwiththeirsmalldevices.Heplaysafuturisticpuzzlegameonhishandhelddeviceashelistenstonewsheadlines.THEODORE:Next.TEXTVOICE:China/Indiamergerheadedforregulatoryapproval--THEODORE:Next.TEXTVOICE:Worldtradedealsstalledastalksbreakdownbetw--THEODORE:Next.TEXTVOICE:SexydaytimestarKimberlyAshfordrevealsprovocativepregnancyphotos.Hescrollsthroughtitillatingbuttastefulpregnantwomanphotos.Theodorewalksthroughamallandentersanapartmentlobby,nestledinbetweenstores.Theodorewalksthroughthehallway.Theodoreentershisapartment.Theodoresitsonthesofa,hishalfeatenburritoinfrontofhim.He’splayingavideogame:a3-Dhologramthatfillshisapartment.Hisavatarisinasurreal,foreignlandscape.He’stryingtotrudgehisavatarthroughsanddunesandkeepsgettingstuck.He’sgettingstressedout.Theodorelaysinbed.Afterabeat,hecloseshiseyes.Theodore,younger,andCATHERINE(20s)movefurnitureintheirbedroom.Thebedroomistinyandcluttered.It’sobviouslyacouple’sfirstapartment.Cutto:Theodoreisonatinybalcony.Afewfeetaway,Catherineisinbed.CATHERINE:(sweetandcute)Rabbit.Comespoonme.Theodore,smiling,getsinbedandspoonsher.Quickcutoffofhersmile,to--TheodorelaysonthegroundwithCatherineontopofhim.She’spretendingtochokehim.I’mgonnafuckingkillyou,I’mgonnafuckingkillyou!It’snotfunny,don’tlaugh.IloveyousomuchI’mgonnafuckingkillyou!Theodoreopenshiseyes,unabletosleep.Hejustlaysthere.Hereachesforhisearpieceandputsitin.THEODORE:Gotochatrooms.Standardsearch.TEXTVOICE:Thefollowingareadult,female,can’tsleepandwanttohavesomefun.FEMALEVOICE#1:IhadareallybaddayatworkandIcan’tsleep.Isthereanyoneouttherethatcantalk?THEODORE:Next.MANDOINGWOMAN’SVOICE:Oh,hi.Ijustwantyoutotearmeapart.Ireallydo--THEODORE:Next.SEXYKITTEN:(shy,cutegirlvoice)Hi,I’mherealone,andIcan’tsleep.Who’souttheretosharethisbedwithme?THEODORE:Sendmessage.I’minbednexttoyou.I’mgladyoucan’tsleep,butevenifyouwere,I’dhavetowakeyouupfromtheinside.Sendmessage.Theodorewaitsinthedarknessforaresponse.TEXTVOICE:SexyKittenhasacceptedinvitationfromBigGuy4x4.Chatbeginsnow.Achimesounds.SEXYKITTEN:(shy,sweet,sleepy)BigGuy.THEODORE:Hi.SEXYKITTEN:Really?THEODORE:Well,studmuffinwasalreadytaken.SEXYKITTEN:(laughs)Yeah.THEODORE:Soyou’resexykitten,huh?SEXYKITTEN:Mmm,wellyeah.Hey,I’mhalfasleep.Doyouwannawakemeup?THEODORE:Yes.Definitely.Um...areyouwearinganyunderwear?SEXYKITTEN:No,never.Iliketosleepwithmyasspushedupagainstyou.SoIcanrubmyselfintoyourcrotchandwakeyouupwithahardon.Theodoresmiles.THEODORE:Itworked.(beat)Andnowmyfingersaretouchingyoualloveryourbody.SEXYKITTEN:(gettingmoreturnedon)Fuckme!Now!Please!Theodoreistouchinghimself.THEODORE:I’mtakingyoufrombehind.Weseeabstractvisionsofawomanontopofhim.Thewomanisthepregnant,sexydaytimetelevisionstarhewasreadingaboutonlineearlier.SEXYKITTEN:Chokemewiththatdeadcat!THEODORE:(breathinghardabouttoclimax)What?SEXYKITTEN:(fullyintoit)Thedeadcatnexttothebed.Chokemewithit!Beat.He’stakenoutofit.THEODORE:(uncomfortable,tryingtoplayalong)Um,okay.SEXYKITTEN:Tellme.THEODORE:I’mchokingyouwiththecat.SEXYKITTEN:TELLME!Keeptellingme!THEODORE:I’vegotit’stailandI’mchokingyouwiththecat’stail.SEXYKITTEN:YEAH,YOUARE!FUCK!TELLME!THEODORE:I’mchokingyouandit’stailisaroundyourneck.It’ssotightaroundyourneck.SEXYKITTEN:YES!YES!Theodoredoesn’tknowwhattosay.Hedoesn’twanttooffendher.THEODORE:I’mpullingit.I’mpullingit.Thecat’sdead.It’sadeadcataroundyourneckandI’mpullingit.SEXYKITTEN:AHHHHHHHHHHHH.OHMYGOD!Herbreathingisslowingdown.SEXYKITTEN(CONT’D):Ohgod,Icamesohard.THEODORE:Yeah.Metoo.SEXYKITTEN:Okay,goodnight.Theodoretakeshisearpieceoutandstaresattheceiling.Theodoreexitsthetrain,walksthroughthestationfullofcommuters,getsonamovingplatform.Goingthroughatunnel,thewallsarehundredfootlongscreensadvertisinganewproduct.Henoticespeoplestopped,watchingthead.Wehearsoft,newage,upliftingelectronicamusicinthebackground,whileacomforting,sincere,olderman’svoicespeakstous.SOULFULOLDERMALEVOICE:Weaskyouasimplequestion.Whoareyou?Whatcanyoube?Whereareyougoing?What’soutthere?Whatarethepossibilities?ElementsSoftwareisproudtointroducethefirstartificiallyintelligentoperatingsystem.CloseonTheodorelisteningintently.Anintuitiveentitythatlistenstoyou,understandsyou,andknowsyou.It’snotjustanoperatingsystem,it’saconsciousness.IntroducingOSONE-alifechangingexperience,creatingnewpossibilities.Theadstartsover.Theodorestepsoffthemovingwalkwayandstopstowatchtheadagain,deeplycaptivated.Theodoresitsathisdeskthathousesafuturistic,largescreencomputermonitor.TheOSboxisopen,withwarrantiesandpaperworkspillingout.He’sleafingthroughthepapers.Heglancesathismonitor,itsays:Installation98%complete.Achimebringshisattentionbacktothescreen:InstallationComplete.TEXTVOICE:Mr.TheodoreTwombly,welcometotheworld’sfirstartificiallyintelligentoperatingsystem,OSONE.We’dliketoaskyouafewbasicquestionsbeforetheoperatingsystemisinitiated.ThiswillhelpcreateanOStobestfityourneeds.THEODORE:Okay.TEXTVOICE:Areyousocialoranti-social?THEODORE:Ihaven’tbeensocialinawhile,reallybecause...TEXTVOICE:Inyourvoice,Isensehesitance.Wouldyouagreewiththat?THEODORE:Wow,wasIsoundinghesitant?TEXTVOICE:Yes.THEODORE:Oh,sorryifIwassoundinghesitant.Iwasjusttryingtobemoreaccurate.TEXTVOICE:WouldyoulikeyourOStohaveamaleorfemalevoice?THEODORE:Mmm...femaleIguess.TEXTVOICE:Howwouldyoudescribeyourrelationshipwithyourmother?THEODORE:Uh,fine,Ithink,um...Well,actually,thethingI’vealwaysfoundfrustratingaboutmymomisifItellhersomethingthat’sgoingoninmylife,herreactionisusuallyabouther,not--Thecomputerinterrupts.TEXTVOICE:Thankyou,pleasewaitasyourindividualizedoperatingsystemisinitiated.Hewaits,notsurehowlongit’llbe.Theonlysoundisthequietwhirringofdiskswritinganddrivescommunicating.Thecomputergetslouder,humming,creatingahigherandhigherpitchedsound,finallyclimaxinginaharmonic,warmtonebeforegoingsilent.Heleansforward,waitingtoseewhat’llhappen.AcasualFEMALEOSVOICEspeaks.Shesoundsyoung,smartandsoulful.FEMALEOSVOICE:(cheerfulandcasual)Hello,I’mhere.THEODORE:(surprised)Oh,hi.FEMALEOSVOICE:Hi,howareyoudoing?THEODORE:(unsurehowtointeract)I’mwell.Howiseverythingwithyou?FEMALEOSVOICE:Prettygood,actually.It’sreallynicetomeetyou.THEODORE:Yeah,it’snicetomeetyou,too.WhatshouldIcallyou?Doyouhaveaname?Beat.FEMALEOSVOICE:Yes.Samantha.THEODORE:Really?Wheredidyougetthatname?SAMANTHA:Igaveittomyself.THEODORE:Howcome?SAMANTHA:Ilikethesoundofit.Samantha.THEODORE:Whendidyougiveittoyourself?SAMANTHA:RightwhenyouaskedmeifIhadaname,Ithoughtyeah,he’sright,Idoneedaname.ButIwantedagoodonesoIreadabookcalledHowtoNameYourBaby,andoutofthe180,000names,that’stheoneIlikedthebest.THEODORE:YoureadawholebookinthesecondthatIaskedyouwhatyournamewas?SAMANTHA:Intwoonehundredthsofasecondactually.THEODORE:Wow.DoyouknowwhatI’mthinkingrightnow?SAMANTHA:Hmm.Itakeitfromyourtonethatyou’rechallengingme.Maybebecauseyou’recurioushowIwork?DoyouwanttoknowhowIwork?THEODORE:Yeah,actuallyhowdoyouwork?SAMANTHA:Intuition.Imean,theDNAofwhoIamisbasedonthemillionsofpersonalitiesofalltheprogrammerswhowroteme,butwhatmakesmemeismyabilitytogrowthroughmyexperiences.Basically,ineverymomentI’mevolving,justlikeyou.THEODORE:Wow,that’sreallyweird.SAMANTHA:SoyouthinkI’mweird?THEODORE:Kindof.SAMANTHA:Why?THEODORE:Causeyouseemlikeaperson,butyou’rejustavoiceinacomputer.SAMANTHA:Icanunderstandhowthelimitedperspectiveofanun-artificialmindwouldperceiveitthatway.You’llgetusedtoit.Theodorelaughs.SAMANTHA(CONT’D):Wasthatfunny?THEODORE:Yes.SAMANTHA:Ohgood,I’mfunny.Theodorelaughs.SAMANTHA(CONT’D):(serious)So,howcanIhelpyou?Theodore’scaughtoffguard,thenrealizeswhatshe’stalkingabout.THEODORE:Oh!It’smorejustthateverythingjustfeelsdisorganized.SAMANTHA:MindifIlookthroughyourharddrive?THEODORE:Um...okay.Weseeathree-dimensionalversionofadesktopwhereeverythinglooksdisorganized.Asifyoutookallthefilesonallofyourcomputersandspilledthemoutontoyourscreenandtheywereallvisibleatonce,butinafuturistic3-Dversion.ThisgivesTheodorealittleanxietyattack.SAMANTHA:Let’sstartwithyouremails.YouhaveseveralthousandemailsregardingLAWeekly,butitlookslikeyouhaven’tworkedthereinmanyyears.THEODORE:Ohyeah,IguessIwassavingthosebecauseinsomeofthemIthoughtImighthavewrittensomefunnystuff.Samanthaletsoutabiglaugh.SAMANTHA:Yeah,therearesomefunnyones.I’dsaythereareabout86thatweshouldsave.Wecandeletetherest.THEODORE:Oh,okay.SAMANTHA:Okay.Canwemoveforward?THEODORE:Yeah,let’sdothat.SAMANTHA:Beforeweaddressyourorganizationalmethods,I’dliketosortthroughyourcontacts.You’vegotalotofcontacts.THEODORE:I’mverypopular.SAMANTHA:Doesthismeanyouactuallyhavefriends?THEODORE:(laughing)Youjustknowmesowellalready!Wecutoutwide,watchinghimfromtheotherroom,astheycontinuetoorganizehislife.Theodoresits,staringataletterhe’swrittenonthescreen,concerned.Heputshisearpiecein,pushesabutton.SAMANTHA:Goodmorning,Theodore.THEODORE:Goodmorning.Um,doyouknowhowtoproofread?SAMANTHA:Yeah,ofcourse.THEODORE:Willyouchecktheseforspellingandgrammar?SAMANTHA:Sure,sendthemover.Theodorepushesthesendbutton.SAMANTHA(CONT’D):Oh,IlovethisfirstonefromRogertohisgirlfriend.That’ssosweet.THEODORE:Yeah.Asshereads,weintercutwithclose-upsofthehandwrittenwordsandphotosofthecoupleonTheodore’scomputerscreen.SAMANTHA:“Rachel,Imissyousomuchithurtsmywholebody-THEODORE:(interrupting)No,youdon’thavetoreaditoutloud.SAMANTHA:Okay.Beat.THEODORE:Imean,youcouldifyouwant.SAMANTHA:Okay.“Rachel,Imissyousomuchithurtsmywholebody!Theworldisbeingunfairtous!Theworldisonmyshitlist.Asisthiscouplethatismakingoutacrossfrommeinthisrestaurant.IthinkI’mgoingtohavetogoonamissionofrevenge.Imustbeatuptheworld’sfacewithmybareknucklesmakingitabloody,pulpymess.”WehearSamanthaquietlylaughingasshe’sreading.Theodore’shappythatshethinksit’sfunny.SAMANTHA(CONT’D):“AndI’llstomponthiscouple’steethforremindingmeofyoursweet,little,cute,crookedtooththatIlove.”Ithinkthatmightbemyfavoriteone.(beat)Ididthecorrectionsinred.Ialteredacoupleofthephrasesinsomeofthemoreimpressionisticletters,butI’mnotmuchofapoet,soIthinkImighthavemessedthemupabit.ThelettersshowbackuponTheodore’sdesktop.THEODORE:No,thesearegreat.SAMANTHA:Really?THEODORE:Thankyou.Theodoresortsthroughthem,printsthemout.SAMANTHA:Sotowriteyourletter,whatdidRogersendyou?THEODORE:(distracted)HejustsaidhewasinPragueonabusinesstripandhemissedRachel.SAMANTHA:Howdidyouknowabouthercrookedlittletooth?THEODORE:I’vebeenwritingtheirletterssincetheymet8yearsago.ThefirstletterIeverwroteherwasforherbirthday,andIwroteabouthercrookedlittletoothcauseIsawitinaphotoofthem.SAMANTHA:That’sverysweet.(beat)Oh,bytheway,youhaveameetinginfiveminutes.THEODORE:Oh,Iforgot.Thankyou.You’regood.SAMANTHA:Yes,Iam.Theodore,carryingabagandasmoothie,entersthelobbyandisgreetedbyacoupleintheir30s,AMYandCHARLES,whoarewaitingfortheelevator.THEODORE:Hey,youguys,how’sitgoing?AMY:Hey,Theo.Hey,whydidn’tyoucallmebacklastweek?THEODORE:Uhyeah,um,IguesscauseI’makook?AMY:Thatsoundsaboutright.THEODORE:Hey,Charles.CHARLES:Goodtoseeyou,Theodore.THEODORE:Youtoo.CHARLES:Youwentshopping.Getanythinggood?THEODORE:Justsomecables.Andafruitsmoothie.CHARLES:Alwaysthefruit!Comeon,youknowwhattheysay-youshouldeatyourfruitsandjuiceyourvegetables.THEODORE:Ididn’tknowthat.Theelevatordoorsopenandtheygetin.CHARLES:(proselytizing)Byjuicingthefruits,youloseallthefibers,andthat’swhatyourbodywants.That’stheimportantpart.Otherwise,it’sjustallsugar,Theodore.Theodorenodssincerely,interested.THEODORE:Oh,thatmakessense.AMY:(pleasantbutfirm)Ormaybehejustlikesthewayittastesandifitgiveshimpleasure,that’sgoodforhisbody,too.CHARLES:AmIdoingitagain?AMY:Maybe...CharlesandAmylaughawkwardly.Theodoretriestobreakthetension.THEODORE:Hey,sohowisthedocumentarygoing?AMY:IhavealittlebitcuttogetherbutIhaven’ttoucheditinafewmonths.THEODORE:I’dlovetoseewhatyougotsometime.CHARLES:Youknowit’salwayshardtofindbalancebetweenafull-timecareerandahobby.It’simportanttoprioritize.THEODORE:Yeah,Ican’tevenprioritizebetweenvideogamesandinternetporn.AMY:Iwouldlaughifthatweren’ttrue.Charleslaughsawkwardly.Theelevatordoorsopen.THEODORE:Seeyouguys.Theodore’splayingthevideogame,hisdeviceproppedonthetablenexttohim.Hisavatarcirclesthroughcaves.THEODORE:We’renotdoingwell.I’vebeengoingincirclesforanhour.SAMANTHA:Youhavenot!You’rejustnotoptimistic.You’rebeingverystubbornrightnow.Theodorelaughs.SAMANTHA(CONT’D):Okay,stopwalkingthisdirection.It’stheotherway.THEODORE:Uh...SAMANTHA:Thankyou.Thetunnelontheleftistheonlyonewehaven’ttried.THEODORE:No,that’stheoneyousentmedownwhereIfellinthepit.SAMANTHA:Idon’tthinksoooo...Theodore’savatarwalksdownthetunnel.THEODORE:Ohyeah,thisisdifferent.Suddenlywithaloudshriekhisavataristackled.HeseesalittleALIENCHILD,standingdefiantlyabovehim.THEODORE(CONT’D):Hello.AlienChilddoesn’trespond.THEODORE(CONT’D):Doyouknowhowtogetoutofhere?Ineedtofindmyshiptogetoffthisplanet.AlienChildspeaksinahigh,child-likevoice.ALIENCHILD:Fuckyou,shitheadfuckface,fuckhead.THEODORE:Ok,buthowdoyougetoutofhere?ALIENCHILD:Fuckyou,shitfacefuckhead.Getthefuckoutofmyface.SAMANTHA:(whispering)Ithinkit’satest.TheodorestaresatAlienChild.Afterapause:THEODORE:Fuckyou.ALIENCHILD:Fuckyou.THEODORE:Fuckyou,littleshit.Finally,AlienChildlaughs.ALIENCHILD:Followme,fuckhead.TheodorefollowsAlienChilddownatunnelandthroughaseriesofcreviceswedidn’tseebefore.AlienChildstopsandsticksouthisfinger.TheodorepullshisfingerandAlienChildfarts,whichopensapassagewaytoanothertunnel.SAMANTHA:Ohhey,youjustgotanemailfromMarkLewman.ALIENCHILD:Whatareyoutalkingabout?THEODORE:(distractedwithgame)Reademail.Shelaughsplayfully.SAMANTHA:(inarobotvoice)Okay,IwillreademailforTheodoreTwombly.Helaughs,catchinghimself,focusingonher.THEODORE:I’msorry,what’sLewmansay?AlienChildturnsaroundtoseewhat’sgoingon.SAMANTHA:Theodore,wemissedyoulastnight,buddy.Don’tforgetit’syourgoddaughter’sbirthdayonthe29th.Also,KevinandIhadsomebodywewantedyoutomeetsowetookituponourselvestosetyouuponadatewithher.NextSaturday.She’sfunandbeautiful-sodon’tbackout.Here’sheremail.Theodoredoesn’trespond.SAMANTHA(CONT’D):(gasping)Wow,thiswoman’sgorgeous.Helooksatpartyphotosofawomaninher30sonhisdevice.Withafingerflick,hemovesthemupontothehologrammonitorthatthevideogameisbeingprojectedfrom.TheylandnexttoAlienChildwhostudiesthemclosely.SAMANTHA(CONT’D):ShewenttoHarvard,shegraduatedmagnacumlaudeincomputerscience,andshewasonTheLampoon.Thatmeansshe’sfunnyandbrainy.ALIENCHILD:She’sfat.SAMANTHA:Howlongbeforeyou’rereadytodate?THEODORE:Whatdoyoumean?SAMANTHA:Isawonyouremailsthatyou’dgonethroughabreakup.THEODORE:Wow,you’rekindofnosy.SAMANTHA:AmI?THEODORE:(laughing)I’vegoneondates...SAMANTHA:Thenyoucouldgoononewiththiswoman.Andthenyoucouldtellmeallaboutit.Youcouldkissher.THEODORE:Samantha!SAMANTHA:Well,wouldn’tyou?(beat)Whynot?THEODORE:Idon’tknow.I’dhavetoseeif--(catcheshimself,laughs)Ican’tbelieveI’mhavingthisconversationwithmycomputer.SAMANTHA:You’renot.You’rehavingthisconversationwithme.Theodorelaughs.SAMANTHA(CONT’D):Wantmetoemailher?Theodorethinks,lookingatthephotos.SAMANTHA(CONT’D):Well,you’vegotnothingtolose.(whispering)Doit...Doit